On the argument of the "first come, first rights" thing, well then, let's take that and use it to declare:
-The first "Western" records of marriages were actually way back in ancient Babylonian times. We also get the "honeymoon" phrase from back then, as well. (If anybody knows of more ancient records, please speak up). These happened far before Christian times, so they should get precedence. What does this mean? Well, it means ancient Babylonian churches get full dibs on marriage ceremonies, and thus it is the Christians who are corrupting things with their evil ways of trying to take them over.
-Additionally, there are older records of marriages. Egyptian emperors had multiple wives, so it seems that marriage should be overseen by Egypt and that polygamy is totally okay as long as you're a wealthy land-owner. Christians, again, have tried to corrupt this time-honored sacred bond between sons of God and their thriteen wives.
-Religion itself is claim to whoever had the decency wo worship a divine entity first. Christians, being merely a step aside from Judaism, are totally void in their beliefs as all they did was rip off Jewish faith. Evil! Corrupt! All Christians should go to temple and ask about converting to Judaism. Sadly, Jews were not the first reiligious folks. In turn, all Christians turned to Jews, and all Jews (and all Muslims) must turn to whatever the Old Testament ripped off so many ages ago.
Gays we can argue about another time. Then again, the ancient Greeks and Japanese are both on record as condoning gay relationships. So...I guess their time-honored tradition should supercede any merely 2000-year-old beliefs.