Linux Troubleshooting Storm: A New Beginning (from the makers of Crapstorm)

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Look, a talking mountain goat!

What? Where?

Ward attempts to shove the foot soldier out of the tree.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
Day 5
Time: 6:24 am

Ward and Sophia are fighting an athletic foot soldier.
Pete, Pikachu and McGill are fighting an athletic foot soldier.
Melkor's Ghost is present.

Level 2 (60 ft); Round 3
The foot soldier continues his assault on Ward. He lunges with his sword, but loses his balance in the attack. As he falls, he attempts to brace himself, but lands awkwardly on his left hard, breaking it.
Ward attempts to knock the soldier out of the tree. He hits him solidly in the head, but the soldier manages to hold on.

Level 1 (30 ft); Round 5
The athletic foot soldier turn his attention to Pikachu, but his wide swing cuts just above Pikachu's head.
Pikachu prepares his Iron Tail and swings hard around at the soldier. Alas, his swing swung to hard and went right around his side and smacked him in the undercarriage.
McGill steps forward, crushing the soldier's ribs with his violin and killing him in the process.
Pete scrambles to his feet, looking up and wondering what sort of terrible odds must have struck for him to fall out of the tree.

As the athletic foot soldier's body hits the ground, something falls from inside his shirt. It appears to be a small package of some sort.

Status Updates
Everyone loses 1 fullness from the passage of time.
Ward loses 1 energy from his attack.
Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack. Pikachu loses 1 life and 2 comfort from smacking himself with his tail.
McGill loses 2 energy from his attack.
Athletic foot soldier (1) loses 1 life. He is dead.
Athletic foot soldier (2) loses 9 life and 18 comfort.

Safety Numbers
Ward: 7
Melkor's Ghost: 9
Pikachu: 2
McGill: 8
Pete: 5

Ward & Sophia are in the Uggly Tree (60 feet up).
Pete, Pikachu, McGill and Melkor's Ghost are at the base of the Uggly Tree.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
After some obvious internal debate, McGill grabs for the foot soldier's package -- er, the one that fell from his shirt, obviously.

"I wonder what this is..."
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
McGill grabs the man's package. It's small and soft yet fairly rigid. McGill gropes at it a bit and determines that it has a bone inside it. There's no obvious way to open it, though.

McGill acquires a tarsal parcel.
 
D

DarthFerret

Guest
after collecting his witts (must have scattered upon landing) pete heads up the tree to scout out more potential unfriendlies, web-sabre in hand. (p.s. I am the lead member of our first responder team. I could be called out at any time in the near future to go aid any hurricane stricken areas. If so, may not have internet access for a while, will see how bad this storm hits.)
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
I am the lead member of our first responder team. I could be called out at any time in the near future to go aid any hurricane stricken areas. If so, may not have internet access for a while, will see how bad this storm hits.
Good luck.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
McGill squints up at the tree to see if he can spot any other foot soldiers itching to fight the heros.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
Day 5
Time: 6:28 am

Ward and Sophia are fighting an athletic foot soldier.
Melkor's Ghost is present.

Level 2 (60 ft); Round 4

The foot soldier, badly injured, is unable to attack this round.
Ward kicks the soldier hard in the trunk, killing him. A parcel falls out of his shirt and plummets to the ground below.

Pikachu and Pete head back up the tree until they meet up with Ward and Sophia.
McGill peers up at the tree, spotting movement about 100 feet from the base. Before he can shout a warning, a foot powder bomb is thrown at his colleagues, exploding on Pete and making his legs feel extremely dry.

Pete, Pikachu, Ward and Sophia presumably begin to scramble up the tree toward the next attacker.

Status Updates
Ward loses 1 energy from his attack.
Pikachu loses 4 energy from climbing.
Pete loses 2 energy from climbing.
Athletic foot soldier (2) loses 7 life and 19 comfort. Athletic foot soldier is dead.

Safety Numbers
Ward: 7
Melkor's Ghost: 9
Pikachu: 6
McGill: 8
Pete: 5

Pete, Pikachu, Ward & Sophia are in the Uggly Tree (60 feet up).
McGill and Melkor's Ghost are at the base of the Uggly Tree.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
"Yet another foot soldier can't keep a grip on his package. If they had the kung-fu grip, they'd have fewer issues with that."

McGill picks up the parcel dropped by the second foot soldier.
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Ward rides Sophia into melee range and will attempt to parry the soldier's attack with his bicycle wheel if the soldier attacks him. Then He'll sock the foot soldier in the jaw.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
Day 5
Time: 6:34 am

The party (except McGill) is fighting an athletic foot soldier.

Level 3 (90 ft); Round 1
Ward hops on Sophia who bounds up the tree to the location of the next attacker. The foot soldier immediately pounces when Ward is in range, making a precise lunge with his sword straight at Ward's heart. Ward manages to deflect the sword so that it hits him in the head instead. Ouch! Ward is bleeding severely out his head.
The pain of the blow makes Ward unable to attack this round.
Pete is the next to reach the 100-ft level of the tree and engage the soldier. He slices the soldier's arm with his web saber, dealing 11 damage.
The sound of the P2E translator announcing, "I insert vicariously," reveals Pikachu's arrival on the scene. He unleashes a Thunderbolt at the soldier, zapping his head for a loss of 4 life.
Melkor's Ghost begins floating aside the tree en route to the ongoing battle.

Level 3 (90 ft); Round 2
The soldier turns his attention towards Pete, attempting to hack one of the spider's legs off, but barely misses.
Ward wipes some blood out of his eyes and socks the soldier in the jaw for a loss of 2 life. How callous.
Pete makes another swipe with his sword, cutting the soldier's arm for a loss of 2 life.
The soldier wobbles, woozy from that last attack and plummets out of the tree, hitting six branches on the way down and falling dead on the ground, where yet another parcel magically comes off of his person.
Melkor's Ghost makes it to the rest of the group.

Another foot powder bomb drops from higher up, again hitting Pete. He's still feeling pretty dry from the last bomb, so this one seems to have no further effect.

Status Updates
Ward and Pikachu each lose 2 energy from climbing.
Pete loses 1 energy from climbing.
Pete loses 2 energy from his attacks.
Ward loses 1 life from his attack.
Ward loses 9 life and 14 comfort. He has a major wound to his head.
Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack.
The athletic foot soldier loses 15 life and 21 comfort.

Safety Numbers
Ward: 5
Melkor's Ghost: 9
Pikachu: 5
McGill: 9
Pete: 3

The party (except McGill) is in the Uggly Tree (90 feet up).
McGill is at the base of the Uggly Tree.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
McGill picks up the latest package to drop from a fallen foot soldier.

"This will go well with the other still-to-be-identified package!"

McGill also attempts to help his buddies locate the source of the latest foot powder bomb and direct them to it.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
It's another tarsal parcel. Just like the first one. They're all going to be the same. I'll update McGill's inventory.
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
The sound of the P2E translator announcing, "I insert vicariously," reveals Pikachu's arrival on the scene. He unleashes a Thunderbolt at the soldier, electrocuting his head for a loss of 4 life.
What did he just say?

No, Ward! He didn't mean it.

Oh, is that so?

It was, um, a typo?

That is implausible.

He only said that about the soldier's head. Maybe they're able to fight without heads! Yeah, that's it.

Do you think I'm stupid?

Oh, come on. He let you get away with a head wound instead of a heart wound. Also, are you even allowed to break the fourth wall? What if there's some penalty for that? You should probably shut up before...

Ward files an objection to Round 2 of Level 3 on the grounds that the athletic foot soldier would be unable to fight after having been electrocuted because, as "everyone" knows, "electrocution" is a portmanteau of "electricity" and "execution" and refers to "death by electrical shock." Ward is a pedant.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
"I wonder if all these feet I keep picking up are lucky, like rabbit's feet...

"Also, I wish I had a foot locker in which to store them. Heh heh.

"That is all."
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
Ward files an objection to Round 2 of Level 3 on the grounds that the athletic foot soldier would be unable to fight after having been electrocuted because, as "everyone" knows, "electrocution" is a portmanteau of "electricity" and "execution" and refers to "death by electrical shock." Ward is a pedant.
Objection sustained. Language modified. And bon't every acuse me or making atpyo again. Its infathomable1
 
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