Volrath's Bane, I'm calling you out!

V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**Just as VB is about to leave he realizes he has the Bed Pan of Fate..he passes it over his pants and the urnine is gone**

Err.....Ransac...you like you are doing fine....you get Dementia

Well Maruad...lools liek this is all a repeat of the Semi-Finals...Harvey..TO ME!!!

Now we dance...and you will go down again!!

**While VB is waxing eloquent he accidnetly back into the electrified cage**

DAMN IT!!! Screw the fancy oink..DIE!!!!!

**VB charges Maraud**
 
M

maraud234

Guest
*Screams like a little girly*

Holy Fudgepackers , that son of a crazy elephant is about to hit me and knock me the rubix cube out. What am I to do?

edited for the admins convenience

*Maraud flicks razor sharp pennies at VB. The pennies lodge themselves in VB's skull causing him to have a headache. Maraud being a good friend of VB's goes to get some aspirin for him, but can only find rat poison. Maraud gives the poison to VB, but VB thinks it's rat poison, and makes Maraud try it first. Maraud eats some of the poison, and dies. VB is so devestated that he pees his pants.*

Of course you do realize that I will come back. :p
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Damn it...I knew I shouldn't have given you those sharpened pennies!!

You will be back...hmmm...I think I have another card here...ahh...here we are..CREMATE!!!

**Vb chucks Cremate at Maraud's body which instantly bursts into flames and it reduces to ashes. Vb then scoops up the ashes in the Bed Pan of Fate and flings them out to the ocean**

A burial at sea...he really enjoyed surfing...shut up Donny....

**VB turns to see Dementia and Ransac in a position that scares the living hell outta him and makes him run and hide under a bench**
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
You REALLY need to read the ALL the posts on the thread...I mean REALLY...cause you keep doing this...

#1. Dementia is sitting on you...no biggie

#2. MARUAD IS DEAD! He Died..I Cremeted Him and spread his Ashes to the wind!

Sorry..but PLEASE read the previous posts
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
I don't like to read all of the long posts, unless they are broken up into small pieces.

Also, I don't think it's appropriate to just downright KILL someone in any battle arena thread. You have to at least give them time to respond.

Seventh, I can dance the pigeon in any situation, seeing as how it only involves moving your fingers and eyes.

Thrirty-second, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!


*VB looks behind and sees the ashes of Maraud flying back at VB.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
WHAT????

How can you battle if you don't read all the post that came before...I mean...that will just screw up the flow of the fight!

Also...I didn't kill Maraud...I you Read the POST you would have seen he died on his own...in his OWN post! I just burnt the body!

**VB ducks the ashes and they fly into Ransac's face**
 
D

Dementia

Guest
(Ransac's fit of coughing from the ash's awakens Dementia from his pigeon induced slumber)

Now's my chance to get Maraud back:)

(Dementia gathers the ash's into an urn then gives Bane and Ransac each a piece of paper with the words "Turn over" on each side)

That should keep them busy for a while.

(Dementia unfolds his chair and has a seat trying to think of how to put his partner back together again. Dementia considers calling all the kings horses and all the kings men, but they have a bad track record with this type of thing so he decides to do it himself. At this time Bane and Ransac throw the papers down and rush at Dementia.....)

Bane and Ransac: I'm not a blonde dammit! That doesn't work on me!

(Bane and Ransac run into each other full tilt halfway to Dementia and knock each other out giving Dementia the much needed time he needed very much;) to painstakingly sue Marauds ash's back together. Maraud strecths a bit)

Maraud: I feel much better now:)

I got a cramp in my hand:(

(Bane and Ransac are coming to......)
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
The first words out of VB's mouth as he comes to are
"how do you sue comeon back together? the legal fee must be enormous"
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac realizes that no one likes him and he starts to cry. Everybody stops the fight out of pity. After a few moments, everybody kicks Ransac in the nuts. Ransac realizes that his nuts got kicked and starts to cry more.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**VB walks over to Ransac, puts an arm around him, and walks him over to a bench**

It's okay....I like you...as long as.....................
YOU **kicks Ransac in nuts**
READ **kicks Ransac in nuts**
ALL **kicks Ransac in nuts**
THE **kicks Ransac in nuts**
POSTS!!!!! **kicks Ransac in nuts 5 more times**

Wow guys....this is really theraputic...join in!
 
M

maraud234

Guest
Theraputic, huh? Let me try. *kicks Ransac in the nuts.*

That felt good. *kicks Ransac in the nuts.*

I'm feeling really good. *kicks Ransac in the nuts.*

Wow, I feel as if my tensions and pressures have been releived. *kicks Ransac in the nuts.*

Speaking of pressure being releived, I felt so good that I just peed my pants.

*runs home to go change real quick.*
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac is just about to pass out when he realizes that VB only has a 25 post count.*


uhhnggh.........Ha.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
M

maraud234

Guest
I've always noticed that. I guess it's from too much time spent in the Battle Arena.
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Well....I DON'T CARE

I really mostly come to The CPA because just for the Battle Arena...for all other magic discussions and other stuff I mostly stick to the MTGNews forums...cause there I am well known and well established. One of the Top 10.

SO IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME!!!!!

You should be happy for that fact Ransac...cuase you get one kick to the nuts for each of my counted posts...
**Kicks Ransac in the nuts**

10 down 15 to go

**kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick**

There we go...WOW..that is alot of blood down there
 
D

Dementia

Guest
Oh....I know how ya feel Ransac!!!

MUST STOP THE PAIN BY INFLICKING MORE PAAAAIIIIIIN!!!!

YOU.....WILL......ALL......FEEL......MY......PAIN:mad:

(Dementia grabs his chair and runs straight for Ransac. Dementia lands a hard chair shot in a baseball swing right to Ransacs nose making it explode like a red paintball pellet. Ransac staggers but does not fall....Dementia smiles)

More time to hit you....

(Dementia lands a chair shot to Ransac's leg with an audible splintering snap)

PAYBACK SUCKS DON'T IT:mad:

(Ransac falls to his knees.....Dementia looks at him in his moment of weakness with that same disturbing smile and swings the chair like a farmer chopping wood hitting Ransac square on the top of the head knocking him out instantly)

Now for Bane.......
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**Just as Dementia turns to chairshot VB, he gets a bed pan stuffed over his head**

Dementia...2 things you oughta know...that ain't the Bed Pan of Fate.....and that ain't empty!

**Dementia runs around blindly, colliding into Maruad and tripping over Ransac's shattered body. He stumbles in front of VB who gives him a prompt boot in the butt that sends Dementia into the electrified cage**
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac tries to snap his fingers, but they are broken. Ransac tries to dance the pigeon, but his arms are broken. Ransca then even tries to slap his butt-cheeks, but his butt is broken.*


I didn't want to have to do this, but you guys leave me no choice.

*Ransac blinks 3 times and Ransac, not only is healed, but has transformed into a 7-story tall Care Bear.*


CARE BEAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*A beam shoots out of Ransac's belly that turns VB into a loving, caring Teletubby.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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