Linux Troubleshooting Storm: A New Beginning (from the makers of Crapstorm)

Discussion in 'Games Run By CPA Members' started by turgy22, Aug 7, 2012.

  1. turgy22 Nothing Special

    The Pikanese-to-English translator provides an audio output. Also, that output can never be "Pika" as that would then be heard by the translator and thus create an infinite loop of Pikas, which would probably run the batteries down and make it hard for others to communicate. What you all heard from the translator was probably "pique a". But pique a what? The world may never know.

    Whoa, did Ward and Sophia just change talking colors? Or was Ward once a polecat?

    Getting on with things...

    "Yes, of course, we can provide you with food," says Bernie. He turns to a young red-haired elf nearby. "Elmo, go fetch them some cookies."

    "Elmo loves fetching cookies," the youngster replies. He then turns and ascends a large spiral staircase that runs around the perimeter of the tree, eventually disappearing when he reaches the floor above.

    Bernie talks some more. "You'll love our delicious cobbler cookies. We make them right here in our tree, right alongside our boots. They're really the only thing we eat and though we call them cookies, they're actually very healthy and tasty."

    Elmo then comes bounding back down the stairs, holding a plate of shoe-shaped cookies. They smell like feet and taste... like feet. They do fill everyone up, though.

    Bernie continues, "I'm afraid to say that we have no beds for creatures of your size, except perhaps the yellow fellow. I'm sure there's enough room to sleep in here, though, and we can bring extra pillows if you're uncomfortable."

    Pikachu goes upstairs and sleeps on an elf bed. Pete nestles in a corner. McGill, Ward and Sophia rest on the floor of the room and Melkor's Ghost hovers menacingly until everyone feels quite refreshed 8 hours later, until they are awoken by the sound of rattling baby dice.

    Early in the morning, Bernie comes down to the atrium, to offer more cookies and see you off. He leads the group outside and slowly approaches the bodies of the dispatched soldiers. He rifles through their pockets, but finds nothing. "I was hoping they would have information of where they originated. While we know that Dr. Swol lives deep in the Backwoods, we don't know exactly where. Since foot soldiers are easily lost, they usually travel with something to guide them home. Either these men here were not entrusted with that information or the athletic foot soldiers in the tree came down during the night and took it from them. I suppose it doesn't matter, though. You must climb our tree, anyway, and kill the soldiers on it. Hopefully, while doing so, we will recover a clue to their hideout."

    As he finishes his statement, something flies out at the group from overhead. It strikes Pikachu in the back, bursting forth with a cloud of white smoke that smells like talc.

    "Ah!" Ernie cries, "Foot powder bombs!" Then he runs, scared, back into the tree. The door slams shut with a lout thud.

    Day 5
    6:15 am

    Status Updates
    Everyone's energy is restored to 79.
    Everyone's fullness is restored to 78 (except Pete @ 79).
    Pikachu and Pete have their life and comfort completely restored.
    McGill and Ward gain 2 life and 4 comfort from resting.
    Pikachu feels exceptionally dry.

    The party is currently outside the Uggly Tree (in the Backwoods).
  2. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    "Pika!" Pikachu climbs and uses Iron Tail on the offending soldier.
  3. turgy22 Nothing Special

    "Combustible sausage," says the Pikanese-to-English translator (which will heretofore be referred to as the P2E).
  4. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    pete will scurry up the tree, start weaving an intricate wb with the words "some elf" spelled out in the middle. The placement of said web should provide some cover from the balmy bombs.
  5. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Ward and Sophia will use Sophia's newfound climbing talent to race up the tree and try to headbutt some soldiers.
  6. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Pete, being the best climber, scurries up the tree and spins his web while Pikachu, Ward and Sophia follow. It's not long before they make out a man-like shape moving about in the branches just ahead. He appears to be dressed like a ninja, with a mask covering his face and a samurai sword in one hand. With his free hand, he tosses another foot powder bomb, but it mostly sticks to Pete's web, turning the web white and chalky. Some throw.

    McGill and Melkor's Ghost make small talk at the base of the tree, occasionally looking up to see what's going on above them.

    Pete, Pikachu, Ward and Sophia climb on until they are on the branches even with the athletic foot soldier. He is quite sure-footed, moving deftly from branch to branch and quickly comes in range to attack while the climbers continue to advance.

    Day 5

    Time: 6:20 am

    You are fighting an athletic foot soldier.

    Level 1 (30 ft); Round 1

    The athletic foot soldier swings at Pete with his sword. The blade cuts into a tree branch just aside Pete's foot, felling the limb, but leaving the spider unharmed.
    Pikachu launches an Iron Tail attack. It misses the soldier and smacks into the tree, shaking all the branches. Pikachu loses his balance and tries to steady himself, but can't grab onto the tree with his dry, chalky hands. Pikachu falls out of the Uggly Tree and hits his undercarriage on 2 branches on the way down.
    Ward moves in close to headbutt the soldier, but hits him in the stomach, instead. The normally sure-footed soldier, loses his foothold and falls backward, down out of the Uggly Tree, hitting 2 branches on the way down.

    Status Updates
    Ward loses 2 energy from climbing and 1 energy from his attack.
    Pikachu loses 2 energy from climbing and 3 energy from his attack. Pikachu loses 2 life and 2 comfort from falling out of the tree. The fall seems to have knocked off all the foot powder, so now he's not feeling so dry anymore.
    Pete loses 1 energy from climbing and 1 energy and 1 fullness from making a web.
    The foot soldier loses 4 life and 5 comfort from getting hit in the stomach and knocked out of the tree.

    Safety Numbers
    Ward: 4
    Melkor's Ghost: 9
    Pikachu: 4
    McGill: 8
    Pete: 8

    Pete, Ward & Sophia are in the Uggly Tree (30 feet up).
    Pikachu, McGill and Melkor's Ghost are at the base of the Uggly Tree.
  7. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    pete will continue climging looking for other footsoldiers. when found, will weave a web blade for his lightsaber hilt and attack it.
  8. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    "Pika!" Pikachu again uses Iron Tail on the out-of-the-tree athletic foot soldier.
  9. turgy22 Nothing Special

    I almost forgot to post today. But I didn't.

    The P2E translator chirps "Feathers for barnacle."

    The battle shall continue tomorrow whether or not Oversoul, Rokapoke and Melkor decide to take the twelve seconds required to type their characters' next actions. Lazy bums.
  10. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Ward waits for Pete to draw out the hidden soldiers and then, once they reveal their locations, murders them with his fists while quoting literature.
  11. rokapoke Man Among Gods

    McGill angrily swings his gold violin at the foot soldier that was knocked out of the tree.

    "Now I have to get off my lazy duff, you jerk!"
  12. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Pete continues up the tree. Soon, he spots another athletic foot soldier just ahead. This one doesn't seem to notice as he approaches. Pete fashions his web saber.

    Ward looks up, moving slowly behind Pete and trying to remember his favorite lines from Dickens.

    Day 5

    Time: 6:21 am

    Pikachu, McGill and Melkor's Ghost (sort of) are fighting an athletic foot soldier.

    Level 1 (30 ft); Round 2
    The athletic foot soldier drops to the ground in front of McGill. He doesn't have time to react yet.
    McGill swings with the violin, but only glances the fallen soldier. Better luck next time.
    Pikachu needs a moment to get on his feet.

    Level 2 (60 ft); Round 1
    Pete attacks the higher foot soldier with his newly-fashioned blade. He slices his torso successfully.
    The foot soldier whips out his sword and takes a swing, but misses badly after not having time to get his bearings.
    Ward jumps up to punch the soldier in the butt, but he gets a cramp in his leg. It was the worst of times.

    Level 1 (30 ft); Round 3
    The athletic foot soldier grabs his sword and slices across McGill's legs, causing them to bleed profusely.
    McGill sucks up the pain for the time being and lays a solid blow to the soldier's arm with his violin.
    Pikachu launches his Iron Tail and smacks the soldier's leg.

    Status Updates
    The athletic foot soldier (1) loses 6 life and 10 comfort from his battle wounds.
    The athletic foot soldier (2) loses 4 life and 7 comfort from his battle wounds.
    McGill loses 4 energy from his attacks. McGill loses 10 life and 19 comfort. His legs are badly injured.
    Pete loses 1 energy from climbing. Pete loses 1 energy from his attack.
    Ward loses 2 energy from climbing. Ward loses 1 energy from his attack. Ward loses 2 life and 3 comfort from his leg cramp. Yes, it hurt that bad.
    Pikachu loses 3 energy from his attack.
    Melkor's Ghost loses 12 seconds off his afterlife for being lazy.

    Safety Numbers
    Ward: 3
    Melkor's Ghost: 9
    Pikachu: 3
    McGill: 6
    Pete: 6

    Pete, Ward & Sophia are in the Uggly Tree (60 feet up).
    Pikachu, McGill and Melkor's Ghost are at the base of the Uggly Tree.
  13. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Ward hides behind Sophia and his bicycle wheel in a manner that is not cowardly at all while trying to recover from his spontaneous leg cramp.
  14. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    pete will continue to harry the soldier with the sticky end of his sabre trying to gain even more of an advantage while buying ward and sophia some recovery time.
  15. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    "Pika!" Pikachu charges up an Energy Ball and throws it at the athletic foot soldier.
  16. rokapoke Man Among Gods

    McGill adopts a more defensive posture to protect his wounds.
  17. turgy22 Nothing Special

    Day 5
    Time: 6:23 am

    Pete, Ward and Sophia are fighting an athletic foot soldier.
    Pikachu, McGill and Melkor's Ghost (sort of) are fighting an athletic foot soldier.

    Level 2 (60 ft); Round 2
    Pete thrusts his blade at the athletic foot soldier. The soldier drops down a branch and Pete swings wildly downward, slicing into his own leg. The sudden shock causes him to lose his grip on the tree and he tumbles down out of the Uggly Tree, hitting 4 branches on the way down.
    The foot soldier goes after Ward, but the fall of his sword is deflected by the bike wheel.
    Ward cowers bravely behind the wheel. The cramp has passed.

    Level 1 (30 ft); Round 4
    The athletic foot soldier slices again at McGill, but McGill hobbles out of the way.
    Pikachu launches an Energy Ball at the soldier, hitting him squarely in the chest and nearly killing him.

    Status Updates
    The athletic foot soldier (1) loses 9 life and 13 comfort from getting hit by a ball.
    Pikachu loses 2 energy from his attack.
    Pete loses 1 energy from his attack. Pete loses 4 life and 6 comfort from stabbing himself in the leg. He loses another 4 life and 4 comfort falling out of the tree.

    Safety Numbers
    Ward: 8
    Melkor's Ghost: 9
    Pikachu: 3
    McGill: 9
    Pete: 5

    Ward & Sophia are in the Uggly Tree (60 feet up).
    Pete, Pikachu, McGill and Melkor's Ghost are at the base of the Uggly Tree.
  18. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    "Pikaaaaa!" Pikachu continues the beatdown with another Iron Tail.
  19. Melkor Active Member

    I wasn't much for fighting when I was alive, and now that I'm largely incorporeal my countenance justifies my cowardice.
  20. rokapoke Man Among Gods

    McGill adopts a more aggressive stance and tries to bludgeon the foot soldier with his gold violin.

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