A "Whimsical" set...

Discussion in 'Home Made Cards' started by Whimsical, Sep 3, 2000.

  1. Thrash Golem New Member

    "is that the room where they make the secret ingredient?"

    "grunka lunka dunkety dingredients, you shoud not ask about the secret ingredients!"

    "okay, okay we get the point!"

    "well i was just curious because of the armed guards."

    "grunka lunka dunkety darngards, ..."

    "shut the hell up!!"
  2. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    Thwip! Thwip! Thwip!
  3. Almindhra Magic's Bitch

    Hey Whimsical, for your next little story could you add me as a character?
  4. Whimsical Adorable Sliver

    After asking mister Emperor Cat to supply moi with a few details concerning the REAL crew of the Weatherlight ... I think it's high time I get back to the misadventures of the crew of the Weatherlost... :D

    <camera pans for an overhead shot of the remnants of the Weatherlost stranded on the beach of Big Bad Foozle Island, then zooms in on the deck of the ship to focus on a ravishing bird maiden running for the open doorway of the captain's cabin>

    Zadok (panting heavily): Darn ...<gasp> bloody ... stupid <wheeze>... godsblasted ... <pant, pant> avian maniac!!! I'll have Purple scrubbing the decks for next year or so when this over!!! <eyes shattered deck as he runs> Or what's left of it anyways... A bird maiden of all things!

    Apollo (in a distant voice): Aha!!!

    Zadok: Aha? <sees the fast-closing shadow of Apollo> Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk!!! <runs inside the cabin, slamming the door shut> Eeeeekkkk? #@%&^%#@ estrogen!

    Apollo (starts banging on the door): Come out, mon cherie! I will take you to heights you only imagined! We will fly high, you and I!

    Zadok (groans): And I had to be turned into a RAVISHING bird maiden at that... <eyes cleavage> Nice... What in the HELLS am I DOING?! Bad hands! Bad, bad hands!!! Stop fondling meeeeeeeeeee!!! Hey, it feels nice... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    <meanwhile, off in the aft deck>

    Cat (raises pie pan to beat PPE on the head over with): Eat this you Dwarven Pony!

    PPE: Ouch! <swings a pie in both hands in a cymbals-like motion> Despotic Scepter!

    Cat (spluttering): Oh, hey ... what time is it?

    PPE: 3 in the afternoon ... <looks slightly puzzled> Why?

    Cat: Catnap time! <curls up and starts snoring>

    PPE: Feh. <tosses aside the pie he was about to cream Cat with> At least he's not a British cat ... then he'd be asking for tea with a touch o' catnip in it... speaking of which ... <gives an evil grin and starts raiding the pantry> I know it's here somewhere...

    <at the beach>

    Purple (to no one in particular): But it wasn't my fault! Darn lousy unreliable magic... <pulls out a small weather-beaten book from out of nowhere and squints at the title> Necro ... omicon ... for dummies? Humph. Must be that missing tome of Necropotence mother kept egging me to read... <shrugs and starts reading> 'La, 'la! Hastur! 'la Hastur! .........

    What will happen to Zadok when Apollo finally bashes the door down? Will our fearless captain finally stop playing with his new-found body? What evil scheme is Pie-Eater planning against Emperor Cat while he slumbers? Will Purple realize she's reading the wrong book? Will Spidey finally manage to climb the wall? Will Sleepy's dark history be finally revealed? All this and more in the next installment of ... <drum roll please> The Weatherlost saga!!!

    'Till next time! :D
  5. Whimsical Adorable Sliver

    I'll work you in the story somehow, Mindi ... mister Thrash Golem sir and the adorable mogg accountant will be worked in too ... gawd. I think I'm in over my head... :)
  6. dw51688 The Mad Scientist

    Can I be in it, like a manic psycho pyro person?
  7. Jaws10387 Hiding


    That would fit you quite well Dennis.
  8. Apollo Bird Boy

    The weirdest part is, this is a million times more interesting than the actual Weatherlight saga...

    And I've changed my mind. I think Zadok should be voted sexiest;)
  9. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    *singing as he attempts yet another climb*

    "Zadok's, too sexy for this ship, too sexy for this ship..."
  10. Zadok001 CPA Founder, Greater Good

    [me] thinks that 'No comment' is the best thing to say at this point... [/me]
  11. Whimsical Adorable Sliver

    <back inside the captain's cabin>

    Zadok (breathing heavily): For my sake ... that door had BETTER hold. <listens to Apollo's amorous appeals with a shudder> And I'd better do something about these blasted hands of mine ... <sits on them with a thump> My butt feels nice... Aaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    <down in the hold>

    Spidey: <crash!> Maybe it's my grip? <run, run, crash!> The way I hold the wood? <run, crash!> ^%%&#&^%#*^&# wall!!! <collapses in a heap beside a snoring Sleepy> As to how HE can sleep at a time like this ... when my honor is at stake and all. Grrr... hey. <scenery starts to blur in an odd nauseating way> What's that nauseating shift in the scenery? Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!! Flashbackkkkkk!!!

    <somewhere off the coast of Urburp>

    Zadok (at the prow of the then intact Weatherlost): Why are we in Urburp, again? And get off the rigging, Spidey!!! <crash, groan> Dagnabbit.

    Apollo: Ummm ... because ... we ... are ... supposed ... <squints at something in the distance>

    Purple: Why are you talking like that, bird boy?

    Apollo (calmly points to the script placard hovering in the air): Because that thing is too far away to read properly! <said placard promptly floats closer> Oh. We're here because the author said so.

    entire crew: Huh?!

    Purple: Oh, great. Stuck somewhere because of author whim. <groans> Why IS this place called Urburp anyhow?

    Zadok (points off to the bubbly swamp ... entire crew watches a bubble rise off the miasma, and pop to release a burp which registers on the Richter scale): Happy? And somebody get Spidey off the rigging! <crash, groan>

    Purple: Very punny...

    <fast forward to some dank dismal crypt in the heart of Urburp>

    Cat: I HATE these fast-forward sequences... <groans, looking pasty-faced> I really do. Hey. <ears perk up> Anybody else hear that?

    PPE: Hear what? What do your keen hunter-killer sense detect, Cat? Danger? <pie pans swish out from under his arm in preparation>

    Cat: Can't you hear it? The Call of the Wild?

    PPE: The nifty green enchantment?

    Cat: Nope. The natural one. <runs helter-skelter for a bush>

    PPE: Jeez. You guys go on ahead. I'll stay with Emperor Cat until his potty-break is over. :D <the rest of the crew just groan and open the door to the crypt>

    Zadok (pulling out a sword): Stay sharp, people. No telling what we'll meet in a dank dismal tomb.

    Apollo: Kinda like that spitting slug last time that went after Purple? <snicker, snicker>

    Purple: I resent that remark, bird brain!

    Spidey: Har, har! I remember that! It kept going, "Show me your rack, baby and I'll even let you twiddle my ivory tower!" Har, har, har! <both Spidey, Apollo, and Zadok burst out laughing>

    Purple (blushing): Oh, shut up!

    Unknown dark and creepy voice complete with resonance: Who dares to disturb my eternal slumber? <red eyes glare at them from the furthest shadows>

    Zadok: It is I, Zadok, the fearless captain of the Weatherlost! <strikes a pose with sword raised>

    Apollo: And I, Apollo, cabin boy of the Weatherlost! <strikes a pose, wings flaring>

    Spidey: And me, Spidey, first mate of the Weatherlost! <strikes a pose, impressive muscles bulging>

    Purple (rolls eyes at their antics): Gimme a break.

    Apollo: Dagnabbit. You ALWAYS have to go and ruin our into, Purple.

    Purple: Puh-leaze.

    Zadok: Apollo's right! Why don't you ever join us in these silly but dramatic introductory poses?

    Spidey: Yeah? Why not?

    Unknown dark and creepy voice complete with resonance: Will you guys pay attention to the unknown dark and creepy voice complete with resonance?! Jeez. Ahem. <steps out of the shadow, a scrawny young man with a billowing cloak> My name is Snorelax and I am a ... <dramatic pyrotechnics ensue, blinding everyone> a vampire!!!

    Purple (giggling): Reeeeaaaaalllllly now?

    Apollo (smothering a laugh): You don't say...

    Spidey (chortling): Uh-huh.

    Zadok (laughing outright): Wait a minute. If you're a vampire...

    Sleepy: But I am! Look! I even have the fangs and all!

    Zadok (laughing uncontrollably): If you're a vampire, then you suck don't you?

    Sleepy: Uh, yes. <looks confused> Don't all vampires?

    Everyone: Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    <scenery twists in that nauseating flashybacky pattern again>

    Spidey (groaning): I hate those flashbacks ... they give me motion sickness...

    <grins> Don't worry, Mindi. Your character is up next. Promise. :D

    'Till next time!
  12. Istanbul Sucker MCs call me sire.

    You've forgotten about the enormous aluminum golem, who gave up slaughter for Lent...

    And the deceptive, sneaky, underhanded passenger whose only fault is his irritating tendency to think out loud...

    And the cabin boy, who happens to be a beeble...
  13. Apollo Bird Boy


    Hey Whimsical, do you read the Xanth books? You sound like them.
  14. Cateran Emperor Passed On

    Holy shiznit this stuff is great [laughs insanely] Zadok appears to have taken well to "her" new form :D j/k Cap'n ;)
  15. dw51688 The Mad Scientist

    Haahahaha, this is always a good laugh. Owww, damn it I have the worst headache.
  16. Phyrexian Pie-Eater Veteran CPA Member&lt;BR&gt;&lt;FONT co

    Why am i watching cat. pee? But really miss whimsical ma'am, your doin a great job. and she does sound like the xanth books. Beck on call...yea...no1 got that...but i did.
  17. Zadok001 CPA Founder, Greater Good

    LoL.... I'm a frickin' crazy person! :) Whimsical, keep it up! You rule at this stuff. (I do find myself thinking Istanbul's suggestions would be cool, though...)
  18. Ogg New Member

  19. Almindhra Magic's Bitch

    Whimsical...I must say your writing is great...And I like to read plays anyways...:)
  20. Whimsical Adorable Sliver

    <laughs> This stuff is really rough-draft by my standards, Mindi dahling. It's good though since with rough-drafting I have the luxury of just letting the humor kick in instead of having myself go auto-edit/auto-spell check/auto-grammar check and other whatnot every other sentence. Once I finish the first few scenes (i.e., the intro portion), I'll see if I can hammer together a short story out of the mess. I like play formatting too ... though it can be a tad bit limiting when it comes to descriptions and scenery.

    And yes, I happen to love Piers Anthony. The Xanth series has always been near and dear to mah heart ... right up there with the Discworld of Terry Pratchett. Discworld tends to be a tad bit more intellectual in humor though ... but nothing beats the land of Xanth for puns. "I'm not going to let you keep the rock hound just for sedimental reason!" <laughs> Anthony and Pratchett are true geniuses.

    As for mister Istanbul sir's suggestions ... the cabin boy position is taken by everyone's favorite avian maniac, Apollo ... and we already have a keeper of the Legacy, ahem, Easy Bake Oven, I mean. I appreciate the input though!

    Anyways ... I'll add more tomorrow. Mah poor brain is too frazzled right now debating whether or not to continue with that Glitter/'Geddon deck I've been mulling over...

    Thanks for all the nice remarks, guys and gals! Us hack writers don't really work well without the adulation from the masses... :D

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