CPA Notables 2003

[Spiderman]

Spiderman stood on the empty stage. Only 5 hours until showtime... and this place will be jumping. Right now, it was just a silent, darkened building.

This year the awards were being held a giant warehouse, all that the city would give to the CPA since the last awards? 2001 awards? theater blew up. They figured if something was going to go wrong again, might as well give them something that was expendable. All day yesterday was spent getting the place ready - lights, seats, the refreshment stand/bar, etc.

4 hours later, people started straggling in. To their surprise, a giant banner hung outside, giving notice of a special award given for Best Entrance, upon which everyone will vote after (obviously) everyone entered. Those who come late, well, that's what they get

Inside the warehouse, dance/party/techno/whatever jumping music was blaring. Lights flashed and the bartender stood ready to fill orders. It was going to be a great night.

 

[train]

The Heavens roared as a mighty Winds of Rath blew against the warehouse's Walls of Stone rocking it just a bit... A Lightning Bolt flashed and a Great light began to break through the clouds... The amount of light breaking through grew increasingly larger as the clouds parted and the Back in Black album could be heard playing in the background...

Angelic beings then drifted upon the walkway going into the warehouse, lining up on each side, Swords and(to) Plowshares of light raised over the walkway creating a sheltered walkway. They looked like Serra Angels, Archangels, and Exalted Angels... Commander Eesha and Radiant watched guard.

The beings stood perfectly still awaiting the arrival of something great... A Defense Grid suddenly appeared atop the warehouse making sure there were no interrupts to this great moment in time... Hundreds of Chalice Voids set to different CMCs stand at the base of the Defense grid if the grid fails...

At that moment a group of Nightmares pulled up a great War Chariot, contianing the Dementia Master himself - train. Also in the Chariot was an awards party entourage... Among them were B.F.M - who will be watching the awards once part of the roof is removed, Braids just to cause some trouble, Kamahl dressed in a half red, half green, tuxedo with Hanna on one of his arms and Mirri on the other - seems they forgot about Gerrard and Tahngarth, Ertai was wearing a sign apologizing for being a blue mage, and promising to promote the powers of all colors but blue, Mishra and Urza were now siamese twins as part of some twisted experiment gone wrong, and on train's arm was the Elvish Ranger, in all her glory... the look in her eyes of total dedication to train... Talking to train on his other side was Larry Nevin...

The party walked through the Angel barricade and into the awards ceremony... as train passed everyone could see he wears a null brooch, just in case anything needed to be taken care of...

As the party went inside, the angels followed in behind them, still straight-faced and solemn to their being Angels of Duty...

Let the Awards begin...

Note the new subtitle...

Is Zephyr in attendance spidey?... This would be her first full awards!...

 

[Spiderman]

* Nope, past her bedtime. But we're taping it for her to watch later *

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

*A rift opens up from the realm of perpetual twilight, and out steps Azreal, decked out in full armor and cloak. Nez'er'rak belted safely to his side, Azreal closes the rift and with an explosion of dark flame, he teleports to his seat, now a throne compossed of free-flowing blood(AB-, of course)

"another year another party"

* Azreal lifts his glass of red wine in toast to Spidey's hosting abilities

 

[Apollo]

*At the peak of Train's grand entrance, a big glob of bird poop lands squarely on the top of his head. With a satisfied "squawk!" Apollo flies to his customary spot in the rafters to enjoy the proceedings.

 

[DÛke]

...

<DÛke comes in very casually, very normally, notices the drama that is train, and laughs his butt off.>

You know what's missing, train?

No, no - not copper or silver or iron or whatever the F type of poll you hand men on their birthdays.

Hmmm...

<Hands train the one thing missing: a Rod of Ruins>

There, now you can play with yourself a little better...just be sure you don't go overboard with it, alright?

 

[Nightstalkers]

*The CPA's Nightstalkers Midnight, Anu-Oobist, Thanatos, Meng-Po-Niang, and Balor all appear from the shadows cast just behind the drapes and sit in their customary balcony seating while awaiting their payoff of coffee and a bagel*

While everyone is entering the long unused warehouse Nick stalks around the back and draws a pentagram along the alleyway, chanting while he works towards his unholy goal....


*An unnatural voice erupts from the shadows and drowns out the slight sound of chanting slowly rising outside*

Come on dogs, we can cut this party up!

*The walls begin to bleed as the chanting rises to a slight rumbling inside the warehouse. And the assembled Nightstalkers clutch to them tiny talismans to their chests*

 

[Svenmonkey]

*Svenmonkey walks in and sits down like a good lad.*

 

[Ferret]

Glass from a skylight above shatters raining glass on everyone below!

Sorry about the cuts - I brought bactine!

A rope decends through the opening and Ferret starts to glide down

*SNAP!*

the rope breaks and Ferret plummets to the ground

-Ferret

"ow"

 

[Ms. Ferret]

Ms. Ferret enters on the heels of Ferret's agile entrance, picking glass shards out of her cleavage.

Wanders over to the punch bowl, sniffs, whips out her trusty flask. Any takers?

"Just happy to be here"

 

[Mazzak]

A thunderous creak like the death of a thousand steel girders sounds outside the warehouse, and any starlight that had been pouring in from the gaping holes in the ceiling is blotted out.
A whistle akin to a dropping bomb is heard, and a metallic object thuds into the floor from an indeterminate height.
It starts moving.

"Buggar! Buggar! Buggar! Buggar and poo-biscuits! Note to self: better shock absorbers!"

The form straightens up, revealing itself to be a... well... thing covered in metal. It extends what could pass for a hand towards a convenient corner, where an obsidian spike proceeds to emerge from the ground and develop itself into a nest-like formation at its peak. The metal thing's "arm" clinks slightly, as if one finger had been moved underneath it, and the nest fills up with poofy black velvet pillows. Another clink and a basalt mannequin bursts forth from the ground and ascends on a pillar until its base is level with the nest. The metallic being shambles up to the base of the mannequin, and deploys the plumage.
The copper wings appear from the recesses of the being's layered chainmail and inexplicable plates, tossing aside a few spare steel rings. The rings never make it to the ground, however, as the being immediately summons them all back into its carapace.
The wings don't even flap as the being ascends. It perches shakily on the edge of its nest, and then tosses out a grappling hook to the other side of the nest and shrugs off its massive armored shell, placing it on the mannequin nimbly as if the stuff weighed nothing.
It is a short, skinny, gnomelike humanoid creature, with bits of its skin ridiculously pale and other bits smeared with various metallic residues. Its hair is long and white and terribly unkempt. it is holding a small black kitten.

"Heh heh."

There is a slight hum to the air all of a sudden, and the being's hair turns black. His skin cleans itself off, and his tattered black rags repair themselves to their former glory as stylish silk and soft leather.
Mazzak and his kitten topple down onto the pile of velvet pillows.
Mazzak sits up so that he has a view of the stage.
The kitten purrs, and watches Apollo intently.

"Excellent. Atmosphere for all, and even a birdie for little Topaz. This music could do with some jazzing-up, however."

<the techno music is suddenly accompanied by the harmonious voice of an Anvil Xylophone, played by none other than Sir Patrick Moore.>

Mazzak leans his head back and scratches behind Topaz's ears.

"Heh heh. Quality."

 

[Svenmonkey]

Well aren't you Mr. Dramatic.

 

[Spiderman]

Spiderman surveyed the... assembly-that-is-not-quite-a-crowd from the stage. Only nine attendees? Maybe the others are trying to be fashionably late.... hmm...

"Greetings everyone! Welcome to the 2003 CPA Notable Awards! Due to the limited time one of our members, Ferret has with us, we'll be trying to speed the awards along by offering 2 a day!

Oh yes, and we'll be voting for Best Entrance around the middle of the awards, so be prepared....

First up is Fairest Trader! Always willing to give you the benefit of the deal at the expense of his own, yet still getting the cards he needs, and taking the title away from Mikeymike last year, let's give a hand to TRAIN! C'mon up and get your prize, which is your current Want List filled

Next, though the forum has lain dormant for most of the year, it has spurts of creativity shining through. Keeping his title from last year, the winner for Best Homemade Card Designer is FoR! You get a card of your choice designed within the past year top be included in a future WOTC set!

 

[Izaryo]

*the shadows grow larger and darker. out of the shadows come a dozen of ghostly ronin warriors clad in black and white robes, their katanas shining in the spotlights. the ghost gather into around a chair and materialize into single ronin. he sheathes his sword, knocks his japanese straw hat up and makes a simple gesture..*


*a storm of cherry blossoms swirl around the hall as a stunningly beatiful japanese woman appears from a magic portal. she is wearing a traditional, pink flower-adorned kimono and has angel wings. she sits next to the ronin who rises up*

*the ronin is chanting a spell and suddenly his robes start to flash with different kanji, and a group of demon samurai appears around the pair. Finally the ronin releases all his power and a great katana apears from the ground. the warrior grasps the scabbard and attaches it to his belt. He takes of his hat and bows "sorry i'm late"*


Izaryo has enterd the notables!

 

[train]

"I can't, I can't believe it!!!"...

*train jumps out of his seat and goes to accept his prize... on the way there he gratefully thanks Apollo for the accessory to his ensemble... then looks over his shoulder and with a wink to Ertai... Apollo turns into a Poultrygeist!...*

"Wonder if it tastes like Chicken... okay Ertai - that's good..."

*Apollo is suddenly turned back into his normal feathered self... grateful but pride still wondering what just happened... train walks up on stage and begins accepting the award...*

"I'd like to thank WoTC for creating cardboard crack, my fellow stooges for getting me addicted... and Almindhra... ever since she hit on me last year, I've had the confidence to do as I please... I am a cardboard crack magnet! That's probably why I trade so much... Thanks Again everyone..."

*As train heads back to his seat he winks at Apollo and then points to a Notables guest arriving in the back - The Colonel...*

I really would like to thank everyone that I traded with in the last year or so... It means a lot to me that you all are helping me complete my sets

 

[Izaryo]

*claps hands* congrats train...

*you saw a lot of effort with your entrance*

 

[train]

Thanks Izaryo!(would like to trade with you sometime...)... the entrance took a little work... exhausted me...

Congrats FoR!!!...

 

[Nightstalkers]

*The warehouse shimmers and dissapears, left behind is a dark amorphous dark fog which nothing seems to be able to pass through except the CPA's attendee's... and the city is plunged into darkness as light is diverted away from the town by some form of dark magic*

*the walls resume their cheerful pallor and the room fills with thousands of angelic voices as the lights begin to radiate a pure holy eminence and the shadows are laid bare for all to see. The Nightstalkers meld into one and dissappear into nothingness and one shimmering figure floats above the assembled crowd. As the onlookers are amazed at the spectacle of brilliance and angelic choir which seems to come from all about the newly formed reality,[color=600060] a darkness creeps from the opposite side of the room. Countless agonizing voices of anarchy, despair, and dread accompany the angelic chorus as the shadows engulf half of the brightness which swallowed up the room.[/color]

As the assembled audience looks on in expectant intrigue, a being of pure darkness and despair emerges from nonentity and sits in a grand throne made from the skulls of unwitting fools and held together with the shreads of greedy mens souls.

The resplended figure bathed in the light summons a pure ivory seat inlaid with silver, gold, and diamonds the size of an average mans fist. Then both chorus' of unspeakable dirges and eloquent symphonies trail off and leave the room in pure silence as the two figures stare darkly into each others burning eyes.

"Hello John, it is a pleasure to meet you, hopefully this time it will not end in the destruction of no more than a city block." the resplendant figure bathed in light spoke in a wisened tone which seemed to be projected to every corner of the world, let alone the room.

"We will see Nick." the unholy being clothed in darkness replied. "Let us end this charade and enjoy ourselves before we think about finally destroying one another."

And with those words a thunderclap sounded within the walls of the void and both the darkness and the holy radiance dispersed to reveal the warehouse transformed into a grandeous palace. One side created to reflect the benevolence and purity of heart with row upon row of buffet tables filled with mild wines and food from around the world, the other, a more sinister dirge reflecting decay and destruction in every decanter and tray, yet still had the same buffet tables as the more well-meaning half of the hall but with different foods still.

"[color=royal blue]Eat up, be merry, and enjoy this time of joyous occasion[/color]" Was the last heard from the two equally powerful looking figures said before a rumble of voices from the shadows as well as the light proclaimed "WE ARE THE NIGHTSTALKERS!"

Good job Train, knew you'd be chosen for the title.

 

[orgg]

A large low-end rumble begins shaking the warehouse, and a large amount of the chairs about two-thirds of the way up the audience begins to shake and crumble. All sitting there flee to an area of more tectonic stability, excepting a single Nightstalker. Around the area in a twenty foot oblong, long, large teeth begin to emerge around the parameter. *CRUNCH!* The giant maw snaps shut, with a huge, googly eyed head peering through the hole. The Megatog reaches down, and thrusts into the ground along the stage a network of Bamboo, laqured wood, and thatched setup with wires permiating it around the stage opening. Several cables run back into the hole, excepting three hanging down in front of the podium that terminate in large black oblongs. The Mega Atog once again lowers into the cavern, and then a woven riser begins to, err... rise from the hole. Upon it is a table and a chair. Upon the table is a laptop computer, a small rack of gear, and a Digi 002 (Table version). Upon the chair sits The Orgg, his lower hands upon the laptop and one of his larger hands poised to mix on the 002.

Hi, Ya'll. How dy'a like my new pet? It seems the Atogs now get confused when they see Concrete and mortar now, so I just figured I'd come right in after setting up.

I'm here for the show, and I'll be doing Front of House for the band I hired. They're not that bad right now, though they need some time to improve before they get a bigtime record deal. I just hope they don't leave when they see the audience, as I've heard Manplanet can be somewhat skittish when they don't know the place they're playing.

*wheels are heard in the distance squeealing away quite fast.

Alright, ya'll! Let's get started!
Crap. y'already started. It seems that I'm still about an hour ahead from when I went to Full Sail. Dammit. OR as Spidy'll make me say, Oink it.

 

[EricBess]

Quiet, distant voices are heard as train begins to haul off the piles and piles of cards from his wish list that he received for his prize.

"Hello?" "What's wrong with this thing?" "Been acting up all week"

After a moment's rustling, a small figure, not much bigger than an beetle, runs out from underneith the stack of cards.

"Kryton, get back here... What is this? A giant magic card? This stupid thing was suppose to put us at the portal to the warehouse, not the planar portal card. I realy need to get that checked. Now if I just tweek..."

Suddenly, there is a whoosh of outboud air as Eric, his wife, and 4 of his five children are standing where train's cards used to be. The cards themselves are flying everywhere. Eric is banging his hand against his customary remote control, which is smaller, but with more buttons and knobs than last year's model.

"There you are Kryton", Eric gathers up his final child from the stage where he was climbing onto the podium and he and his family take their seats in the front row.

"Sorry about that Spidey, carry on."