Linux Troubleshooting Storm: A New Beginning (from the makers of Crapstorm)

Discussion in 'Games Run By CPA Members' started by turgy22, Aug 7, 2012.

  1. turgy22 Nothing Special

    The Rules (Changes in red.)

    1. Everyone is free to play at any time. Join the game, stop playing, make sarcastic comments about everyone else’s ability to play, whatever. Each player is allowed to create one character for the game (unless your character dies; then you can make another). However, you can also control any existing character if you feel the desire to do so and if the player that created that character hasn’t responded in a while. Also, I will try to create puzzles and situations that require the combined abilities and/or items of multiple characters in order to move on. So if you think of a solution that involves another character, don’t hesitate to present it. I may even introduce new characters for the express purpose of being controlled by the players.

    2. Creativity and originality are required in order to succeed. Humorous responses, absurd back stories and clever ideas for advancing will all be rewarded. There will be even better rewards if you make me laugh. (Note: I have a fondness for bad puns, double entendre and obscure references to things I enjoy. Feel free to use this information as you will.)

    3. I will respond to this thread every day. That’s my rule. If I’m not pushing the game along, I’ll at least do something to advance the conversation, unless no one else is responding. If I break this rule, the first person to call me out will be rewarded.

    4. There is no limit on what your character can be, own or be capable of. Your character can be any race or being, real or imagined from the past, present or future. He / she / it can, of course, be a human or another traditional fantasy role. Or they could be a dinosaur, an alien, an animal, an anthropomorphized inanimate object or anything else you can imagine. It doesn’t matter to me. They can have superpowers, wield magic or possess advanced technology. I do ask that they possess enough sentience to reasonably communicate with the other members of the party. Also, try to provide as much detail as possible so that I can better incorporate your character into the plot.

    5. Having said that, I would advise not trying to create something too powerful or I’ll just have to find a way to nerf things for the sake of balance and plot advancement. A battle against traditional low-level bad guys (goblins, zombies, soldiers, bears, etc.) should be a relatively fair fight and more powerful foes should be a struggle. If you decide to be Superman, you will be given a kryptonite collar. Also, there will be “die rolls” (read: random number results) that I will assign at my own discretion. If something seems really powerful, it might not act as such in the course of the game.

    6. No one needs to keep track of anything. I’m going to use the second post of this thread to keep a running tally of all characters in the game, the primary player controlling them and all special abilities and items in each character’s possession. I may also keep track of the current game situation (if things get confusing) and maybe make a map of the area if I feel like it. Please keep me informed in case I miss something or if you would like your character's information displayed differently.

    7. Other rules may follow, if I feel they’re necessary to keeping things fun and/or interesting. I’ll add them to this post as they arise.

    Notes on Gameplay
    1. Each character has a health meter (Life, or Essence for the ghost). When that reaches zero, you die. Depending on your other numbers, it will go up or down over time. Each section of a character's body also has it's own health meter (the total is the sum of each part). A character can get hit in the head, arms, legs, torso-region, or groin / udders / undercarriage. Losing over half of one's health from a part of the body constitutes a major wound, which will lead to additional life loss if left untreated. Losing all of one's health from a part of the body will inhibit a character's ability to perform certain tasks.

    2. The other important stats (for non-ghost characters) are Energy, Fullness and Comfort. Having any of these numbers drop below 20 will result in negative effects. (Going down to 0 will be much worse). Having them between 51 and 80 will result in bonuses. Over 80 will give mixed results.

    3. Ghosts are special.

    4. You can restore your numbers by using or consuming certain items. Again, I'll explain what happens when it happens. Energy and Comfort can be restored by resting. You can rest anywhere, but it's better to rest in safe places. Returning to the Safeway will automatically restore all stats to 80 and life to 100. Also, if certain players aren't responding and their numbers are dropping, I may automatically use one of their items to keep things moving. If the group is traveling a long distance, I may rest them automatically during the journey. If you have a preference for how your character should do things when you're not around, let me know and I'll try to accommodate.

    5. You can inspect any item to get a brief description / clues to what it might do. I'm trying to imagine a purpose for everything I hand out, but if you have another idea on how to use something, give it a try and I might allow it. The clues I give will only reflect on what I have in mind.

    6. During combat, the Die of Safety will only be rolled once, at the beginning. This will determine a character's Safety Number for the duration of the battle. Using a melee attack will cause the Safety Number to drop by one each round. Refraining from an attack or seeking a better defensive position will allow the safety number to remain constant or improve. Using a ranged attack will have a 50% chance of decreasing the Safety Number for the round.

    7. The Die of Contact will be rolled every time you try to use a weapon / power against an enemy. Various weapons /powers will modify the final result, but the Die itself has the biggest impact on your ability to hit your opponent successfully.

    8. The party will have a traveling speed. This is the pace at which they go on foot. The default will be what I'm calling "casual" speed, but the group can move up to 4x faster than that (quickly = 2x, running = 3x, sprinting = 4x) or half as fast (mosey = 1/2x) if they desire. Faster speeds use up more energy than moving casually.

    Caveat #1: the plot of the story may become overly-complicated and nonsensical for the sole purpose of setting up a single joke. You’ve been warned.

    Caveat #2: I may edit my posts a lot as ideas come to me. I'll only do this if I've made the most recent post, so if you read my last post and there's no more posts for a while, you might want to re-read it before making another post because there might be slight changes.
  2. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Character List

    Agent Ward Bashenthal
    Created by: Oversoul
    Life: 100
    Energy: 80 (Fine)
    Fullness: 80 (Fine)
    Comfort: 80 (Fine)
    DoC: d6
    DoS: d6
    Experience: 62
    Currency: 1 pound
    Partner: Sophia (form of... granite gargoyle!)
    Food Items: gnougat gnuggets (6), zoa pie (6 slices), GS cookie (2), bag of diced vegetables (29 servings)
    Wearable items: Uggly Boots (1 pair)
    Health Items: Anvil (20 pills), undrinkable alcohol (19 oz), gauze (96 ft), cotton balls (99), Lots of Bs vitamins (30), Pure Menthol (25)
    Other: bicycle wheel, leadership roll, banjo, bag of castle sand, baby die, misprinted Magic 8-ball, a dose of evil

    Melkor's Ghost
    Created by: Melkor
    Essence: 66
    Mobility: 25 (Normal)
    Opacity: 18 (Transparentish)
    Solidity: 23 (Gelatinous)
    DoC: d6
    DoS: d6
    Experience: 16
    Currency: 15 pounds
    Food Items: bucket of fried chicken (8 pc), GS cookie (2), bag of diced vegetables (29 servings)
    Health Items: jar of ectoplasm (12 oz), packet of bath salt, broken heart (9 sadness)
    Other: baby die, hauntable duffel bag

    "Created" by: Spiderman's kids
    Life: 75
    Energy: 80 (Fine)
    Fullness: 80 (Fine)
    Comfort: 80 (Fine)
    DoC: d6
    DoS: d6
    Experience: 76
    Currency: 15 pounds
    Food Items: bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup (6 squirts), GS cookie (2), bag of diced vegetables (22 servings)
    Wearable Items: mitre, Uggly Boots (1 pair)
    Other: Disney Princess stickerbook, Slowmobile, electric accordion, pawn scum, baby die, Pikanese-to-English translator, a dose of evil, gold star

    Created by: Rokapoke
    Life: 100
    Energy: 80 (Fine)
    Fullness: 80 (Fine)
    Comfort: 80 (Fine)
    DoC: d6
    DoS: d6
    Experience: 88
    Currency: 10 pounds
    Weapons: regular violin, solid-gold violin
    Food Items: GS cookie (2), bag of diced vegetables (24 servings), Pap's Smearnoff vodka (24 oz)
    Health Items: prenatal vitamins (24 doses), bidet, extra bidet
    Wearable Items: mitre, knight cap, Elizabethan collar, cowbell, Uggly Boots (1 pair)
    Other: expired coupon, ornate bow, pawn scum, bag of castle sand, baby die, a dose of evil, tarsal parcel (3)

    Created by: DarthFerret
    Life: 80
    Energy: 80 (Fine)
    Fullness: 80 (Fine)
    Comfort: 80 (Fine)
    DoC: d6
    DoS: d6
    Experience: 51
    Currency: 11 pounds
    Offspring: repete
    Items equipped: spider-net leg coverings (4 pairs)
    Food Items: bag of diced vegetables (22 servings), GS cookie
    Wearable Items: voting fedora (R), voting fedora (D), Uggly Boots (1 pair)
    Other: lightsaber hilt, web of deceit, shiny nickel, pawn scum, baby die

    Party Items: tender crispy chicken (minus a thigh), black jack, felt net, banana hammock, rapid-fire mobile pun turret, crudely-drawn map, rudimentary compass
  3. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Crapstorm: Part 1: Chapter Two: Still Poorly Conceived, but More Organized, Maybe

    Maj. Changes returns from replacing the storefront with a satisfied smile on his face. "Very good. Now we can get things moving again."

    Anon finishes his scribbles and hands it to the group, along with an odd object made of metal pins. "Here you go. I drew you a map. And made you a compass. So you won't get lost in the woods or elsewhere. So long now!"

    The party acquires a crudely-drawn map.
    The party acquires a rudimentary compass.


    Attached Files:

  4. rokapoke Man Among Gods

    "We'll have to be very careful when we get into the Backwoods. If the Red Hot Chili Peppers are to be believed, that's where the Chuck Berries grow."
  5. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Day 3
    Time: 11:00pm

    The party exits the Safeway and stands in the parking lot. It's dark outside. Melkor's Ghost's baby die is rattling like crazy.

    Everyone moves on slowly as their eyes adjust to the dark. Melkor's Ghost seems unfazed by the darkness and Pete's eyes adjust quickly, so they lead the group out of the parking lot and down the road to Route Two. It's not long before everyone realizes that Anon apparently is a terrible judge of distance. The marking on his map and his estimates for travel time are all off by a factor of 3. The journey is going to be a lot longer than expected. Stupid Anon.

    Day 4
    Time: 12:24am

    The party reaches Route Two and turns left, still traveling in the dark. Someone in the group, who hopefully is better at judging distance than Anon, tries to keep note of the miles traveled until they reach twelve. Someone then whips out the rudimentary compass and, upon identifying magnetic north, deduces a reasonable estimate for traveling due east. The party enters the Backwoods.

    Day 4
    Time: 4:24am

    The party travels east through the Backwoods, carefully picking their way around trees and over rocks and roots. The going is slower than on the road and after about two hours, with the light beginning to stream its way through the branches above, the party decides to take a break. Everyone's baby dice start rattling a little. Melkor's Ghost's baby die has stopped rattling completely. I think it died.

    Day 4
    Time: 6:24am

    Status Updates
    Everyone loses 19 energy and 37 fullness from traveling.
  6. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Ward feeds his baby die and tries another slice of his zoa pie. He also checks Melkor's ghost's baby die and tries to see if it will respond to feeding or to medical treatment from Ward's makeshift first-aid kit.

    I'd say that it will haunt him, but under the circumstances I'm not even sure that makes sense...

    McGill still has those prenatal vitamins. Perhaps those can revitalize Melkor's ghost's baby die if nothing else works...

    Can a ghost be haunted? Do we need a new rule for that?
  7. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Ward eats a slice of zoa pie. He gains 10 fullness and loses 1 energy.

    Ward feeds his baby die. It eats 3 servings of vegetables and falls back asleep.

    Melkor's Ghost's baby die isn't dead! It's just weak. It limply rolls over when Ward tries to feed it and eats a single serving of vegetables before losing consciousness. For my own convenience at keeping track of these things, Ward feeds the die from Melkor's Ghost's vegetable bag.

    Pikachu will feed his baby die, as well. It eats 2 servings of vegetables before quieting down.
  8. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    pete feeds his baby die and shares the rest of his cookie with his offspring
  9. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Pete's baby die rolls over to 3 before chowing down as many servings of veggies.

    Pete shares his cookie with his spiderling. Pete gains 2 fullness and 1 energy. He and the spiderling feel an urge to charge into battle.
  10. turgy22 Nothing Special

    After a very short rest, the group decides to continue on their journey to the Ugly Tree. Everyone stands up and faces east when McGill notices an unusual object about 30 feet away. A large olive, marked across one end with a big red "X", hovers about four feet off the ground. It's a little bit out of the way, but also generally in the direction the group was heading. It would be just as easy to investigate it as it would to avoid it completely.
  11. Melkor Well-Known Member

    Lets go check it out, maybe there is a giant Martini around here as well.
  12. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Actually, I was thinking that either you or I should investigate while the rest of the party watches from a distance. It could be a bomb or something.


    What? You don't think he's offended by that, do you? It's a strictly practical consideration...
  13. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Melkor's Ghost and Sophia approach the olive cautiously. When they stand about 15 feet away, it seems to notice then and flips around backwords. It's not an x-olive at all! It's an evil ox!* Curse these Backwoods!

    The ox charges at Sophia and Melkor's Ghost.

    Day 4
    Time: 6:30am

    You are fighting an evil ox.

    Round 1
    The evil ox tries to ram into Sophia the gnu, but she hops out of the way.
    The evil ox continues his charge into Melkor's Ghost, but can't get a piece of him.

    Safety Numbers
    Ward: 7
    Melkor's Ghost: 5
    Pikachu: 3
    McGill: 6
    Pete: 7

    *Note: I was going to put a note about how these "backwords" get a lot better in the future, but the honest truth is they don't. In fact, they get worse. Much worse. Enjoy!
  14. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Oh no, I hate evil oxen. They're so bad.

    Ward will attempt to blind the evil ox with pawn scum. Sophia will rush back to the group and try to defend them if the evil ox charges them.
  15. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Day 4
    Time: 6:31am

    You are fighting an evil ox.

    Round 2

    Sophia turns back around toward the ox, but it's behind her now, heading toward the other members of the group.
    Ward tosses his pawn scum at the ox's eyes, but the throw misses its intended target. The scum splatters across some trees and on the ground.
    Pikachu launches a thunderbolt at the ox. It hits squarely, dealing four damage to the ox.
    Everyone else stand around doing nothing. Lazy bums.
    The evil ox tries to ram Ward, but fails to hit him.
    The evil ox steps on Pikachu's toe.
    The evil ox finishes his charge past the group and circles around for another charge.
    Sophia has rejoined the group.

    Status Updates
    Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack. He loses 1 life and 2 comfort from being trampled.
    Ward loses 1 energy from his action.
    The evil ox loses 4 life and 5 comfort.

    Safety Numbers
    Ward: 6
    Melkor's Ghost: 5
    Pikachu: 3
    McGill: 6
    Pete: 7
  16. Melkor Well-Known Member

    Maybe if I serve as a dekoy (sic) we can get this ox yoked.
  17. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    pete will attept to trip the ox with his net as it charges past. Maybe this will offset the past charges.
  18. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Ward hops on Sophia's back and, bicycle wheel in hand, prepares to block the evil ox from hitting the others with its charge.

    Oh, you are faster than me? Bullocks! McGill and I have a bovid monopoly going on here, and you aren't going to horn in on it, so we're going to hoove to put you down. Oh yes, we've been ruminanting on the subject, and you've been drafted for the slaughterhouse. Your attacks haven't even grazed us, but I'm going to plow right through you. I just gnu that these backwoods would be trouble...
  19. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Day 4
    Time: 6:32am

    You are fighting an evil ox.

    Round 3
    Melkor's Ghost serves as a decoy (or a sick dekoy), luring the ox in his direction. Melkor's Ghost is more vulnerable to being hit, but now the ox is yoked.
    The evil ox, being yoked, cannot charge. Instead, he plows through Ward's defense, steps over Pete's net and bows into Melkor's Ghost for a loss of 1 essence.
    The rapid-fire mobile pun turret revs up and starts blasting away in the general direction of the ox. Three shots sink into his flesh.

    Status Updates
    Melkor's Ghost loses 1 Essence and 1 Solidity.
    The evil ox loses 3 life and 3 comfort.

    Safety Numbers
    Ward: 10
    Melkor's Ghost: 4
    Pikachu: 7
    McGill: 7
    Pete: 7
  20. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Try to get closer, Sophia. I will attempt to strike it with this bicycle wheel.

    Yes, Ward. You spoke, and now I shall heed your instruction.

    Anon already used that pun...

    And now it's my...

    Your turn?

    Yes. Just one blow from that bicycle wheel should leave the evil ox feeling...


    Exactly! Now round this out for us.

    Um, er, evil ox: you are now being added to the axle of of evil!

    Ward swings his bicycle wheel at the evil ox.

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