Corrupted Wishes game

[DarthFerret]

Your wish is granted, and you now have a 40 pound watermelon in your colon.

I wish for a pay raise!

 

[Ransac]

Granted! Minimum Wage is raised a penny..... and inflation means that you're technically making less.


I wish that I didn't have to be reminded that I have to share the "Naked" award with DarthFerret and Nightstalkers.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted, you are suddenly found to be in violation of the steriod use policy for posting, and all of your CPA notable awards are revoked.

I wish the Astros would have beaten the Pirates in thier season opener..

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. They smacked the Pirates around with wet noodles for a few minutes until one of the Pirates went crazy and gunned them all down.

I wish someone would gun me down.

 

[Killer Joe]

Granted! But somehow an elderly person mis-read the word "gun" for "GUM" and knawed you to near death.

I wish,....that's it,...I just wish.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! You wish are hard as you possibly can! So hard, in fact, that you blow out your colon. And what's worse, you were on national television at the time....... for shame.

I wish that there was a national holiday honoring me for being the all-around best person in the history of the world

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

There was. Part of the celebration was to baptize you in fuming nitric acid.

I wish for fuming nitric acid.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! You suffer from a disease that causes you to urinate fuming nitric acid every fifteen minutes. You repeatedly suffer the worst pain imaginable every day for the rest of your life............. which ends when you are crushed by a meteor.

I wish for the meteors to come back!!!!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

The meteors come back. But they just can't seem to hit anything Ransac would like them to hit.

I wish the meteors would hit me.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! However, the meteors are only the size of a nickel.... and they seem to only hit the area of skin between your balls and bung.


I wish that Spiderman would realize my awesomeness


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Spiderman beats you to a bloody pulp.

I wish for money. Again?

 

[Ransac]

Granted! You win $18 billion..... in pennies.... and they are delivered via helipcopter and dumped on top of you.


I wish that that happiness was spelled with an "r".


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Ransac]

I wish that someone would corrupt my wish

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted: ***


I wish that Ransac would bold his last wish

 

[Ransac]

Granted! You feel so smart that you have supposedly outwitted Ransac.... until you realize that the italicized wish was an "out-of-game" wish that Ransac posted simply to bring attention to this. With this in mind, Ransac ALREADY bold his previous wish. You experience shame like no other and decide to run away and get a job as a thong for Barbara Bush.

I wish that my comprehensive exams this Saturday went off without a hitch


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

They go off with a bang as you spontaneously combust.

I wish dzcx./,c vx,l./;dzxfcpol;'kSEDZAXdxlk,czx vd.,mn dcx vz.,mdcxoki,erdws ai9redswa mfdrcgimopk,l;fcgiopkml,;fcvpoilkm;fvcx,m c , mkopixdsae,olkd;i
"?dczxl.,m;DZSAX'lp;odZSXFAljdzxcjlkdcxfvzkl;fdc vzxkl;dxfczoicdvfiodckred893qjdcf

 

[Ransac]

Granted! Michael Jackson has no problem making you his "special friend."

I wish that Oversoul's pants would explode the next that that he wore them.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

I am out of clean pants, so I skin you alive and use your hide to make new pants, then I explode with anger at how crappy the pants turned out and proceed to make the rest of your short life very painful.

I wish for a milkshake.

 

[Limited]

Granted! A mad cow comes along, soakes you in (mad) milk and shakes you about until your bones give way.

I wish Magic cards were free!

 

[EricBess]

Granted. Some kid in Jersey who has been collecting forever and finally managed to get exactly infinite cards of every set ever printed and every set that ever will be printed decided he's finally bored with the game and starts giving all of his cards away to anyone who wants them. Predictably, the whole market collapses. Every TCG manufacturer ends up going out of business and the formats all go stale when someone discoveres a way to kill their opponent two turns before the game actually starts. Within days, no one is playing anymore. Avid players get upset and when the realize that your wish caused the problem in the first place, they all come beating down your door demanding an explaination.

I wish my response hadn't been so wordy.