2002 CPA Notable Awards

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Spiderman, Oct 22, 2002.

  1. train The Wildcard!!!...

    Ahhh... Someone has seen the light in the power of training through Coat!!!...

    This will heighten your senses... You will move with much greater speed and accuracy and begin conquering all your fears... You will pummel your opponents with superior strength... And your best friend's sister will begin looking all that more attractive...


    Then the Officer will slap you around and throw you in Detox...

    :D ;) :p

    Got Coat?!!... And a good Legal Advocate?!!!...
  2. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    Spidey runs to the bathroom again to clean off his nose, making a note to have Mr. Fantastic check his spidey sense that failed to warn him of Ransac's attack. He thanks theorgg on the way back.

    "The next award goes to that special someone who just exudes sensuality and gets your hormones a-raging. Keeping the title from last year, this year's CPA Sex Kitten goes to PURPLE_JESTER! Your prize is a little shopping trip at your favorite lingerie store."
  3. train The Wildcard!!!...


    Congrats Purple-Jester!!!....

    Got Coat?!... and the answer to Victoria's Secret?!!!...

    Though I'll say - Mindy's the one who's been hitting on me!....;)
  4. Thallid Ice Cream Man 21sT CeNTuRy sChIZoId MaN

    (When is TickleMe?HellNo going to win that one?)

    Uh.. I mean congratul...a...tions! *clap*
  5. Apollo Bird Boy

    Congrats to Spidey, and then also to EricBess--the first person to work for the award he won! :)

    And of course, congratulations to the luscious PJ. If you're a kitten, you can try to catch this bird any time... ;)

    *Apollo carefully conceals himself in PJ's purse, determined to accompany her on her lingerie-shopping expedition.*
  6. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    Apparently everyone's attention is still on the Chaos Magic game that is still going on. Spidey sneaks away to watch Monsters, Inc. on widescreen DVD just because that movie's hilarious. Two hours later, he sneaks back, although no one has missed his absence.

    "The next award goes to that someone who can fry people to a nice, toasty crisp. Though he hasn't needed to in a while. For three years running, this year's Best Flamer award goes to ISTANBUL! You get a giant sized George Foreman grill to take care of your flaming needs :) "
  7. train The Wildcard!!!...

    "Does he get a recipe book also?!!!"

    Congrats Istanbul!!!...

  8. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    "The receipient of this next award didn't waste any time, despite re-appearing after a couple years absence. Making his views known to both old and new members, this year's Most Outspoken Award goes to FERRET, taking the title away from DUke last year! Your prize is a billy club so you can beat those senseless who don't agree with you ;) "
  9. Jigglypuff Big Cute Pink Thing

    Congrats you silly weasel!

    (- Steve -)
  10. train The Wildcard!!!...


    I've never asked before, but are you de-scented?:p

    (Some random member formthe audience steals ferret's billy club and chases train with it for such a bad joke...)

    "Oh... man!!!... stop it, that billy club hurts!!!"

    Got Coat?!!... and Rodney King's Lawyer!!!
  11. Chaos Turtle Demiurgic CPA Member, Admin Assistant

    Man, he just pops back in and starts winning awards...

    Well, congrats on being most outspoken, though I haven't noticed anyone out-speaking you, but what do I know? ;)

    "...Istanbul is a flamer? I didn't know..."

  12. rkoelsch Angel Boy

    Isty is know for his low profile. Congrats Isty and Ferret.
  13. EricBess Active Member

    Low profile flaming? This I've got to see... Eric punches a button and a panel in front of Istanbul's chair opens and offers up two flame throwers. The first is a huge, garganguan, mother of a flamthrower that could probably take out an entire building with nothing more than an itchy trigger finger. The other is about the size of a gnat.
  14. Apollo Bird Boy

    Congrats, Isty and Ferret!

    "Because I can outspeak Ferret any day..."
  15. Ferret CPA Founder, Slacker

    ::spewing out his drink from the bar::


    This is a major shocker. I expected to just sit back and congratulate everyone else. Thanks to all who voted for me!! This is a real honour...for once, I'm actually speechless...


  16. train The Wildcard!!!...

    (Suddenly from the bar in the lobby, screaming and yelling can be heard... The doors burst open and there stands Train! He must've slipped out while everyone was watching the ceremony... Crooked FBI and Homeland Security Agents run through the aisles and hold everyone at gunpoint... during this distraciton, a small group of South American commandos, drop from the stage rafters and throw a net over Spidey and begin hauling him away... A roadie crew begins setting up a huge white screen on the stage and an all-clear is yelled back to Train... He begins strolling down the aisle, smirking at what a few shipments of Coat financing can do to Federal agents and Guerillas... He walks up the steps to the stage and picks up the mic dropped by the Web-Slinger, and notices bird droppings on the stage floor???...)

    "Roll the film guys!!!..."

    (Director's Cut clips from The South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut movie begin rolling on the white screen... The audience sits silent, stunned, as if they didn't know what was going on...)

    "For all of you wondering what is going on here... I am now in control of this next Presentation. If you're wondering what we're going to do with Spidey - He's now being treated to a sponge bath by the Female Elvish Ranger's little cheerleader friends... He'll then be rubbed down with Essence of Gaea body lotion... So don't worry, he's fine... He may not want to come back though!...

    (gestures towards the back)

    Now let's get on with it...

    (A beautiful ensemble of Elvish Warrior Women wearing nothing but fig leaves to cover their privates marches in and forms a line one each side of the aisle... Then everything goes quiet and the spotlight focuses on the back door to the auditorium... There she is, in all her splendor, The Elvish Ranger.. she walks down the aisle carrying an envelope and climbs the steps to join her Coat dealer on the stage... She gently places the envelope with the winners names in his hand... Then grabs him by the hair and pulls his head to her and kisses him on the cheek!!!...*Train wonders what Mindy's thinking* Then gathers himself to read the award...)

    The next award for this year's CPA Notables is the CPA Grandad and Grandmom!!!... The nominees were, well everyone, duh... And the winners are...

    Oh - you guys are not going to believe this - The ever outspoken man himself, the one with more comon sense than all my junkies combined, Ferret!!!! Congratulations Grandad!!!

    Now for the Grandmom, Whoa!, Ummmm, Well, I don't know what to say about this next one except she's been so flirtatious lately, especially with me! Sometimes I can't stop thinking about her...(The Ranger jerks the envelope form Train's hand) Almindhra!!!, Why you little!!! So you're the one after my Trainey Wainey!!!

    (Train smothers the Rangers mouth and explains that he's no one's trainey wainey... and begins dragging the ranger behind the South Park clips screen... you hear a yell, like Train's just been racked, and then a muffled struggling behind the screen... Train emerges bent over, red in the face and speaks into the mic...)

    Ferret, Mindy, could you please come get your awards so I can get back to the bar for some ice? Again, Congratulations Ya'll...

    (Train makes his way off stage and to the bar after Ferret and Mindy get their awards and the roadies begin dismantling the screen and all the crooked federal agents apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused...)

    Got Coat?!!... and Freeze Packs?!!!...:p
  17. Almindhra Magic's Bitch

    *Seeing all the almost-naked females in the isles Almindhra keeps her eyes forward and grumbles under her breath about stupid females and their need to wear foliage as clothing...When the Elvish Woman of all Woman goes up on stage and pratically eats train up for lunch, she groans and mutters something about disgusting people and their public displays of affection...

    When Almindhra hears Ferret's name called for the Grandpa she claps and then waits for someone actually older than her to get it in the female category, hoping it'll be Griffith....

    Almindhra hears her name and gasps...She quickly touches her face to make sure no wrinkles are there then she quickly looks down at her chest...The sagginess already starting to set in at her age...

    She clomps up on stage and grabs her award then quickly runs off back to her seat...Peeking into the box she sees a couple of pairs of adult diapers...*

    "Hey!...I can at least still control my bowel movements!!"
  18. rkoelsch Angel Boy

    Here ya go Mindy. You came have my cane. I don't really use it much anyway. congrats Ferret and Almindhra
  19. Ferret CPA Founder, Slacker

    Now, now. You're only as old as you feel. I like to think I'll have the mentality of a 25 year old until I die - unfortunately, I think I have the body of an 80 year old...


    "...and only 1/3rd of a century old chronologicaly..."
  20. Svenmonkey Pants Chancellor

    I think train is Captain America in disguise.

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