Corrupted Wishes game

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by orgg, Jul 27, 2005.

  1. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    You wish. But the fried chicken liver makes you very sick.

    I wish I knew what fried liver tasted like...
  2. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRAANTED!

    You drive to the nearest Cracker Barrel for a taste of fried liver. After you tasted it, you wish you hadn't done so... but unfortunately, you didn't type that so that wish is NOT granted. You spend the rest of the night alternating between heaving in the bathroom and washing dishes to pay for the liver AND cleaning the bathroom.

    I wish I got more than a 28.8 connection speed on my dial-up
  3. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    GRANTED!!!! The lord (whichever it is you believe in) takes pity on you, but also decides to poke fun at you. He uses his godly powers to raise your internet connection to 28.9. As you notice no change whatsoever, you hear an omnipotent laughter ring through the neighborhood. You pay no attention and curses while you wait forever for your porn to download.



    I wish for no more B.O.!

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  4. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Granted. People now smell like nothing. And oxygen smells like rotting cabbage.

    I wish I didn't have to clip my toenails.
  5. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted! You trip and fall, breaking your neck. No need to worry about clipping toenails.

    I wish that all the TV stations would merge into one channel

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  6. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRRAANTED!

    However, trying to follow all of the shows on a single screen causes you to lose your eyesight. Then you are left trying to follow each show by listening, which causes you to lose your hearing. You forget that you don't have a Braille-type TV nor has a Scratch-N-Smell TV been invented nor a Taste TV, so you wear out touch and smell and taste senses trying to get to your shows.

    Then your TV falls on you and crushes you.

    I wish I had the Donkey Kong stand-up arcade game
  7. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    GRANTED! Although, it doesn't stand up for long. It falls on you just when you're about to get the high score. Although your legs are broken, you keep playing the game, determine to etch you name with the all-time great of DK. Unfortunately, just 2 1/2 points away from victory, your house loses its power.......and then an asteroid lands on you.

    I wish that I could remember my dreams in detail.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  8. orgg Administrator

    Granted! Now you remember why you kept forgetting them, and your writing talents arn't even as good as H. P. Lovecraft, so you cannot capitalize on the gnormless horrors your mind generates.

    I wish I had a chick...
    who'd suck my oink
  9. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    You are given a chick. This chick has a horrible virus that makes it very sick. The chick loses its eyesight, but survives the disease. Before it recovers, the virus mutates so that it can infect mammals, and your last thoughts as you die painfully in the hospital after a few weeks, is that you have now spread this contagion to the rest of the world, and it will probably kill most of them.

    I wish I was immune to this disease that is now spreading across the globe.
  10. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted! Knowing the world's fate is sealed, a Drunk russian pushes the button to start the nuclear war. The first target, interestingly enough, is the area of skin between your balls. Have fun!

    I wish that I wasn't there to witness Oversoul's balls being split by a warhead.


    Ransac, cpa trash man
  11. orgg Administrator

    You arn't! You're inside the sack, and cannot see the warhead hit a quarter of an inch in front of you!

    I wish I didn't know about Invisitext and how to use it in this thread.
    'cause I keep making smartass comments and nobody here knows to highlight the text and check it
  12. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    We all ambush you and give you a lobotomy for being such a smartass. Now you don't know about Invisitext, or much of anything else.

    I wish I had thought of the invisitext thing before Theorgg did.
  13. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRRAANTED!

    However, now you and the orgg are engaged in an Invisitext battle, to see whom could top whom! Eventually, the whole thread degenerates to Invisitext, which confuses new readers and more importantly, the search bots that catalog this site. Without being cataloged, the site falls off the Internet radar and languishes in Internet Limbo.

    I wish I was on a Caribbean cruise right now
  14. orgg Administrator

    Granted!

    However, the Caribbean Cruise is one from the 1940's, and is at the bottom of the bay of Pigs! Can you breathe water?

    I wish that nobody had seen the invisitext in this post.
  15. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted! Not only has no one seen the Invisitext, but nothing at all, since everyone's eyes have now been turned into pudding. The pain is excruciating and in the process, a drunk russian accidentally hits the "button", causing New Zealand to spontaneously combust..........and an asteroid lands on you.

    I wish I knew how the invistext thing worked

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  16. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    You are diagnosed with a terminal illness. In your last days, you are playing against The orgg on Magic Online. You casually ask about the invisitext thing, and he explains it to you. One minute later, you begin having agonzing convulsions, which last until your death, four days later.

    I wish I were the CPW champion, instead of Ransac.
  17. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted. You challenge the Great One to a CPW title match. However, he misses his flight to the arena and you are awarded the championship. You celebrate in typical style until theorgg lumbers out to the ring and demands a title shot. The ref says no, but theorgg steps on you anyway. You lie in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the neck down, but with title in hand.

    I wish to win the CPW title back! :D

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  18. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRAANTED!

    Oversoul is humilated in a rematch. However, finding out how easy it is to confuse you with plane flights, he keep re-challenging you and giving you wrong information about when the fight would take place. Strangely, you never catch on. You spend the rest of your life in an airport, trying to make a flight to the next championship rematch.

    I wish the Voltron cartoons would come out on DVD
  19. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    So do I....

    Granted. However, they cost 498.92 + S&H. The huge fan that you are doesn't care about this and gladly pays. However, what you didn't know until you started watching it was that you bought the Special Edition: MJ version. All the voices have been dubbed over by Michael Jackson. Then, the DVD remote breaks. along with the TV Remote. The buttons on the appliances don't respond. And an asteroid falls on you, rendering it impossible to escape the torture.


    I wish the Freakazoid Cartoons would come out on DVD

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  20. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Granted. However, they cost $4,198.92 + S&H. The huge fan that you are doesn't care about this and gladly pays. However, what you didn't know until you started watching it was that you bought the Special Edition: MJ version. All the voices have been dubbed over by Michael Jackson. Then, the DVD remote breaks. along with the TV Remote. The buttons on the appliances don't respond. And an asteroid falls on you, rendering it impossible to escape the torture.

    I wish my computer would come back to life.

Share This Page