Corrupted Wishes game

Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You are captured and sold as a slave in some remote location (like Texas). You are trained as a cook (and a very good one) and forced to cook for your cruel master for the rest of your life until he beats you too much for some random thing and you die from your wounds.

I wish that Ransac's master would be brought to justice.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
GRANTED!!!!!!!! Ransac's old master is caught, tried, and throw in prison for life. He shares a cell with recently convicted Child Pornography freak, Oversoul. Ransac's old master then denotes Oversoul as his "special" cell-mate.

I wish that I could fart Hurricanes out of my rear


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Do I really have to say how this one will come back to do something unfortunate to you? I mean, you can fart hurricanes. That's not to say you'll use your power, but I sort of doubt you could resist. And when you fall for the temptation, you will be somewhere in a hurricane, probably pretty close to the eye, but I guess it really depends on the mechanics behind your whole hurricane-farting thing...

I wish I knew who framed me for the child-pornography thing.
 
E

evan d

Guest
Wish granted! You now know who framed you, it was yourself. Now you still have to go to jail now. Hope you dont mind guys.

I wish I had all the cards for making my red deck.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! After getting the last one, you get a papercut on your wrist. A deep one too. Ooooo, looks fatal to me. You try to stop the bleeding, but the pressure of the flowing blood is too strong. You fall to the ground and attempt to reach for the phone, but it's just out of reach. Right before you die...............an asteroid falls on you.

I wish that the Yankees wouldn't make the playoffs!

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Some aliens play a prank and the clip is downloaded into everyone's brains. Unfortunately, the technology they use for this gives us all brain cancer.

I wish that I hadn't gotten an "error downloading codec" message when downloading that clip.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! The codec downloads successfully, but your computer explodes, sending shrapnel into your brain.


I WISH FOR MORE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You are waiting at a crosswalk when a cheese truck collides with another truck. You are smacked by the cheese truck and sent flying through the air. When you land, the cheese bursts from its container and smothers you with its cheesy goodness. When you are pronounced dead at the scene, the coroner exclaims, "What a cheesy way to die" but no one laughs at his joke.

I wish someone would laugh at that poor coroner's jokes.
 
N

Nightstalkers

Guest
Oooh, tough one... but... If you really wish it... Now whenever the coroner tells any kind of a joke, the closes dead animal, person, or plant rattles to life with laughter. This miraculous stunt allows the coroner to be an instant celebrity, only to be shot in a funeral home holdup and laugh at some other coroner's bad jokes.

I wish... that WotC would stop reprinting Vizzerdrix and Trained Orgg
 
T

theorgg

Guest
Granted! Now they print Lesser Vizzerdrix and Potty Trained Orgg.

The 5/5s for seven splashable mana each are now quite easy to obtain, assuming you purchase any pack at all, as they come one per pack. In perpetuality.

I wish I knew how to get a job.
 
E

EricBess

Guest
Granted...Unfortunately, it is a fairly old profession (some call it "the oldest") and there are some fairly major occupational hazzards, as you soon learn. As your body slowly rots away from you, you contemplate how much nicer it was before you got this job.

I wish for more wishes
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! You get more wishes. But, after every wish you make, you get kicked in the balls by a random, flying boot. You attempt to wish this away to no avail, and you grow frustrated. You scream "I WISH I WOULDN'T GET HIT IN THE BALLS EVERY TIME I MAKE A WISH"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, a meteor lands on you.

I wish for less cheese.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
A mysterious virus causes a great cheese famine across the globe. Cheese becomes a rare and valuable commodity trafficked illegally by mobsters. You are an accidental victim of a war between two rival gangs. After being shot in the spinal cord, you are paralyzed in the hospital. You crave cheese, but there is none to be had. You slowly go mad from the agony of cheese deprivation.

I wish for water.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
A helicopter drops you in one of the flooded, abandoned neighoborhoods in New Orleands. The fall breaks both of your legs and the water is contaminated wit Typhoid and Cholera. You contract both of these diseases. And you die TWO slow deaths.

I wish I hadn't gone there.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
O

orgg

Guest
Granted! Now every time you've ever been to 'Narlins is eradicated from your mind, and the non-human and historic tragedy is lessened in your mind, causing your brain to focus more on the painful loss of human life rather than the simply saddening historical impact.

I wish I knew why it hurts when I pee, and that Frank Zappa was still alive.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Oh wow. You sit this up perferctly.

While taking a piss, Frank Zappa slides out in your stream, gnawing on a strip of you bladder he took with him.


I wish for CORN MUFFINS!!!!!!!!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
The delivery man, who is bringing you delicious corn muffins, is also carrying a pizza for some reason. He trips on your doorstep and the hot cheese scars your face horribly.

I wish for omnipotence.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
You have become omnipotent and know all. Life now bores you. You kill yourself since there is nothing left to do.

I wish for Necropotence


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
O

orgg

Guest
You have become Necropotent, and control death. Life now bores you. You try to kill yourself, but since by being Necropotent you must be dead, you can only tell everybody that you meet that you belong dead.

I wish someone would reply to my "Remember M.U.S.C.L.E." thread... Or actually comment on what I thought was an AWESOME video.
 
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