R
rokapoke
Guest
"I am punable to keep up with all this..."
McGill swings the gold violin at the ox.
McGill swings the gold violin at the ox.
Linux Troubleshooting Storm: A New Beginning (from the makers of Crapstorm)
- Thread starter turgy22
- Start date
turgy22
Nothing Special
Day 4
Time: 6:33am
You are fighting an evil ox.
Round 4
The evil ox prepares to plow another row. He tramples toward Ward, but fails to do any harm.
Ward swings the bicycle wheel. It smacks the ox in the groin for two damage.
The ox wheels around toward McGill and tries to hump him, but fails to mount.
McGill swings his gold violin at the ox's leg, striking it for an additional three damage.
The rapid-fire mobile pun turret shoots steadily at the ox. Two more shots hit their target.
Status Updates
Ward loses 1 energy from his attack.
McGill loses 2 energy from his attack.
The evil ox loses 7 life and 11 comfort.
Safety Numbers
Ward: 9
Melkor's Ghost: 4
Pikachu: 7
McGill: 6
Pete: 7
Time: 6:33am
You are fighting an evil ox.
Round 4
The evil ox prepares to plow another row. He tramples toward Ward, but fails to do any harm.
Ward swings the bicycle wheel. It smacks the ox in the groin for two damage.
The ox wheels around toward McGill and tries to hump him, but fails to mount.
McGill swings his gold violin at the ox's leg, striking it for an additional three damage.
The rapid-fire mobile pun turret shoots steadily at the ox. Two more shots hit their target.
Status Updates
Ward loses 1 energy from his attack.
McGill loses 2 energy from his attack.
The evil ox loses 7 life and 11 comfort.
Safety Numbers
Ward: 9
Melkor's Ghost: 4
Pikachu: 7
McGill: 6
Pete: 7
R
rokapoke
Guest
McGill, seeking a worthy pun to engage the turret, finds none.
Instead, he decides that perhaps palindromes have some power here in the backwoods, and, out of nowhere, shouts, "RACECAR!"
He also flails madly at the evil ox with the gold violin.
Instead, he decides that perhaps palindromes have some power here in the backwoods, and, out of nowhere, shouts, "RACECAR!"
He also flails madly at the evil ox with the gold violin.
turgy22
Nothing Special
Day 4
Time: 6:33am
You are fighting an evil ox.
A strange chill passes through the air. The group pauses for a moment, feeling not-quite-right. The ox charges, but seems to get reset back a few feet while still charging. This can only mean one thing: someone is resetting the matrix.
In an effort to further speed up battles, perfect rolls will now be rewarded with bonus damage. Egregiously crappy rolls will now also be penalized, as you'll see in a moment.
Round 5
The evil ox glitches, and then rumbles on. He plows toward McGill first this time. Still slowed by his yoke, he's easy to avoid.
McGill shouts "RACECAR!" while flailing madly. Before he can strike the ox, though, a sudden rumbling comes from deep in the woods. A racecar is headed straight for the battle. As it approaches, it suddenly flips around backwards. It's not a race car at all! It's a... oh wait, no, it's still a race car. The race car drives over McGill's foot for a loss of 5 life and 10 comfort. Then it speeds off into oblivion.
The ox plows on toward Ward, who also deflects it easily.
Ward swings with the wheel. The wheel hits a nearby tree, and bounces back to smack Ward in the face for a loss of 5 life and 9 comfort.
Pikachu calls forth a Thunderbolt. It smacks the ox double-hard, killing him before he can make another attack.
Status Updates
McGill loses 2 energy from his attack. McGill loses 5 life and 10 comfort. McGill gains 3 experience from the battle.
Ward loses 1 energy from his attack. Ward loses 5 life and 9 comfort. Ward gains 7 experience from the battle.
Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack. Pikachu gains 12 experience from the battle.
Pete and Melkor's Ghost gain 1 experience from the battle.
The evil ox loses 8 life and is dead.
Day 4
Time: 6:34am
The party stands before an evil ox carcass. It's still smoking a bit from that final thunderbolt. The smell of steak fills the air.
The party is in the Backwoods, about 3 miles east of where they entered and 21 miles west of the Ugly Tree.
Time: 6:33am
You are fighting an evil ox.
A strange chill passes through the air. The group pauses for a moment, feeling not-quite-right. The ox charges, but seems to get reset back a few feet while still charging. This can only mean one thing: someone is resetting the matrix.
In an effort to further speed up battles, perfect rolls will now be rewarded with bonus damage. Egregiously crappy rolls will now also be penalized, as you'll see in a moment.
Round 5
The evil ox glitches, and then rumbles on. He plows toward McGill first this time. Still slowed by his yoke, he's easy to avoid.
McGill shouts "RACECAR!" while flailing madly. Before he can strike the ox, though, a sudden rumbling comes from deep in the woods. A racecar is headed straight for the battle. As it approaches, it suddenly flips around backwards. It's not a race car at all! It's a... oh wait, no, it's still a race car. The race car drives over McGill's foot for a loss of 5 life and 10 comfort. Then it speeds off into oblivion.
The ox plows on toward Ward, who also deflects it easily.
Ward swings with the wheel. The wheel hits a nearby tree, and bounces back to smack Ward in the face for a loss of 5 life and 9 comfort.
Pikachu calls forth a Thunderbolt. It smacks the ox double-hard, killing him before he can make another attack.
Status Updates
McGill loses 2 energy from his attack. McGill loses 5 life and 10 comfort. McGill gains 3 experience from the battle.
Ward loses 1 energy from his attack. Ward loses 5 life and 9 comfort. Ward gains 7 experience from the battle.
Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack. Pikachu gains 12 experience from the battle.
Pete and Melkor's Ghost gain 1 experience from the battle.
The evil ox loses 8 life and is dead.
Day 4
Time: 6:34am
The party stands before an evil ox carcass. It's still smoking a bit from that final thunderbolt. The smell of steak fills the air.
The party is in the Backwoods, about 3 miles east of where they entered and 21 miles west of the Ugly Tree.
R
rokapoke
Guest
McGill digs in to some evil ox, carefully avoiding the black liquid (he doesn't actually want to eat any of the evil, after all).
"I better eat more than Ward, because I'm rather hungry right now. Anybody else want some?"
"I better eat more than Ward, because I'm rather hungry right now. Anybody else want some?"
D
DarthFerret
Guest
pete will avoid the meat, but will sample some of the blood if it hasn't all boiled away, if it is good, he will offer some to his offspring (which, hence forth will be called repete)
turgy22
Nothing Special
Pete sinks his fangs into the still-warm ox carcass (get it while it's still pulsating!) and sucks out a sampling of ox juices, which comprise a mixture of the typical red ox blood and the black goo the others have found. When Pete and Repete complete the sweet meat treat, they seem more... sinister.
Pete gains 4 fullness.
Pete gains 4 fullness.
R
rokapoke
Guest
"Shall we continue on to the Ugly Tree?"
turgy22
Nothing Special
Everyone nods in agreement with McGill.
Old business: Ward’s leadership roll for the last battle was a two. Everyone gets a cookie.
New business: Pikachu eats some ox meat until he’s full and then someone in the group who’s responsible picks up and carries some additional meat for the remainder of what is still a relatively long journey.
Day 4
Time: 6:48 am
The party treks on eastward. After 6 hours, Pete’s too hungry to go on, so everyone stops for lunch. The group finishes off the meat and rests for an hour before continuing on.
Day 4
Time: 1:48 pm
Status Updates
Everyone loses 35 fullness from the passage of time.
Everyone loses 18 energy from traveling.
Everyone gains 14 energy from resting.
Ward gains 60 fullness from eating. His head wound feels a little better.
McGill and Pikachu gain 35 fullness from eating. They didn’t rest long enough for their feet to feel better, though.
Pete gains 65 fullness from eating.
After another 12 miles (an 8-hour hike through the woods), the trees thin out a bit and a clearing is visible up ahead. In the clearing stands the biggest, tallest, ugliest tree you’ve ever laid eyes on. At least 50 feet wide at the base, and towering perhaps 300 feet into the air, the Ugly Tree rises far above the surrounding forest canopy. Despite its magnificent size, it looks dark and sickly, with scant evidence of green growth, save some moss that creeps up from the ground around the base. Many branches are broken and gnarly and a formation of knots located about a dozen feet off the ground strongly resembles parts of the female anatomy.
Everyone’s eyes are drawn upward and there is detectable movement on the tree, but a more pressing concern is made known before anyone can think about what might be in the tree. A group of five men, about five feet tall, clad in leather armor and holding spears, turns as the group emerges from the woods.
“Interlopers,” one of them calls. “They have come to break our siege on the elves. Quickly, men, we must fight them off.”
The soldiers advance on the party’s location.
Day 4
Time: 9:48 pm
You are fighting an army of foot soldiers.
Ward's leadership roll is a 6! Each round, one party member may attack twice.
Status Updates
Everyone loses 40 fullness from the passage of time.
Everyone loses 24 energy from traveling.
Safety Numbers
Ward: 8
Melkor's Ghost: 1
Pikachu: 5
McGill: 7
Pete: 7
Old business: Ward’s leadership roll for the last battle was a two. Everyone gets a cookie.
New business: Pikachu eats some ox meat until he’s full and then someone in the group who’s responsible picks up and carries some additional meat for the remainder of what is still a relatively long journey.
Day 4
Time: 6:48 am
The party treks on eastward. After 6 hours, Pete’s too hungry to go on, so everyone stops for lunch. The group finishes off the meat and rests for an hour before continuing on.
Day 4
Time: 1:48 pm
Status Updates
Everyone loses 35 fullness from the passage of time.
Everyone loses 18 energy from traveling.
Everyone gains 14 energy from resting.
Ward gains 60 fullness from eating. His head wound feels a little better.
McGill and Pikachu gain 35 fullness from eating. They didn’t rest long enough for their feet to feel better, though.
Pete gains 65 fullness from eating.
After another 12 miles (an 8-hour hike through the woods), the trees thin out a bit and a clearing is visible up ahead. In the clearing stands the biggest, tallest, ugliest tree you’ve ever laid eyes on. At least 50 feet wide at the base, and towering perhaps 300 feet into the air, the Ugly Tree rises far above the surrounding forest canopy. Despite its magnificent size, it looks dark and sickly, with scant evidence of green growth, save some moss that creeps up from the ground around the base. Many branches are broken and gnarly and a formation of knots located about a dozen feet off the ground strongly resembles parts of the female anatomy.
Everyone’s eyes are drawn upward and there is detectable movement on the tree, but a more pressing concern is made known before anyone can think about what might be in the tree. A group of five men, about five feet tall, clad in leather armor and holding spears, turns as the group emerges from the woods.
“Interlopers,” one of them calls. “They have come to break our siege on the elves. Quickly, men, we must fight them off.”
The soldiers advance on the party’s location.
Day 4
Time: 9:48 pm
You are fighting an army of foot soldiers.
Ward's leadership roll is a 6! Each round, one party member may attack twice.
Status Updates
Everyone loses 40 fullness from the passage of time.
Everyone loses 24 energy from traveling.
Safety Numbers
Ward: 8
Melkor's Ghost: 1
Pikachu: 5
McGill: 7
Pete: 7
R
rokapoke
Guest
"There are five foot soldiers that are 5 feet tall... I think we should concentrate our efforts on taking them out one at a time to see if that shortens the other soldiers."
McGill then swings his gold violin at whichever foot soldier is most convenient to the most party members.
McGill then swings his gold violin at whichever foot soldier is most convenient to the most party members.
D
DarthFerret
Guest
Pete will use his web of deceit to slow one down whioe directing repete to get out the pawn scum.
Oversoul
The Tentacled One
Look, McGill: they have murdered some of our kin and are wearing their skin as armor. Vengeance for the Bovidae family!
So these are foot soldiers? I wonder if attacking their feet might render them powerless...
Ward attempts to put one of the soldiers in a heel hook.
So these are the footpads that have been trying to kick the poor elves while they were down. Well, if they won't toe the line, we'll just have to stomp them out. Incidentally, I urge caution here because even though it looks like a simple siege on the (plantar) surface, I suspect that things are more complicated underfoot, er, underneath. Perhaps while Ward is attacking toe-to-toe, someone else can move laterally to flank them or attack them from a different ankle, er, angle. Even if these don't seem like our arch-enemies, it wouldn't do to underestimate them. Our first priority is protecting the tree, so it's not necessary to heel this one band all the way back to their footquarters. Well, what do you think, Ward?
I am slightly preoccupied at the moment on account of the mortal combat in which I am engaged.
I think I toe-nailed it.
So these are foot soldiers? I wonder if attacking their feet might render them powerless...
Ward attempts to put one of the soldiers in a heel hook.
So these are the footpads that have been trying to kick the poor elves while they were down. Well, if they won't toe the line, we'll just have to stomp them out. Incidentally, I urge caution here because even though it looks like a simple siege on the (plantar) surface, I suspect that things are more complicated underfoot, er, underneath. Perhaps while Ward is attacking toe-to-toe, someone else can move laterally to flank them or attack them from a different ankle, er, angle. Even if these don't seem like our arch-enemies, it wouldn't do to underestimate them. Our first priority is protecting the tree, so it's not necessary to heel this one band all the way back to their footquarters. Well, what do you think, Ward?
I am slightly preoccupied at the moment on account of the mortal combat in which I am engaged.
I think I toe-nailed it.
turgy22
Nothing Special
Day 4
Time: 9:49 pm
You are fighting an army of foot soldiers.
Round 1
Ward attempts his heel hook on one of the soldiers. The soldier easily pushes him back with the blunt end of his spear before Ward can latch on.
Melkor's Ghost makes one of the soldiers sad. Incredibly sad. The soldier loses 9 life from the heartache.
Pikachu fires a thunderbolt at one of the soldiers. The soldier gets completely fried.
McGill swings his gold violin mightily. It mightily crushes one of the soldier's spines, killing him.
Pete flings the web of deceit, wrapping up one of the soldiers in an entanglement of lies. Repete gathers pawn scum.
The foot soldier Ward tried to wrestle with thrusts his spear into Ward's leg for a loss of 5 life.
The foot soldier saddened by Melkor's Ghost swings his spear wildly at the ghost. It cuts into his ghostform, making him significantly less visible.
The other foot soldier flails wildly, as he tries to escape Pete's web.
The pun turret revs up. Shots fire wildly. One shot hits the saddened soldier in the shoulder and he drops to the ground. Two more shots hit the soldier that attacked Ward and another shot hits the soldier caught in Pete's web. One shot hits Pete in the backside.
Ward makes a second attempt to trip up the soldier he's facing, but can't move fast enough to bring him down.
Status Updates
Two soldiers remain. They're both still five feet tall.
Ward loses 2 energy from his attacks. Ward loses 5 life and 6 comfort from getting hit.
Melkor's Ghost loses 7 opacity.
Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack.
McGill loses 2 energy from his attack.
Pete loses 1 energy from throwing his web. Pete loses 1 life and 1 comfort from getting hit by the turret.
Safety Numbers
Ward: 7
Melkor's Ghost: 1
Pikachu: 5
McGill: 6
Pete: 7
Time: 9:49 pm
You are fighting an army of foot soldiers.
Round 1
Ward attempts his heel hook on one of the soldiers. The soldier easily pushes him back with the blunt end of his spear before Ward can latch on.
Melkor's Ghost makes one of the soldiers sad. Incredibly sad. The soldier loses 9 life from the heartache.
Pikachu fires a thunderbolt at one of the soldiers. The soldier gets completely fried.
McGill swings his gold violin mightily. It mightily crushes one of the soldier's spines, killing him.
Pete flings the web of deceit, wrapping up one of the soldiers in an entanglement of lies. Repete gathers pawn scum.
The foot soldier Ward tried to wrestle with thrusts his spear into Ward's leg for a loss of 5 life.
The foot soldier saddened by Melkor's Ghost swings his spear wildly at the ghost. It cuts into his ghostform, making him significantly less visible.
The other foot soldier flails wildly, as he tries to escape Pete's web.
The pun turret revs up. Shots fire wildly. One shot hits the saddened soldier in the shoulder and he drops to the ground. Two more shots hit the soldier that attacked Ward and another shot hits the soldier caught in Pete's web. One shot hits Pete in the backside.
Ward makes a second attempt to trip up the soldier he's facing, but can't move fast enough to bring him down.
Status Updates
Two soldiers remain. They're both still five feet tall.
Ward loses 2 energy from his attacks. Ward loses 5 life and 6 comfort from getting hit.
Melkor's Ghost loses 7 opacity.
Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack.
McGill loses 2 energy from his attack.
Pete loses 1 energy from throwing his web. Pete loses 1 life and 1 comfort from getting hit by the turret.
Safety Numbers
Ward: 7
Melkor's Ghost: 1
Pikachu: 5
McGill: 6
Pete: 7
R
rokapoke
Guest
"Gosh, Pete, I guess that pun turret can be a pain in the rump, eh?"
McGill swings his gold violin at another soldier.
McGill swings his gold violin at another soldier.