Corrupted Wishes game

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! A meteor lands on you instead.

I wish that woodchucks really could chuck wood.

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
M

Melkor

Well-known member
Unfortunately, we learn exactly how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, and it disappoints everyone.

I wish Ransac would disappoint everyone.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted. I never post on the site again. Everyone is extremely disappointed to the point where they sacrifice someone (you) to try to make things better.

I wish that Melkor would exceed expectations


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
B

BigBlue

Guest
Granted. Melkor exceeds everyone's expactation to simply flame you on this site. He ACTUALLY flames you, setting fire to your skin which melts in a fashion similar to the opening of the Ark of the Covenant scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I wish I had more time to goof off, anymore I'm just too busy.
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You have two months to live. No one's going to dare to stop you from spending this time goofing off. So feel free to.

I wish Ransac would join the 5,000 club.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! I join the 5,000 post club.... and the 6,000 club..... and the 7,000..... in fact, I crack 10,000 instantaneously when Spidey decides to punish you for your shenanigans by taking all of your posts and attributing them to my post count. You mourn the fact loss of your post count and attempt to end your life bia harikiri... however, you miss the crucial organs and languish in pain when a bull moose begins to mount your convulsing body. After 15 hours of moose-humping activity, a meteor lands on you.


I wish for just a few, like 10, more active members on the CPA.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
GRANTED! However, I don't don't what that word means and so I sub-in "Genesis" and now your at the beginning of your life again!

I wish I had clean pants!
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted. However, they're the only part of clothing you wear that's clean..... and then a meteor lands on you.


I wish that the meteors could talk


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
Granted! However my eyes were watery at the time I read your wish and I thought it said "THONG" instead of thing. I hope you like pink :D

I wish a meteor the size of a peanut would land on Ransac's head and mate with it!
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! From now on, Ransac-Meteors land on people. However, they're alive and they eventually take over the world. You are their first victim when they capture you and shoot you into the SPHINCTER OF DOOM!!!!!!!!


I wish for cheese....... again.....again


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You face me in the singleton draft and I get particularly lucky with two first-turn kills in a row.

I wish for water.
 
B

BigBlue

Guest
Granted. You are instantly transported across the country to the drenched East Coast. You are basking in your water until you realize the water is very deep, you see a rescue raft floating by, but they stop to pick up Ransac who takes the last space in the raft. They tell you to wait, the next raft will be just a bit longer... That's your last memory as you drown 3 hours later without a raft appearing.

I wish I knew which of the nominations for the latest CCHOF induction were most worthy. I like almost all of them, making this a tough decision.
 
M

Melkor

Well-known member
Granted. You gain perfect knowledge of the worthiness of all the CCHOF nominees, however, such knowledge attracts the numerous international criminal syndicates that deal in such knowledge, and of course you are eliminated in order to maintain their monopoly on Magic: The Gathering information.

I wish that international crime syndicates did not control all Magic: The Gathering Knowledge.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! Now I do. The next 16 sets involve themes of flatulence, cheese, and opera. Out of frustration, you quit the game of Magic.... when a Ransac-Meteor lands on you... then takes your wallet.

I wish that Melkor's wish came true exactly how I said it would


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
D

DarthFerret

Guest
Granted: Two days after Melkor bursts apart from you meteor, your announced intentions for the next 16 sets causes the company to go bankrupt. After the lawyers have had their fill, you are pummeled to death my a throng of disgruntled Magic Players.

I wish I knew what wish could not be corrupted!
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! You wish continuously..... they just don't come true.


I wish for more wishes that came true


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
B

BigBlue

Guest
That wish cannot be granted, for if it did, every atom in existence would simultaneously explode into a fiery mess known as the next big bang - and nobody wants that.

I wish Stephen Hawking would corroborate that.
 
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