CPA Notables 2003

[Notepad]

*would congratulate train, again...if he weren't all petrified*

*would moon the rest of y'all...if his pants weren't petrified too*

*in lieu of the colors on the front page...is still stone-like and oblivious to the fact that somebody instead wrote on his forehead with a colored marker*

 

[Nightstalkers]

Wasn't me....

*Colors in Sefro with a giant paint set and sets him in the guest area to dry....*

"You should be safe there until the brat finds out and fixes your problem... Unless a guest wants to take you home and use you as a coat rack or something."

...


"I did say coat, where's train?"

 

[Almindhra]

*walks in quietly with a smirk planted on her face...Dressed in some loose jeans and a black shirt...Yup, the same old wackos she remembers in this old place...Leans against a wall and watches the charade go on...*

 

[Svenmonkey]

Is it so wrong for me to want some danish right now?

 

[Spiderman]

* It's actually probably more my fault since I started the nominations late, extended it, and started the actual awards late. I'll be better next year *

Okay, wrapping this up this year. Unfortunately Ferret had to leave for his training, so hopefully he'll see this later.

This award is to that person who might make it far in the real world, away from this crazy game of Magic. This year's Most Likely to Become Famous in real life is once again DUke! Not sure what to get you this year since you got your music equipment last year, so you just get a plaque

Next is the funny award of the night, and not sure it will give you unpleasant images, but it's for that person who you think likes to post in his birthday suit. That's right, this year's Most Likely to Post Naked winner is train! Must be his inspiration for his brass poles.... he gets a little shopping spree at Men's Wearhouse.

I didn't get too many votes for this, but fortunately we have a winner. It's for that person who wowed us on his entrance. This year's first winner of Best Entrance is Chaos Turtle! Here's a nice red carpet for you!

And last, the winner for the CPA King is myself! I get a new Burger King crown! Thanks everyone!"

For those interested, here is how the votes went. The list of people are those who received ballots, the ones in bold are those who actually voted, those with Y after voted for Best Entrance.

Apollo Y
Azreal the Soulmaster
Chaos Turtle Y
EricBess Y
Ferret
Gerode
Izaryo Y
Jigglypuff
Killer Joe
Mazzak Y
Nightstalkers
Ransac
Reverend Love
sageridder
SeFRo
Spiderman Y
Svenmonkey
TICM
TomB Y
train Y

CPA King

Ed Sullivan
orgg
Spiderman 8
Svenmonkey
train 2

Most Funniest:

Chaos Turtle
Ferret
Mazzak
Nightstalkers 3
Ransac
orgg 2
train 5

Most Likely to Win the Pro Tour:

Capt. Caveman
Chaos Turtle
Istanbul 2
John O'
Killer Joe
Rakamir
Rooser
train

Most Spirited:

Apollo
Jigglypuff
Nightstalkers 2
Ransac
Spiderman
Svenmonkey
TomB
train 4

CPA Legend:

Baron Sengir
Ed Sullivan
Hetemti
Killer Joe
Mikeymike
Spiderman 2
TomB
Zadok 5

Most Intelligent:

Apollo 2
Chaos Turtle 3
DUke 2
EricBess 4
Istanbul
train 2

CPA Oldie But Goodie:

Ferret 5
Istanbul 2
rkoelsch 2
sageridder
TomB 3

Most Friendliest and Helpful:

EricBess
Hetemti
Nightstalkers
Spiderman 6
train 3

Best Sig:

Bob
Chaos Turtle
Istanbul
Nightstalkers
NorYtt
orgg 2
Spiderman 3
TomB
Zero T Katama

CPA Spammer:

Nightstalkers 10
Ransac
train 3

Best MTG Mascot:

13NoVa
Capt. Caveman
Chaos Turtle
Nightstalkers
orgg 5
Striking Dragon
train 2

Best CPA Writer:

Apollo
DUke
Ferret
rakso
Rando 2
Rooser
SeFRo 3
train 2

Most Outspoken:

DUke 8
Nightstalkers
SeFRo
Spiderman
train 2

Most Likely to Become Famous for non-Magic reasons:

Chaos Turtle
Ed Sullivan
DUke 5
EricBess
Ransac
SeFRo
train

Best Homemade Card Designer:

Azreal the Soulmaster
Capt.Caveman
FoR 3
Landkiller
Senori
Whimsical

Fairest Trader:

Chaos Turtle
orgg
rkoelsch
train 3
Troll

Best Deck Ideas:

13NoVa 2
Capt. Caveman 2
FoR
Istanbul
Jigglypuff
Mikeymike 2
Rakamir

Most Likely to Post While Naked:

Apollo 2
Ferret
Nightstalkers
orgg
Rakamir
Ransac 2
SeFRo
Spiderman
train 3

Most Helpful with Deck Advice:

EricBess
Hetemti
Istanbul 2
Mikeymike 3
Rakamir
train 3

Most Likely to be The Combo Freak

BigBlue 2
Capt. Caveman
EricBess
Istanbul 2
Killer Joe
Mr. Pestilence
Offline
Rakamir
Ransac
rkoelsch

Most Likely to be The Beatdown Guy

Azreal the Soulmaster
orgg
Rakamir
Reverend Love 2
TICM
train 5

Most Likely to be The Control Nut

BigBlue 2
Hetemti
Mikeymike
Rakamir
Rando
Rooser 2
train 3

Best Entrance

Chaos Turtle 2
Jiggylypuff
Mazzak
Ms. Ferret
orgg
Svenmonkey
train

 

[train]

Congratulations to Everyone!!!...

thank you all for your votes...

and just to let you know... I'm wearing clothes right now, but that doesn't mean they'll be on the next time I post!!!!!!......




Ferret - See you in about 6 weeks... if you can find a computer... Take Care!

 

[Notepad]

*unfreezes from the Sloppy Shuffle-induced coma*
*fails to notice the face painting on him, or the coats adorning his horns*
(horns...huh?...just another side-effect of reading Sloppy Shuffle)

I got four nominations? Cool! But, um...how in the world did I get nominated for Most Likely to Post While Naked??? I sorta understand that...but...dang man. I mean, its just WRONG to post naked. Now...judging a Pro Tour naked, so that you have to PAINT on the striped shirt...heh

Just saying...I'll shut up now.

 

[Nightstalkers]

Most Friendliest and Helpful:

EricBess
Hetemti
Nightstalkers
Spiderman 6
train 3

Friendly and helpful!!! BAH! I'm going to shove that goody freak into a box for a year if I can get away with it.

CPA Spammer:

Nightstalkers 10
Ransac
train 3

Can you believe we actually agreed to try for that award?

*Nick shoves the glowing john into a box full of edible packing pellets and attempts to seal that box in a cast of lead, but is thwarted when his fingers fall off and John escapes in a burst of blinding light.*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac finds it amazing that people actually voted for him this year, even with his lack of posting.*




Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Apollo]

Wait a second... I am a bird! I don't wear clothes ever! How could I possibly have lost to this lousy Train who talks about nothing but coats all day?

HELLO?!

 

[train]

It's actually been a while since I talked about "Coat"... but if you need some - slip me a PM...

"I didn't mean to stir things up... I prefer shaking..."

 

[Nightstalkers]

"And I prefer chicken to goat. Here birdy birdy birdy...."

*Stalks towards Apollo with a very large bird whacking mallet*

*confiscates Nick's mallet and teathers him to his floating chair*

"No attacking the guests Nick. Welcome back Apollo, long time no see. I'm John, the voice of the Nightstalkers, unlike Nick there, I'm the sensible one who was on before he sold his soul and I was trapped inside a bottle for a few months.

 

[Chaos Turtle]

Hehe.

Well done everyone. Congrats to the winners and a very big THANKS to my fan. Er, fans.

Due to my impending move (Tucson, be warned, I descend upon ya) I won't be back on for quite some time, but I have the fondest of memories of my e-friends here.

Until next time, CPA...

(not even one vote for "Most Likely to Post While Naked" huh? There's irony for you.)

 

[Nightstalkers]

Tucson? I did a tourney report a while back from outta there. If you'd just go in there and give us an up to date report, I would be greatly appreciated to your work.


—Nightstalker Exterra

 

[Spiderman]

Take care Chaos Turtle and see ya when you get back!

 

[nodnarb24]

*A large explosion occurs and blows up half of the warehouse (unless of course it has already been blown up, too lazy to read it all). Nodnarb24 comes staggering in through all the smoke, all dazed and confused, for it has been a long time away.

Oops, added a few too many sticks of dynamite.

Looks like I'm a little late for the party. I knew I shouldn't have taken that left after I got my yearly supplies of explosives.

Anybody want to fill me in on what has happened. As I said before, I'm too lazy to read all the back posts.

 

[Svenmonkey]

I don't think I could possibly capture the excitement of this year's CPA notables in one post. You'll have to read it all. If you're too lazy to read it all, hire someone to do it for you and maybe read it out loud to you.

 

[Nightstalkers]

I'm selling SeFRo if you wish him to read it for you. Or you could simply trade me a few tons of extradamentional material, and I'd be happy to hand over Habuki.

*reverses time and the warehouse reverts to its normal state, Spiderman walks upto the podium and begins his opening speech*

"I might have reversed too far...