Linux Troubleshooting Storm: A New Beginning (from the makers of Crapstorm)

Discussion in 'Games Run By CPA Members' started by turgy22, Aug 7, 2012.

  1. turgy22 Nothing Special

    And you were, too, apparently.
    Slightly off-topic: my wife and I finished playing a campaign of Borderlands last night and I noticed that the executive producer for the game is Stephen Bahl. So, thanks for that. Great game.

    Anyway...

    Sophia chops the toad with a feathery wing. It hurts him slightly more than getting hit with a feathery pillow. Which is to say, not at all. Because he's made of freaking steel.
  2. rokapoke Man Among Gods

    McGill attempts to squirt bidet water on the steel toad, seeking to make it useless via oxidation.
  3. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Probably the same guy that worked on Halo. There are actually two Stephen Bahls that would always come up on search engines ahead of me ever since I started searching for my own name in like 1999, and he was always the first one. The other was a college basketball player, but I think I've mostly passed him up on internet searches now that he hasn't been playing college basketball for several years. But video game Stephen Bahl remains unbeatable. I even tried shenanigans with linking using my own name to something of mine (I think it was a Livejournal page or something) in an attempt to Google-bomb myself at one point, but it didn't work. Maybe some day...

    Nothing hurts this steel toad. There is probably some unreasonable explanation like "powered by the magic of the foot shard" or "too heavily armored for your puny attacks." We need more time...

    Sophia grabs Ward and McGill and flies way up into the air, hopefully out of range of the steel toad's attacks.
  4. turgy22 Nothing Special

    All you need to do is become more accomplished in life. Become a famous actor or run for president. That would probably do the trick.

    Back to the game...
    McGill aims his bidet (or both, who knows) at the steel toad and turns it on. It's a hit. The steel toad is now warm and wet and covered in sand. It's like a day at the beach.
    Sophia grabs Ward and McGill, but either can't get off the ground because she's only got one wing or can't pick them both up because one of her arms is a wing. It's all very confusing.
    The warm wet sandy steel toad fires another steel amphi-beam at the floundering party, but the shot goes wide and smacks into a tree.

    Just then...
    Two foot soldiers come around the wall to see the fighting going on. Upon spotting the animated toad, they keep their distance behind him.
    One of the foot soldiers inside the compound decides to be bold and hops over the outer wall, landing on the ground near the front gate. He gathers up the letters that flew off during Sophia's transformation from a granite gargoyle to an angel and rearranges them to form A GORY TIGER. The tiger immediately mauls the foot soldier and then starts chewing on his head.

    Meanwhile...
    Melkor's Ghost, Pete, and Pikachu, being satisfied with their search of the large building, exit and start traveling toward the hut. They see one of the foot soldiers hop over the gate, then hear a roar and a scream in terror. Six other foot soldiers are still milling around just inside the gate, with a seventh standing on a ladder looking over the wall.
  5. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    "Pika!" Pikachu decides to get into the action and help the others and rolls forward into the crowd of six with an Electro-Ball attack.
  6. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Sophia casts Pale Horse on the steel toad, blasting it with a spell that will surely have an effect, unlike everything else so far...

    Ward tosses a cotton ball into the steel toad's mouth in an effort to cause the beast to choke to death by lodging a foreign body in its airway.

    Also, if everyone starts attacking the foot soldiers, that sort of defeats the purpose of this "distract the enemy so that the foot shard is left relatively unguarded" gambit...
  7. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    "Pika..." Pikachu aborts his roll and stays with the others, hoping to keep unnoticed.

    See, this is why he's a follower...
  8. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Pikachu, Pete and Melkor's Ghost stop moving.

    Ward successfully tosses a cotton ball into the toad's mouth. The toad now has cottonmouth.
    The toad then gets trampled by a Pale Horse, which gallops off into the woods. The toad develops a hoof abscess. Ward loses 2 experience from making me have to look up what the heck "Pale Horse" is supposed to mean as a spell.
    The toad tries to bite Ward with his cottonmouth, but misses.
    A gory tiger stops chewing on the fallen foot soldier's head to look at the ruckus. He eyes McGill hungrily.
  9. rokapoke Man Among Gods

    McGill eyes his footwear. "I wonder if these are steel toad boots..."

    McGill attempts to offer his boots to the steel toad, being careful so as to not get killed in the process.

    At the same time, McGill points out that A GORY TIGER can be (very slightly) rearranged to spell ROY A. TIGGER, who is a close cousin of Winnie the Pooh's striped friend. Roy would certainly have no interest in hungrily eying any of our heroes!
  10. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Sophia casts Super Nova on the steel toad. Ward attempts to distract and confuse the steel toad by reminding it that cottonmouths are natural predators of toads.
  11. turgy22 Nothing Special

    The toad is not interested in McGill's boots.
    The toad is not interested in Ward's information.
    The tiger has already formed. Should have tried rearranging those letters sooner.
    The benevolent overseer is not interested in Googling more FFVII spells. He waits patiently for Sophia to describe what a Super Nova is supposed to do. (The obvious result would be the sun exploding, in which case the spell will fizzle.)
  12. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Now that I think about it, the Final Fantasy games probably do show the sun exploding or something like that, but come on, that's silly. The sun isn't big enough to go supernova. Everyone knows that. Also, how could anyone use it more than once? Do you reassemble the sun after using the spell so that you can have the sun ready to cast the spell again? I was just assuming that it did damage. Lots and lots of damage! Maybe not enough damage to kill a steel toad, but with a name like Super Nova, it has to be good, right?

    Edit: I just looked it up, and apparently it did damage equal to 15/16ths of the target's HP with a chance to cause confusion, silence, or slow. Why would a supernova cause anything to slow down? Why 15/16ths? These games were weird...

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