Corrupted Wishes game

[Ransac]

Granted! Well, as can be expected, the "Oscar Meyer" company breaks into your house and kidnaps you. They take you to one of their weiner factories and toss you into one of the grinder. Normally, this would be a rather quick death, but the grinder freezes up after it devours your legs. You scream in pain while they fix it and get it back on. However, it freezes again as it reaches your pelvis. You're thinking "Shouldn't I be dead from loss of blood" while they fix it again. The last of you goes through and you entirety is encased into one giant-sized weiner molding. You are then fed to wild pigs............and then a meteor lands on them.


I wish that Atogs were real!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Istanbul]

Granted. However, since atogs eat artifice, and almost all of civilization counts as artifice, they rapidly devour all of civilization in the name of brief +2/+2 bonuses. You are left with no internet, no car, no phone, no electricity....humanity is reduced to the Stone Age.

I wish for meteors never to be mentioned in this thread again.

(C'mon, people. Be creative.)

 

[Ransac]

Granted. The desired objects no longer become mentioned in this thread. However, Ransac's immaturity builds up, no longer having a way to vent out. Ransac goes on a killing spree, funded by the government(don't ask why) and takes out the entire southwest. Why the southwest? Deserts piss him off...

Oh, and an ASTEROID lands on Istanbul.


I wish that Mount Rushmore was made of Ice Cream


Ransac, cpa trash man


<I'm not flaming at you, but it does kinda tick me off that you'd want to restrict what people post on an Off-Topic thread>

 

[orgg]

Granted!

Now the most amazing man-made sculpture is melted. Thanks alot, Anus Hat.

I wish Sefro would post on this thread.

 

[Oversoul]

You are posting in some other thread, not giving any thought to your wish, when SeFRo sneaks up behind you and garrotes you as you type, then posts on this thread as you. But none of us know that it is SeFRo and not you.

I wish I had no tongue.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! A leprechan jumps out of your bed and claims that his pot of gold is yours! When your guard is down, he rips off his mask to reveal that he's really Michael Jackson. As you scream, he cuts out your tongue and runs off, screaming something about getting plastic surgery to graft it to his back. In all the fuss, an Ice Cream truck explodes.

Why did the Ice Cream truck explode?

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Because you have cancer.

I wish I understood how Ransac's cancer caused an ice cream truck to explode.

 

[orgg]

Because Ransac was in the Ice Cream Truck, and has Explosive Cancer. Duh.

I wish... I wish the cow gave milk... I wish to go to the festival... I wish we had some bread... I wish the cow gave milk... I wish... I wish...

 

[Oversoul]

Your cow gives milk, but the milk your mother gets killed by some with a stick. You get to go to the festival, but then you get married to this guy who cheats on you. You get bread and also die or something (I really don't remember who wished for bread).

I wish I could remember who it was that wished for bread in that play...

 

[jorael]

And you do, but that's not all! You start to remember EVERYTHING! Your mind does not forget. You remember every detail from years past as good as what you did today. Your body start to make more brain tissue to store all your memories. Your brains grows and grows until your skull cracks. Your brains keeps on growing, absorbing all the blood from the rest of your body. This whole process is paired with extreme pains, which you cannot forget.
When your brains gets the size of a big truck the Army comes in and starts a killing spree, because they believe aliens have landed. You die after 20,000 rounds of ammunition have pierced your brains.

In the after life you still remember each bullet penetrating your head.

I wish that I had a titanium skeleton and super regeneration powers, just like Wolverine.



EDIT: yes, that's what I meant, adamantium. Guess I need to fesh up my X-men knowledge...

 

[Ransac]

Granted. A freak accident at a cafeteria (involving spoiled milk and lunchmeats) gives you the special power to regenerate scars, bruises, etc. You decide to emulate your favorite X-Men character by getting a titanium skeleton (because adamantium was too expensive) grafted in you and get expensive surgery to do this. However, you die of bubonic plague shortly after the skeleton surgery.

I wish for cheese!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

A large astroid of cheese falls on you, smothering you in gooey melted goodness.

I wish I hadn't eaten all three pounds of broccoli and the entire stick of Velveeta in half an hour.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! You now ate them in 15 minutes!


I wish that all celestial moving objects were allowed to be used in this thread from now on!

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

Wish granted! Istanbul's Moon hits you right on the face. Then lands upon your shoulders.

I wish that Ransac had eaten the three pounds of broccoli and whole stick of Velveeta cheese instead of me

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. Ransac's stomach doesn't take all that brocolli and fake cheese too well, and he is wroth with you for making that wish. So he shaves you skin off with a dull razor and throws bricks at you until you die.

I wish I had my internet service restored.

 

[Spiderman]

GRAAANTED!

However, for some reason your computer becomes the magnet for all the pop-up ads and spam mail. While the rest of the world is happy, you rue your wish until your dying day.

I wish beer tasted good

 

[Ransac]

Granted. The beer-makers of the world put a drug in the beer that makes it tastes like the drinker's favorite drink. HOWEVER, this drug brings with it a 100% chance of contracting cancer, usually in the testicular and nipple areas. You die a very slow and painful death, only to realize that Soyent Green is People.................. and then a comet lands on you.


I really wish I hadn't eaten that 3 broccoli and whole stick of Velveeta cheese.

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Poof. You ate 30 fetal pigs instead.

I wish for water.

 

[orgg]

You're now underwater. Three hundred feet underwater. Can you breath water?

I wish I didn't have three balls.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! You're neutered.......without anesthetic..........and an asteroid lands on you afterwards.


I wish that the next cycle of Magic doesn't suck.

Ransac, cpa trash man