CPA Notables 2001

M

Multani

Guest
Congrats to(Takes deep breath) Whimsey, Griffith_se, Spidey, John'O and FoR! Really happy for ya guys...now if only I can win one too, this'll be the perfect award show...

Now to take care of some business...
*Multani oozes sap to put out the raging fires on him and his friends, then proceeds to hunt down however sprayed fire and and bullets at him. Everyone points at Fuzzy and CAMDEX. Multani walks over and kindly says:

"Stupid fuzzy...don't you know I have no blood! It's sap you little furball! And you Army boy! Put away your toys or I'm gonna beat you down! Now stop being rude and watch the show!

*Multani goes on to play baseball with Fuzzy. Die!!! Fuzzy mysteriously exits the theater.

Again, congrats to the winners! :D
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
What? Multani gives no congrats to me?


*Ransac makes a triumphant retreat so he can cry.*



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
C

CAMDEX

Guest
It takes so long beween awards, i get kinda bored, so... :(

Hey, I thought you were dead!

I'm also frustrated, because I wanna win an award...

Gee, THANKS everybody!

*storms out of the theater*
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...down with all the whiners...;)

The best-card maker award is hot. I wanted it!

<Whine>

<Whine>

<Whine>

Actually, FoR deserves it. :)
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
What a busy day today....

Another large box is moved out onto the stage. People cran their necks; is it more Magic cards? A bomb? A stripper (one of each gender for the audience)? The crowd waits with bated breath.

"This next award goes to that someone who'd just so brilliant that people read his posts 'cause they know what that person is gonna say is important and worthwhile :) And it's a repeat; apparently that person didn't get any dumber (or maybe they did but everyone else had a steeper decline? ;) ) So this year's Most Intelligent award, once again, goes to CHAOS TURTLE!"

The box is ripped away to show a.... gigantic brain? Say what? Wait a sec... it's actually a box itself. Inside of that are various skill games, fun for the whole family and party!
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac asks CT a question, then returns to his seat. Ransac then clutches his two awards that he won and starts rocking back and forth.*


I wanna win another one. I wanna win another one.


Ransac, cpa trash man


P.S. I wanna win another one.
 
A

Almindhra

Guest
listens to CAMDEX and watches Ransac...She mutters to her chauffer, Luke...Jeez, some people are so greedy...points to CAMDEX...And I don't even know who that nutzo is...

Luke nods his head in agreement...
 
E

EricBess

Guest
Well, CT. Congratulations, for what it's worth. Just remember that, by definition, the people voting you in were dumber than you are, so I'm not really sure how much of a victory it is... ;)
 
C

CAMDEX

Guest
I just have a slightly skewed outlook on life, that's all... :D

At least, that's what the voices in my head tell me... :D :D
 
C

Chaos Turtle

Guest
Chaos Turtle is not in the auditorium, having been magically whisked away toPrince RXI's birthday party.

...

Suddenly the entrance doors burst open, and Mr. Tumnus barges in. "He's coming!" Everyone takes a point of damage, then through the doorway whisks everyone's favorite... uhm, something... zipping along at a heady 17 miles per hour on his Segway Human Transporter, weaving slightly due to being drunk on too much Sprite.

Making his way to the stage, he is waylaid by Ransac,who insists on asking a question. "Only when I pay attention!" shouts CT, before dashing to the stage.

Oh!

You like me! You really like me!

I'd like to thank all those who voted for me. Your cards are in the mail.

I'd also like to thank Proctor and Gamble, for all their fine cleaning products; Camel cigarettes, for trying to kill me (no more! I tell you, no more! 21 days til nicotine freedom!); Edgar Allen Poe, for all those childhood nightmares; Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, Natalie Portman, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Renée Zellweger, for being beautiful; Edward Norton, Matt Damon, and Ewan McGregor, for being hot; and...

Chaos Turtle goes on and on, until everyone is sound asleep, including him.
 
T

terzarima

Guest
"Give me my socks back you goat bastard"

(Note: If any one can tell me where that's from, you earn my undying respect, and a cany bar)

Congrats CT!!
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
After that nice long nap induced by Chaos Turtle's acceptance speech, we're ready to move on. :)

"This next award goes to that someone who can eloquently put his/her thoughts on paper (or the computer, as the case may be). They must be funny, witty, original, and just plain fun to read. For a new category this year and our first double win, this year's Best CPA Writer award goes to RANDO and ZADOK!"

Two lumpy packages are brought out. Bounding on stage, the two eagerly rip open their prizes to reveal.... a typewriter?!?!

"Sorry, they've been collecting dust and we just need to get rid of them" says Spiderman apologetically.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac notices that Zadok001 now has two awards, just like him.*

Uh-oh. He must be dealt with.

*Ransac thinks for a second, then a broken light bulb appears over his head. Ransac then places a nickel on Zadok001's seat.*

This plan is perfect.

*Zadok001 is about to sit down when he notices the nickel. Zadok001 picks it up and puts it into his pocket.*

Zadok: Exactly how much more I needed for the vending machine.

Ransac: Curses! Foiled again!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Z

Zadok001

Guest
Oooh! I get a typewriter! Umm... What am I going to DO with it? I thought that was what the big fat computer was for. Oh, well. Maybe I look at it as a trophy or somesuch. Frame it. No, it's three-dimensional. I don't suppose you can "box" trophies like you "frame" diplomas, can you?

Danke though! :) (*goes off to finally write another article*)
 
F

fuzzy510

Guest
You know I'm here for ya, right pal?

*Fuzzy winks, and shows Ransac his gun arsenal, then points at Zadok.
 
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