Corrupted Wishes game

[evan d]

Wish granted! You do win the election, but unfortunately you are assassinated within seconds of swearing in. (this is in no way a threat upon the life of a president or a president to be or even a wishing to be a president).

I wish to be the first man to have 1 million girl friends.

 

[Istanbul]

Wish granted.

...that's it. After the first hundred or so, you'll realize why that wish is actually a curse.

I wish to know what to wish for.

 

[Oversoul]

You get your wish. You know exactly what to wish for, and it's so good that you are tormented each day that you used your wish already, and can no longer use it to obtain the wish you now know to wish for. You eventually get over this, but it comes back to you by surprise many years later while you're slicing a bagel. In your distraction, you cut off your own thumb.

I wish for tentacles.

 

[Istanbul]

Wish granted. You are hereby the recipient of one Yaoi (tm) brand Tentacle Monster. His name is Fred, and he thinks you have a pretty mouth.

I wish I hadn't made this wish.

 

[evan d]

Wish granted! You didn't make that wish. You wished for death in your infinate ******* oh wait he's a mod and on MtG, infinate intelligence.

I wish for infinate intelligence.

 

[Oversoul]

And reality is warped so that there is such a thing as "infinate" intelligence. It's a disease. It's similar to measles, but much worse.

I wish Evan d could spell.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! However, you realized that he's been mispelling EVERYTHING even more poorly than you anticipated. Turns out everything he types is another link to a gay porn/virus inducing website. You become so upset at this that you start going into a rage over how sick a mind this person has. While in the middle of your tirade, another meteor lands on you.


I wish that the CPA gave free, non-lethal candy on a monthly basis to everyone that's been a member since before October 2000


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Killer Joe]

However, since you live in Tennessee, and thusly have rotting teeth that bleed at will, you're unable to enjoy the candy and will die a sad pittiful death for not having experienced the joy of the sugary Flav-ah of candy.

I wish I could go on a date with Charlize Theron while she's dressed in her Aeon Flux costume.

 

[Oversoul]

Didn't know she was a serial killer, eh? Well now you do. Too little too late though.

I wish I knew what Killer Joe was talking about when he said "Charlize Theron" and "Aeon Flux."

 

[Limited]

Granted
Now you know, you can't think of anything else. The voices in your head tell you that she wants you too, so you take to stalking poor Charlize. After years of stalking her, she finally gives in and marries you.
Then you discover, she's a troll. (not just an ugly woman, a real honest to god Troll). You are trapped raising your trollspawn

I wish David Lynch would make a movie about my life

 

[Nightstalkers]

Granted! The movie is so bad, that people start making cults and eventually you leave the country to live in some deserted part of the world where you don't have to trick your mailman into opening your mail in case of biological threats or bombs.

I wish I didnt' have to worry about that quadruple bypass...

 

[Spiderman]

GRAAANTED!

And now you don't have to worry about breathing or eating either.

I wish I knew Ura was going to post here so I would have posted a Happy Birthday thread for him last week

 

[Limited]

Granted!

Knowing that Urza was going to post popped into your head last week, but then you got distracted by a bag of Doritos and forgot to post a Happy Birthday thread for him. Yesterday you PM Urza, telling him you are sorry you forgot, and he forgives you because you couldn't have known he'd be posting here..

but then today he reads your wish and sees that it was granted (single timeline, gotta love it) and sees that you did know, so comes over with a shotgun.

I wish I wouldn't waste so much of my time thinking about the life of fish

 

[Killer Joe]

All fish have been turned into floating pies and you die of a lack of iodine therefore ruining your chances of ever going public with your diabolical plan to rule the earth through tuna dominance.

I wish I were an animated Sci-Fi action hero.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! After two shows, you're show gets cancelled for incorrectly depicting Arab-Americans in a horrible stereotype. Any trace of the show gets burned, the animators get shot..........and in your last episode aired, a meteor lands on you.


I wish that everytime I picked the winner of a sports game, no matter how much of an underdog, they would always win.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Your newfound ability gives you quite the edge in wagers over competitions. However, a crazy person (from this forum, but I won't say which one) catches on. He captures you, tortures you to death, then cooks and eats your brain in an attempt to gain your power.

I wish people would kick it up a notch with the corruption part of this game.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! You are drawn and quartered by four horses, afterwhich your private parts are mounted on Nightstalker's wall as a trophy, while theorgg makes a new breechcloth out of the rest of you.



I wish that nothing tasted like chicken!

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Poof! Now everything tastes acrid--except for you. You taste wonderful. When someone catches you licking yourself, the truth is revealed to others, and you are harvested for your great taste. Little bits of you are sold to rich people all over the world.

I wish I really did have trollspawn...

 

[Ransac]

Granted. This ends horribly, NOT because your trollspawn would revolt against his parents and kill them. Quite the opposite. The trollspawn becomes a loyal child and eventually kills anything that you ask it to (lawyers, debt collectors, etc). Unfortunately, a meteor lands on him and one of his bone impales your heart. You use your dying breath to tell your dead trollspawn that you love him, only to suffer cruel fate from his post-mortem bowel muscle spasms.

I wish that all people had paper skin and glass bones!!!!!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You might have been planning on killing us all off my wishing our bones to be glass and our skin to be paper. But the glass is a special kind of glass that supports us, and the paper is a special kind of paper that also supports the rest of our bodies. People are not happy about the change, and they slowly burn your skin off, then crush one of your glass bones each day until you die, starting with your phalanges and inward.

I wish I would get hit by a meteor.