Corrupted Wishes game

O

orgg

Guest
In this game,the first poster gives a wish. The person who responds then grants the wish and 'corrupts' it, then makes a wish of their own.

Example: I wish I was invisible!
Response: Granted! Since you're invisible, you cannot properly clean a painless cut on your leg. Gangrene kills you after months of suffering.
I wish...



Here's the first wish-- I wish I had three heads.
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Congratulations. Your wish is granted. You now have three heads. Unfortunately, one of your new brains is a blubbering idiot, and the other has suicidal tendencies. It drinks two quarts of drain cleaner while you and the idiot head are asleep. When you wake up, your insides are being cleaned rather thoroughly...

I wish I had a nice pizza.
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
Oversoul got it it before me!:D

Granted! The delivery man slips on your ill-placed welcome mat, splattering hot cheese all over your face...inadvertently scarring you for life. Due to your horrific wounds you end up living the rest of your life alone...and with quite the pile of skin ointment
I wish I could read minds.
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
And you can. But you can't stop reading minds, and the only minds you seem to be able to read are those of mental patients. After this drives you insane, you are placed in an institution yourself, tortured by power for the rest of your life.

I wish I didn't have bad ankles.
 
E

evan d

Guest
Wish granted! You no longer have bad ankles, but no ankles at all. Your feet die off first, then you die by bleeding to deeth.

I wish I had the best MtG deck ever.
 
J

jorael

Guest
Grrrrrrranted.

You steam roll your new deck through all the opposition at your local FNM. After that, you not only win each block constructed tournament, but also do surprisingly well at type 2, extended, legacy and vintage tournaments. You surprise the whole community!

Players thought it was cool at first, but then they got angry. Wizards finally did it, they broke the game. Wizards and Hasbro get prosecuted by hundreds of angry players and they go bankrupt. Your name is not associated with glory and fame, but with the destruction of the best game evan, uhm, evar. You live the rest of your life alone, hiding from every gamer worldwide.


I wish I could fly
 

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
Granted!

While testing out your wish, you're mistaken for an ICBM on radar from NORAD and they send a counter-missile. Which happens to be accurate this time.

I wish for world peace
 
E

evan d

Guest
You do get world peace! Unfortunately, since the world stopped fighting wars, world technology slows down. Therefore we do not get the vaccine for the terrible disease sent to us by the invading aliens.

I wish the world went to war on stupid people.
 
E

EricBess

Guest
Too easy, you were the first casualty ;)

I wish my kids would start obeying me...
 
O

orgg

Guest
Granted! However, in a moment of anger, you let out a profane expression that they immediatly act upon to horrible results.

I wish the CPA was more active...
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! Unfortunately, 7,000 new posts on the new "How to tap your bone flute" thread, including several flame posts by Istanbul and irrelevant comments by yours truly, cause the server to crash. This causes several CPA members to commit suicide. You, on the other hand, are found alive and well.......... at Neverland Ranch.

I wish to suddenly become the best Magic player in the world!!!!!!!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
O

orgg

Guest
Suddenly, Wizards of the Coast screws up almost totally irredeemably! Everyone but Mark 'Ransac' Wanich quits! YOU ARE TEH BESTEST PLAYER IN THE WORLD!

I wish we had some of the older CPA members still posting, like Zadok, Duel, ZeroTKatana, and K9Archmage.
 

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
GRRRRRAAAAANTED!

They come back to the forums again. However, they have either become bitter and cynic about the game or went professional or both and a huge blow-up occurs whether the CPA should forsake its roots and go pro or keep it casual. There's no in-between here. Ed gets sick of the whole thing and pulls the plug.

I wish for an end to world hunger
 
U

Ura

Guest
Granted!

Scientists discover a new vegtable hormone that creates gigantic vegtables to feed the world. However the hormone mutates and jumps the species barrier creating gigantic locusts that swarm the planet devouring everyone and everything in their path.

I wish we could build colonies on the moon.
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Well, that's exactly what we'll do. The colonies are very successful and everything goes as planned. However, after a political dispute, the colonists and us Earthlings go to war and wipe each other out. You survive, but break your leg escaping from the carnage. Unable to find food, you grow weak, and are eaten by cockroaches.

I wish that Orgg had three heads.
 
N

Nightstalkers

Guest
Granted! The three heads get into an argument and start plotting to kill one another, then decide to just kill you instead. Hey, three heads are better than one in murder!

I wish I were God.
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You get your wish, but it instantly kills you, since we all know "God is dead." :p

I wish for a thousand dollars.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! While walking down the street, a car chase is in progress. A mobster tosses is wallet out of the car and it lands in front of you. After pulling $1000 out of it, you notice that the chase has ended as quickly as it began and that the mobster is now coming back for his wallet. During the confusion, a meteor lands on you. :D

I wish for that the New York Yankees would lose every game from now to the end of time!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
I

Istanbul

Guest
Granted. Time ends. Good job, Beavis.

I wish Wizards of the Coast would scale back booster prices to the old days ($2.99 a pack, for those who weren't in the game back then).
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! However, they fill all of the booster packs will Fallen Empires and Homelands cards to scale back costs. Everybody quits the game............and a meteor falls on you. :D


I wish that the Ransac/Monkey 2008 campaign wins the USA presidential election in a landslide victory!
 
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