CPA Notables 2001

A

Apollo

Guest
*Wiping tears from his eyes*

I know you're thrilled to have won the award, but Ransac has won 2, and he's managed to restrain himself...
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
Hey, this is a "light" type thing. You know, press the button, previously dark lights come on (like a planaterium, or like how Rainforest Cafe does their shooting stars overhead).

You guys are dirty :p
 
T

terzarima

Guest
Random passerby: So this is what goes on in Bill Gate's head

Ba dum (Cymbal crash)
 
C

Chaos Turtle

Guest
Go Spidey!

Maybe next year someone will have a better sig line. :p
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
After carefully draping my prize back with its protective shroud, I send it off-stage. The CPA is just dirty, dirty, dirty! :p

Two envelopes are then handed to Spidey. Everyone cranes their neck and looks at each other. "What's this?" "Is that the prize? "

"The next award goes to that dedicated someone who plays Magic trying to be the best of the best. Perhaps that someone spends many sleepless nights testing out decks, or just grabs one-to-go but has the good fortune to play well during the day. Trying to seek out the next underrated card to keep ahead of the tech, or tweaks existing decks to beat the current ones. This person might be able to switch between those modes depending on the situation. Last year it was Gizmo, this year's Most Likely to Win the Pro Tour goes to JOHN O'!"

As he comes up on stage, the second envelope is handed to him. Opening it, he exclaims, "It's a lifetime invite to all Pro events!"

Spidey says, "That's right, now you don't have to worry about qualifying or maintaining your ratings. Just get out there and play!"
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*As Ransac is about to ask John O' a question, he notices that the invite is made out of toilet paper.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Unfortunately, I can't e-mail John'. I can't PM him either, so I'll just wait until the end of this Award ceremony to ask him a question.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
C

CAMDEX

Guest
Sorry, but I was busy...

*Camdex walks in, with his standard M16 rifle and Minigun*

The cops actually thought i didn't have a permit for these things!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Sits down in the back, where he takes careful aim and Spidey*

Can't...control...yourself...ladies...present...

*fires a single shot right at Spidey's head*

BANG!
 
R

rkoelsch

Guest
I think some people have been playing a little too much Doom.
 
C

CAMDEX

Guest
Its just that I ALWAYS have these with me...
*shows weapons*

I kill mice, snakes, whatever... I am the OFFICIAL STUFF EXTERMINATOR OF THE CPA!!!

Yeah, that sounds good!
 
F

fuzzy510

Guest
I promised I wouldn't do this, but I think it's best for everyone here.

*Fuzzy shoots CAMDEX in the back of the head at close range. Fuzzy then lights fire to CAMDEX's corpse, watching it burn.

Now I'll stop. Promise. :D
 
E

EricBess

Guest
I suppose that was called for.

John O, be careful with that letter. It's pouring outside and you know how well toilet paper holds up.

Speaking of which, whose job was it to keep the restroom stocked. You'd think that it were round 8 of a major tournament. There's just none there. Hope nobody's having any stomach problems today...
 
I

Istanbul

Guest
Istanbul shows up with a metric tonne of toilet paper, deodorant, snack foods, Mountain dew, and other supplies.

I'm a seasoned convention-goer. I know what it takes to survive one of these with your health and sanity intact. (Okay, your health, anyway.)

Istanbul distributes the stuff amongst the attendees. In the case of the deodorant, sometimes forcibly.
 
T

theorgg

Guest
:mad: I don't WANT that stick of Deoderant! Get that stick away from me! You know EXACTLY where you cans stick that Deoderant stick, don't you? GET IT AWAY!!

Aaah!
*theorgg bites half the deoderant container off and spits it tward the stage
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
"Well so far all the awards have seemed to fit their winner, I simply can't wait for the most likely to post naked award"

*200lbs of toilet paper fall off Istanbul's stack and crush Azreal
 
A

Almindhra

Guest
hands out little bottles of cologne....Please use them!!...You're all really, well, whens the last time you've all had a bath???.........
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
I didn't know it was getting so smelly in here... I guess my mask filters it out. And shouldn't that be water, Almindhra? It's cheaper... :)

Pandemonium ensues as Almindhra and Istanbul forcibly try to enforce their hygiene standards on everyone, while they try to grab for the food or rush to the restroom or whatever. A bunch of Almindhra's bottles break in a section, spewing out a fragrant cloud that is almost visible, which drives everyone away in search of cleaner air.

"All right people! The next award goes to that someone who might make you feel special with their banter, that might make you feel all tingly inside. Or one that goes around making people, especially newcomers, very welcome. Last year it was DUke but this year's CPA Flirt award goes to Whimsical!

Whimsy, Whimsy, are you here?"

Spidey tries to peer in the dim light and the "fogginess" caused by the cologne cloud.
 
C

CAMDEX

Guest
THAT'S IT! FUZZY, YOU IS GOIN' DOWN!

*loads up the M16 and begins blasting into the foggy cloud of cologne*

I'LL GET YOU EVENTUALLY! *continues firing*
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
It's a good thing MrXarvox is a purely ethereal being. Otherwise, he would be offended by the noxious cologne fumes.

<Xarvox saunters up to CAMDEX and hits him over the head with a paper towel roll, then returns to his pile of black velvet pillows and goes to sleep.>

Wake me when I get my "Prettiest CPA Member" award!

<Knowing the CPA too well, Xarv sleeps with one eye open. Literally. His cornea dries out and he has to replace it.>

OW! So much for sleeping. I'll just sit here then.
 
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