Corrupted Wishes game

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by orgg, Jul 27, 2005.

  1. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRRAAANTED!

    It doesn't suck, it's the best cycle ever! So much that all the rest of the following cycles suck.

    I wish I won the Golden Ticket so I could visit Willy Wonka's factory
  2. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted!!! However, your trip to the factory ends 5 minutes into it when Willy Wonka pulls a lever that drops the floor out from underneath his guests.............leading straight to a grinder. "Hmm, I wonder how people-flavored nerds will taste" you hear him say as you go through the blades and teeth.

    I wish that I had invented the internet.


    Ransac, cpa trash man
  3. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    You invented the internet and you are also violently murdered by a clan of internet-haters. Fortunately, you backed yourself up on your computer and become one with the internet. Your life inside the internet is relatively happy until years later, when you die a second painful death from spyware, which is poisonous to you in your new form. Bits of code taken from you after your death are used by evil scientists to create the ultimate spyware.

    I wish I could breathe water.
  4. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRRAANTED!

    However, that's all you breathe now and will you look at that, you're not in water now. You die a suffocating death as you turn on your bathtub and wait for it to fill.

    I wish grass didn't grow so tall so I'd have to mow it
  5. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted. not only does grass not grow anymore, but all plant-life on the planet ceases. This causes the carbon-monoxide content to build up tremendously, since Photosynthesis can no longer occur. You, and everyone else but me :)D) dies a slow, but painless, death.

    I wish that I could find my other shoe


    Ransac, cpa trash man
  6. orgg Administrator

    You sit down and ponder where your shoe could be. OOPS! It was sitting toe-up in the chair you plopped down in! I should remind you that you're a strict republican, and not in any way liberal about your anus. To top the pain/embarassing doctor visit off, there was a fungus on the toe of the shoe. It spread before the doctor could remove it. Itchy!

    I wish I could catch Sac-Man on MOL more often
  7. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    You are locked in a deranged dungeon by a deranged psychopath. You survive by eating rats and drinking Powerade (a truly deranged beverage to keep in such a deranged dungeon), which is stored in cases next to a deranged computer, which gives you access to MOL. For some reason, Sac-man shows up a lot on MOL and you are able to catch him there numerous times before you die of kidney failure thanks to toxins in the rats or maybe the Powerade.

    I wish for omniscience.
  8. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRRAAANTED!

    You now know everything. However, your brain wasn't meant to hold this amount of information and it swells and causes you to fall into a coma. However, you're not brain-dead so no one can pull the plug, so your family runs into debt keeping you alive. Your name becomes the family curse and cause of their descent into poverty.

    I wish I never got sick
  9. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted! You never got sick. In fact, YOU NEVER WERE BORN!!!!! The fact is, the world blew up 15 secs before you were born, causing you to never get sick!

    I wish that my new college would get my finances straight!


    Ransac, cpa trash man
  10. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Your new college gets your finances straight, but a few months later a mistake is made which causes you to lose all of your finances. Or maybe it wasn't a mistake...

    I wish I had toes.
  11. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted! Not only do you have toes, but they are gangerous and moldy. Plus, they're spreading, causing your entire body to break out in toes. Whenever they touch something, they fall off and pain sears throughout your entire body. Then, a cow fall over on you.

    I wish that I had a walnut named Barry!

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  12. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    GRRANTED!

    Unfortunately, it's last name is Manilow. It proceeds to sing all of his namesake's songs non-stop, to which you put an end by sticking it in a nutcracker. Now there's no more Barry!

    I wish I had all of the Wizardry games
  13. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    You sleepwalk and steal all of the Wizardry games. You don't remember stealing them, and can only assume that you have them because of your wish. However, someone saw you with them and you are arrested for your crime.

    I wish Ransac had a walnut named Barry.
  14. Chaos Turtle Demiurgic CPA Member, Admin Assistant

    GRANTED!

    You are now a walnut named Barry. Ransac has you and may do as he pleases with you.

    I wish I hadn't typed that just now...
  15. orgg Administrator

    You didn't! I have to grant his wish, you bastart!

    ...You are now a walnut named Barry. Ransac puts you in his pocket, where you begin to sing Barry Manilow songs until Ransac decides he wishes to put you in a nutcracker and eat you.

    I wish... I wish I was a Lumberjack, Swinging from tree to tree with my best gal by my side!
  16. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted! You, unfortunately, wish you did very effeminate things, like wearing bras, pressing wild flowers, and hoping to be like your mom. Your best gal leaves you, no longer thinking you're that rugged, the choir stops singing and leaves in disgust,....... and an asteroid lands on you.


    I wish that orgg would be on MGO when I am!

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  17. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Orgg drinks something that makes him completely insane. He hunts you down, puts you on MGO with him, and after you can't stand it any more and beg to be released, he kills you and then himself.

    I wish for Buddha.
  18. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Granted! Buddha lands on you.

    I wish that Space Teletubbies would kill the Pop Culture!!!!!

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  19. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Unbeknownst to you, "Pop Culture" is your liver's official name. The space teletubbies do a good job of killing it though.

    I wish Ransac had a new liver.
  20. orgg Administrator

    Ransac's new liver is from a chicken, and is fried. I then eat it, as I love fried chicken liver... and Ransac's body lands on you.

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