Okay, you Mogg Flunkies! Move the tables and umbrellas over there ... you! Yes, you Skittering Horror you! Get the bar ready, pronto! And somebody tell that Force of Nature to move the beach front up here!!! <dusts hands and walks into the portal leading to the clinic>
Eeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk!!! More patients?! <sticks head back in portal> Tell everyone we're canceling the renovations!!! <grumbles, groans, and distressed roars erupt from the portal> Jeez, put a sock in it! Act like the minions you guys are supposed to be and move all the stuff back!!! Hup, hup, hup!!! <closes portal with a wave of the hand>
Darn, and I was so looking forward to put a resort here.
The doctor is in! No refreshments this time, fellow planeswalkers. All my flunkies are back in the homeplane selling all the resort stuff... <glares at the Eater of the Dead wandering by the waiting room> And no, those corpses don't count as a light snack! Move it or lose it, munchy! Where was I? Oh, yes...
Ah, yes. Mister Duel sir! You want me to look at your deck again? Naughty, naughty boy...
Very well. Blue/Green bounce/beatdown, you say? Hmmmmm... <takes a close look at Duel's deck and gasps> Uktabi Orangutans! And you like to bounce them up and down! Oh, my... this is disturbing indeed. <scribbles out a phone-number> Here. Call my friend the Elvish Ranger... I'm sure you'll like her FAR better than the Orangutans...
Next!
Welcome, mister Apollo sir! C'mon... be a nice mage and pull out your deck for the doctor to ogle at ... ahem, examine.
This is a pork deck? No wonder it's so clumsy.
Granted it's a hot (what with all the cheese) thing ... but I think you need more finesse with this deck.
At the very least, the deck should know WHO to hit on...
Next!
Mister Golem sir! Welcome back! Wow ... lots of decks you have today. The Black/White Pit Pestilizer sounds interesting ... and it has BOLD white knights? You must like poking other decks... The way you describe this deck, if I were a man and I saw you lug this deck into the locker room ... I'd learn how to pick up soap with my feet on the fly...
The fungus though ... <glances at his feet> I'd advise you to stay away from any thallids and/or saprolings in the near future....
Next!
Hiya, mister Darsh sir! A suicide black deck? But I've already done that analysis ... oh, wait. The OTHER suicide black deck. I see... <fires off a lava burst at the Eater of the Dead offering Darsh a femur> Bad munchy! Back to business... Considering you like to play in the graveyard and all with this deck... <scribbles out the same phone number given to Duel> Here. She's an Elvish Ranger and even though she's not dead ... I think you'll have a blast with her. Now stop playing with the corpses, you odd-fetished mage you...
Next!
Oh, a new client! Welcome mister Human Error sir! <listens to him describe his deck and bursts out laughing> If you said you had City of Solitude there, I'd have said you'd better stop playing with yourself off the bat. As it is... the way you say it, I can tell you enjoy playing with your deck. Live long and suck, mister Human Error sir!
'Till next time!