CPA Battle: Revival of old quirks and creation of new quirks

[Shiro, Time Devourer]

Scion shrugs off the purple flame and grabs the warhammer.

Seeing all the mystical h00h@h going on, We say 'I have no use for such practices.' We immediately trample through all outside spirits, including LoreLaDier. We also bonk RXI w/ the hammer and say:

Nightstalkers, you're safe and so is your BFM. Wanna go after RXI and finish the job w/ me?

Spirit Guardians, pffft.

As for all the teleporting crap that Ransac talked about:

JUDGE!

 

[Mazzak]

Mazzak's eyes begin to shine reddish.

"Hmmm... dragon... equals worm... equals snake..."

<Translation time out: "Mazzak" means "Mongoose">

Mazzak circles the dragon about fifty times in a split second, and his path seems to form a cage of shadows around it. Then the dragon's head comes off.

"It is amusing how much this battle can find connection to Mazzaki lore. First I get to use Ondezh on manifestations of both light and darkness, and then we find amazing parallels between this segment and the allegorical fable of the Mongoose and the Jewel. Interesting. Although, mind you, the mongoose killed the snake because it thought its eyes were gemstones."

<To complete the story, Mazzak makes armor for himself out of the dragon's bones, stores up the dragon's meat for future consumption, and makes a majestic armored cloak out of the dragon's skin. In approximately a nanosecond.>

"Haha! I dare someone to show me a mirror!"

<Mazzak is now even more stylin' now, in his dragonbone armor (scorched black for aesthetic, which it is ALL ABOUT) and dragonskin cloak>

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

*Theodoric bursts out of the dragon's stomach(he's a gnome, crafty critters they be), and immediately assists his Lord by breaking the enchantment, allowing Azreal to regenerate his arm in full demonic fashion.


*Meanwhile, the Scion crashes through the arena floor.

"Only a gnome can hold an 800lb black marble warhammer. Their 18 inch frames combined with a low center of gravity allow them to perfectly balance the weight."

*Azreal spreads his glorious ebony wings. A feeling of calm and serenity fills the combatants as they imagine themselves embraced in twilight (all except Mazzak, as an early ally in arena battles Azreal could not possibly do his friend harm)

*While RXI is temporarily stunned, Azreal swoops in and delivers the prince a " I know you not talkin' 'bout my mama" pimp slap across the arena

 

[WickedBoy6]

*Feeling eerily calm, he smiles, just sitting down on the ground of the battlegrounds, eating chips. Once the calm had washed over him, he summoned an army of chipatog bretheren. This was merely a distraction, as his fellow 'togs were used to be sacrificed to the biggest non-unglued summon in all Magic lore: the Phyrexian Dreadnought. Being summoned by sacrificed chipatogs, it also has a hunger for cheesy cornchips...this will come into play later.*

 

[Nightstalkers]

Secret Weapon: Tick Tock Tock Tock Crank Clatter Crank Sputter Zoink!!!

"Um... Don't even touch that thing, we'll eventually stop it. If we can."

Seccet Leepon: **** Tock Pock Bonk Honk Clatter Ching Ping Zut Bung Wee Lee Voom

Crest Pewoan: CRACK!!!

"TAKE COVER!!!!"

*Wopan Sceest explodes letting off its many technological and magical abnormalities*

{[All spells become unstable, all creatures are now rampaging, monsters from other worlds are materializing on the plane.]}

"We wonder if the warantee is still good" *Gulp*

*Battle Ox takes a swing at B.F.M.*
*Phrup attacks RXI*
*Serious Sam pulls out his minicannon and starts to mow down Nightstalkers*

 

[Prince RXI]

*LoreLaDier flows back together and smiles*

LoreLaDier: "Thou dost jest! Thou thought thy could defeat my being??? I am parted energy from every thing that dost live! I am energy in the purest form cometh! ... This doth bore me so... Fair well, weakest of mortals."

*LoreLaDier returns to RXI and turns back into the amulet. RXI put the amulet back on.*

"I had forgotten how annoying he could be. Sorry."

*RXI takes out the Neu-Blade and with one swing of the blade, his chainmail-full plate armor materializes on him.*

"Let's get this party started to a brand new beat!"





Prince RXI, LLD is a real jerk, no?

 

[Mazzak]

Mazzak says in the godly voice that cannot be resisted:

Someone bring me a mirror.

Everyone brings Mazzak every mirror they can find, in the hopes that theirs will be the one he will choose.

Mazzak selects one from RXI.

"One thing silver-obsessed kids are good for: high-quality mirrors."

Mazzak looks into the mirror and in accordance with the Fable, reaches in and pulls out the ruby that he just noticed.

Silence fills the area as Mazzak places the ruby into his dragonbone choker, and vanishes, leaving a single word on the wind.

"Zhyanno..."

 

[Apollo]

*Apollo flies up and perches on WickedBoy's shoulder, munching on a couple chips and chirping contentedly.

 

[Nightstalkers]

*Sythian Witch Harpies attack Apollo*

(Steals Serious Sams Chaingun and mows his face into mulch.)

"MUSTARD ANYONE!!!"

*Portals open up releasing deadly attocities from Spellfire.*

"Holely Shameful Crackers!!!"

(Runs away with really big chaingun)

 

[Prince RXI]

*RXI shoots a bolt of lightning out of the NEU-Blade and strikes all of the creatures, exept Apollo, Nightstalkers talked about... reducing them to cinders alone with giving NSs very staticy looking hair.*

"Try that on for size, creatures of the darkest *@(#!!!"





Prince RXI, sizzle, sizzle, spark, spark... BOOM!!!!!!

 

[Apollo]

*Apollo screams in horror at the site of the witch-harpies... then has a pile of ash fall on his head. Shaking violently, he tosses it all away and laments his ruined chips.

You shall pay for ruining my Doritos, vile Stalker of the Night!

(Thanks RXI!)

 

[Nightstalkers]

*Drops ebay bought Dorittos on Apollo*

Lets see if the reality can be saved here...

*Escert Weapon explodes, shifting everything out of phase*

We could have a little problem if that thing keeps exploding

*Apollo's toaster strudel turns into a rat*
*Mazzak's hat electrocutes him*
*Nightstalkers belt scalds them*
*Azreal's medallion catches on fire and melts*

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

*Azreal is befuddled, as he had no such medallion to begin with.

"oh well, guess I have a new target. This will teach you to melt my non-existent medallion!"

*Azreal takes out Nez'er'rak and chases Nightstalkers, while shouting strange British obcenities

 

[Mazzak]

Ouch! My hat!

(it's funny; in reality I actually do wear a hat adorned with copper wire and chain...very conductive)


A black hat comes flying out of the sky, folowed by the shadowy figure of Mazzak, and another figure that is distinctly female, and clad in similar armor to Mazzak's.

Mazzak: Ach, can you believe this, Zhy? My own hat...
<Mazzak shifts the reality bubble of his hat back into place>
Much better...

Zhyanno: Ok. So why did you bring me here again? Just looks like a bunch of guys pretendign they are monsters and beating each other with various objects.

Mazzak: It's the CPA, beloved. We're all mad here.

Zhyanno: Really.

Mazzak: Madder than the maddest mad kid.

Zhyanno: In which case I may as well contribute.

Mazzak: That'd be interesting.

<Zhyanno releases the tiger, eats a sandwich, and then pulls out her blade, which resembles Mazzak's but is studded with amethyst instead of ruby>

Zhy: Coming, Mazz?

Mazzak: Indeed.

The pair walk nonchalantly into the fray, hand in hand; blades in their unoccupied hands.


**Shifty things we gods are. One minute a shadow, one minute a fighter, one minute a lover. What comes next?**

 

[Prince RXI]

**Mazzak, I couldn't agree more. We Gods sure are flighty, though I'm not a complete god, more of I am the 11th desendant of one.**

*RXI, beginning to understand Mazzak a little more than before, desides to turn his attention to someone he doesn't really have anything in common with... ruling out Apollo, Azreal, and Ransac... RXI sends a blast of pure energy coursing through NightStalkers's bodies, causing him to convulse in a mad fit of short-circuiting nerves and snapyses.*





Prince RXI, bows infront of the lovely Zhyanno...

 

[Gerode]

*off in the distance, a pod of whales spontaneously explodes, sending massive chunks of blubber flying into the battlefield at high speeds*

 

[WickedBoy6]

"Oh, you have done it now, Stalker of Night..."

*With Apollo on his shoulder, the eBay chips nearby only fuel the Dorito-hungry Dreadnought unleashed onto the field not long ago. Attaching a cereal-box-sized Zephid's Embrace on the beast, it soon takes flight, immune to targeting effects, and, now on a cheese-rush, begins mugging Nightstalker for more Doritos*

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

*Forgetting what he was doing, Azreal spreads his wings and flys up to a nearby perch, where he summons the infamous throne of free-flowing blood with which to sit on.

"Yawn, perhaps I'll just take in the sights"

*Theodoric, Black marble warhammer in tow, joins his master

 

[Nightstalkers]

Hazzad math berthiz. Krill vach mahen shou, voot mahami lou mal. Sera man crit va krill. vach shou matten ball!!!

(Floating above dead bodies of nightstalkers)

Supreme: Hmm... just what to expect. *Sigh* To only be rid of the godly justice of death, destruction, and pain.

(Slowly drops to the ground)

Supreme: Why should such pitiful creatures deserve such a death? Killing is all fun and games when nothing is really destroyed.

(It grows dark and an awful prescense fills the world)
(Supreme shouts a gutteral cry that pierces every soul on the planet with such force that even the gods cry out in sorrow)

Supreme: Nightstalkers! to me!!!

(The millions of creatures that are the Nightstalkers rise up from their resting places. shedding off their husks, revealing new and refreshed bodies.)

Supreme: YOU WILL OBEY ME! Come Legions, we have another battle to attend to.

(The lone figure of the Supreme suddenly vanishes and the millions of replenished Nightstalkers look towards their former combatants)

Nightstalker Herald: We shall be back... until then we will leave you with another one of these.

(Nightstalkers drop unstable secret weapon to destroy everyone and simply vanish without a trace.)

 

[Prince RXI]

"Foul ones!"

*RXI summons forth the Armored suit he used way back in the mech battle thread... MOBILE!*

"Now, Mobile, to use your portal generator to remove that weapon and send it to Holkobin, New Jersey!!"

*RXI presses the button that activates the portal generator to send the weapon to Holkobin, New Jersey... and many of the Holkonbin, New Jersey civilians die this day*





Prince RXI, Very desolet place