The Off-Topic Battle over Nothing!!!!

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orgg

Guest
Unknown to Oversoul, The Orgg was hiding from the Trained Orgg underneith its own breechcloth. Nev's Disk somehow hit the Trained Orgg twice when it was stretching its tentacles towards The Orgg.

I got the idea from The Incredibles. So sue me.
 
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Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac is still removed from play, playing twiddly winks in the "Removed-from-Game" zone. He's rather bored playing twiddly winks, too, and hungry. So, he eats them. They don't taste very good as Ransac has to add some ketchup to them.*

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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Nightstalkers

Guest
*The Nightstalkers phase back in and go into hasty proceedings as to what to do next... and finally come to the conclusion that they should bring future Ransac into the field to take care of the dead Oversoul*

Umm... guys... how the hell am I going to do that?

*They all look at the lone stranger and blink*

Oh... fine... make me figure things out...

*The Nightstalker's create a Time Bomb and infuse it with a Time Elemental encased in a Time Vault to cast Time Walk and contain a Time Twister to Time Stretch the Time Ebb in this Time of Need... and instead shoots Ransac out at Orgg like a cannon*
 
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Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac pops out of TheOrgg's stomach and dusts himself off, then coughs up a Tiddly Wink.*

Take....care....of Oversoul?

*Ransac prepares to cast Breath of Life on him, when.....*

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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orgg

Guest
*The Orgg lets out a gigantic burp from the impact upon his stomach, knocking Ransac and the Nightstalkers out from the stench.
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Far away from all this violence, Rootwater Patriarch had found new life as biologist. He was just hours away from his breakthrough, which would cure mortality. Unfortunately, when Oversoul died, so did all the creatures he controlled. And so the breakthrough was never made. Such are the consequences of being a summoned creature, whose life is intrinsically linked to a madman fighting in some insane war over nothing.

Personal Incarnation (having a much nicer body than his creator) was pursuing a very successful career as a stripper. Like Rootwater Patriach, he also died as soon as Oversoul was destroyed by the Nevinyrral's Disk. Unlike Rootwater Patriarch, Personal Incarnation had a cadre of adoring fans, many of whom happened to be powerful enchantresses. They vowed to find a way to bring Personal Incarnation back to life. Such are the perquisites of being an avatar.

And so Oversoul found himself unexpectedly ressurected. He was surprised to be alive. He was surprised to be in some male-stripping joint. And more than anything, he was surprised to find enchantresses demanding that he recreate his son. After learning what they were talking about, Oversoul made a few requests of his own, some of which were granted, and set out to return to the off-topic battle over nothing.

*Oversoul, Tragic Poet, Saprazzan Heir, and Goblin Welder all enter the battlefield riding Dwarven Ponies.*

Hey guys, I'm back.

*5versoul is dumbfounded at Oversoul's reappearance.*
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
*1versoul, 2versoul, 3versoul, and 5versoul surround Oversoul, closing in for the kill.*

Now!

*Saprazzan Heir jumps off her pony, allowing Goblin Welder to mount it. Goblin Welder, Tragic Poet and Oversoul make a break for it before the #versouls can close the circle. Saprazzan Heir walks up to 5versoul and slaps him in the face. He easily blocks it and throws her to the ground, as Oversoul draws three cards from Saprazzan Heir's ability. The fourth Dwarven Pony is still sizzling.*
 
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Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac awakens from the stench and notices Oversoul, despite drawing three cards (all of which were Shelkin Brownies), is in serious trouble. Ransac decides to pul another old trick out of the hat.*

CARE BEAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ransac grows into a 50 foot tall Care Bear monster with fire-breath, laser eyes, and stomach blasting ability.*

Alright, you Oversoul wannabes. CARE BEAR STARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Bearsac stares at the Oversoul copies. Nothing happens. Bearsac stares harder.*

Such a dumb battle cry. CARE BEAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Bearsac fires a stomach blast at 5versoul.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
*5versoul is stunned by the stomach blast. Oversoul sends the three remaining Dwarven Ponies after 1versoul, 2versoul, and 3versoul. While all of his opponents are otherwise occupied, Oversoul summons the three Shelkin Brownies he drew. 4versoul sends thirty dragons through the portal to assist his comrades.*
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
*Oversoul makes up for the loss of his Ponies by attacking 1versoul, 2versoul, and 3versoul with his Shelkin Brownies. 5versoul recovers from the stomach blast, but Oversoul pokes him in the eye. The dragons swarm around Nightstalkers and Bearsac.*
 
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Nightstalkers

Guest
*The Nightstalkers jump into their scavenged Phyrexian Portal and dump Oversoul in their place surrounded by dragons*

Teehee

*The portal explodes and makes everyones hair stand on end*
 
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Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Bearsac screams "ULTIMATE CARE BEAR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"*

*Bearsac farts.*

*An enormous beam shoots out of his stomach and incinerates 1versoul, 2versoul, 3versoul, and 5versoul. Bearsac then looks at the laughing Orgg and kicks him in the nuts with his gigantic foot.*

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Bearsac stares at the ashes of 5versoul, 3versoul, 2versoul, and 1versoul, but then wonders why there wasn't a 4versoul.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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Nightstalkers

Guest
*blinks and looks around at what is happening, then picks up the nothing and runs off with it*
 
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