A hush falls over the assembled...
(*sounds of pie throwing, bird dropping, and figer-pointing*)
*ahem* I said a HUSH falls over the assembled...
A mysterious mist billows from the air vents. Suddenly, everyone feels really [/i]nice[/i] and super-peaceful...
Now that the hush has fallen...
A pinprick of intrense white light appears over the podium, then stretches to become a razor-thin line of light (intensely white, natch) then widens to become an oval of unbearably bright white light (right?).
Through the Portal steps...
An orc?
"Master?" it says.
A voice from the Other Side of the Portal cries, "Warriors of the Night! Assemble!"
"More work?" says the orc.
A hand reaches from the Portal, grabs the orc, and drags him back through.
"We're being attacked!" cries the orc.
Sounds of battle emanate from the Portal. After a moment, another figure steps through. This one is dressed for battle in iridescent green body armor. His fearsome weapons... an optical mouse and a keyboard.
He turns back to the Portal and shouts, "Just keep attacking! I'll be right back! And kill that freaking Priestess!" Then he turns back to face the audience, muttering something about "freekin' n00bs."
He addresses the assembled:
It is my great pleasure to stand before you today, your duly appointed genius three years running.
A whisper from the audience: "I didn't vote for him. Did you?"
Two Homeland Security Agents (Tweedledum and Tweedledee in their new jobs) appear, seize the offender, and drag him, screaming "Check the chads! Check the chads!" from the building.
If I may continue...
While it may be true -- in fact, one may be willing to concede that it is in fact true -- that there may be present those who are, shall we say, "technically" more intelligent than I, it is of course the perception held by the mob... that is, the public... that truly matters. As such, all you Harrison Bergeron wannabes can, shall I say, stick it where the sun does not shine.
Of course, that statement does not apply to those who cast their ballots, shall we say, appropriately, ignoring the "facts" and going with their respective consciences.
Furthermore...
From the Portal: "Our Ally's Hero has fallen!"
"FOINK!!! God doink it! Foinkin' n00bs! Can't I have just one minute to chat with my followers without you foinkheads falling to shoink!?"
Yeah, look, like I was saying, thanks for the cool toys, you guys rock, et cetera, et cetera, see ya later, bye.
The armored figure turns and steps through the Portal, parting with these words: "What the foink! You haven't even expanded yet!? Aurgh!"
The Portal closes.
As the Complacency Gas wears off, a member utters the unfortunate reark... "Who was that guy?"
Two Homeland security Agents burst through the door...
