CPA:The Series

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
In answer to your question, Bob, I didn't get your pm until after I posted that reply.



Ransac, comic relief
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...

So DÛke, Bob, Almindhra, and Ransac all proceed to the battle area, where The Master was taking over.
Along the way, they met Zadok and Istanbul, they were tryign to summong a Spirit of the Night to help them out...it didn't look like they were doing a good job:

Zadok: <attempting to summon the Spirit>Kaka lala bala lala, KABOOM!

The ground shook, and nothing happened. It was most likely a Greater Good spell.

Istanbul: We don't need to draw cards, Zadok! We need to summon the Spirit of the god dang NIGHT!

Zadok: but...but...

DÛke: <in pain> You stupid idiot! You don't summon the Spirit of the freakin' Night by yourselves! You need a lot of stuff to do <ouch> do it...<cries in pain>

Zadok: Is that a flower growing out of your head, DÛke?

Almindhra: It's a long story...

Istanbul: COULD YOU ALL shut up! What do you "need" to cast a Spirit of the god dang freakin' Night!

DÛke: <another "flower" was growing out of his ear> We need...<ouch>...um...all the Dukes...

Zadok: yeah, and?

DÛke: <ouch>...um...we need...um...that's it...just all the Dukes!

Istanbul: Um, we need all the Dukes to cast Sliver Queen you stupid piece of crap! Spirit of the Night requires Black mana ONLY...

Almindhra: Yes, and I have a lot of Black mana!

Zadok, Ransac, Bob: YOU DO?

Almindhra: Yes! It will cost ya though...<grin>

Zadok: What?

Istanbul: It will cost us nothing...

Istanbul gets out a big freakin' Final Fantasy kind of sword and attempt to scare the heck out of Almindhra for the Black mana...

Almindhra: Alright, alright! I'll give you Black mana, you stupid blue mage...

Almindhra releases Black mana from her hands, Zadok begins his little chant, and BOOM...a Spirit of the God dang freakin' Night was summoned.

Istanbul: SPIRIT, go on an hunt The Master! Don't come back without it!

Spirit: <weird, ugly voice> Yes, master.

The spirit flies over, being with First Strike, Haste, and Trample. It reaches The Master troops, and with ONE single plague breath, it wipes out most the army...BUT, The Master seems to be completely UNaffected by it. In fact, it seems like the Spirit HELPS The Master...

The Master: <out loud> FOOLS! Don't you know that Black, Red, White, Green, and Blue mana can't harm me! I suck all of that energy and it just makes me able to summon more Blastoderms on you all! <laughs like a stupid moron>

Zadok: What are we gonna do?

The Master: OH, and Artifacts don't harm me either...
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Ransac thinks quickly and remembers that protection from color doesn't protect it from things that don't target it.

Ransac:<whispering>Hey, Someone needs to cast a mass destruction spell. That would kill him.

Bob:I can't believe how stupid you are. WE would die, too!!!

Ransac:Well, can you think of anything else??

DUke:He has a point. It's our only chance.

Bob:Aw, man. Jeez. Well, what's the point. We might as well let him rule so that we live.

DUke: If only we could phase out.

Bob:One of us would still have to stay behind.

Ransac:Teferi can phase people out.

DUke:Teferi? I thought he phased himself out once and hasn't phased in yet.

Ransac: No. He's living as a bum in the dumpster next to the chop shop on diary queen lane.

DUke: One of us will have to go back and get him.

Ransac: I'll go. I know him.

DUke: Fine, we'll hold these guys off until.

Ransac runs for dairy queen lane. Just then, something knocks DUke down.

Dakkon:Hey, leaf-head.

DUke and Bob:Aw, great.





I'm stopping here.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
B

Bob

Guest
Dak: Where do you think you're going?

Ransac: no where!

Dak: Almindhra???

Almindhra steps out from the shadows-with a spinal embrace!

Dak: i killed her, and made her a zombie!
what's he thinking of??

Almindrha: T--t-t--t-t-Trash!
g-g-garbage!
d-d-diapers!

dak: Who are looking for??

almindhra: He's thinking: DUke! Dad! HELP!!!

Ransac sees his allies are tied up

Almindhra: Aha! He said "now we'll never find teferi in time!"

Dak: Teferi???? Haha! we killed him as soon as possible! here is his zombie!

A zombie teferi steps from the shadows

Dak: now, we'll throw these guys into the lava moat...

Meanwhile, back in Techno Land:

The Master, in his palace, is watchng Zadok and Ed juggle, THEORGG stand on his head, spidey tap dance, and Istanbul tango with TomB

Master: bravo! Bravo!

Suddenly, PJ screams in her cell, as a very smelly man is dropped in there.

PJ: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

smelly guy: Calm down. i'm Ransac, remember?? the guy who tried to arrest Bob?

PJ: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

ransac: stop yelling.

PJ: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Ransac: SHUT UP!!!

PJ: Okay.....Where s DUke?

Ransac: good news,and bad news.
Good: he's alive, and basically a hero in Dairy land

PJ: Why?

Ransac: there is no more dairy land! the whole thing was razed!!!
Bad: He is in prison, and will die tomorrow!

PJ: Why?

Ransac: He has brain spores! They slowly eat your brain!

PJ: WHY?!?!?!?!Oh, Why?

Ransac: All you ever say is Why? and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Why?

PJ: Shut up, a guard!

ransac: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guard: Who are you??
Opens cell

ransac: Price smell-a-lot!

The Guard collapses from the smell, and Ransac uses his keys to unlock Bob, and DUke, who hugs PJ

Bob: nice reunion, but we have to stop the master before DUke dies!

The Guard looks up, and sees bob. He reaches for his shocker.

Bob grabs a pike off the wall, aims it at the guard's neck

Bob: What can kill the Master?

Guard: I dunno! i'm just a guard.

Bob: Okay.

Bob kicks the guard, and knocks him unconscious.

The 3 race up the stairs to the Mster's palace.

Bob: youre goin' down, Master!

Master: Really? I doubt it!

The Master pulls out a spinal embrace.

Master: OOoh, DUke has brain spores! It's: 8:00. You have 4 hours left of your life, DUke!

Dakkon steps up, with a giant sword.

Dak: GWA HA HA HA HA HA H AH AH HA AH AH AH AH AH AH AH A! ha! ha! h-you get the idea.

It's nearing the end. i'll do the end, DUke vs the Master, but you guys can take on the other bad guys.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
This post has been edited due to the fact that its' previous form sucked. Thank you


Ransac, cpa trash man

[Edited by Ransac on 01-22-01 at 03:52 PM]
 
B

Bob

Guest
YOU were supposed to kill the master. PJ would kill Almindhra, but i'm not telling who would kill the master.
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
It's been more than a week, and no one has replied.

*Tzyver pulls out the Broken Hammer and drives it into the ground. The earth shakes. then Tzyver picks some sand up from the ground and tosses it in a wide circle. A chain reaction commences, disintegrating everything on the surface of the plane, except Tzyver, who is impervious to his own destruction. He then takes the Broken hammer in hand again, and summons a convergence storm of greater proportions than that seen previously in the Battle Arena. Using the energy from the storm, Tzyver then thwocks the earth with tremendous force, splitting it in two. The plane begins to disintegrate in its own sand.*

"I told you I'd do it."

*Tzyver then opens his arms wide and shuts them with a clap. He has collapsed this tired old plane. it is no more.*
 
B

Bob

Guest
CHEESE!!!

*Tzyver wakes from his pathetic little dream of destruction to see Bob glaring at him. Bob picks up the insignificant puny(you get the idea) and crushes him in his hand.

"He thought he could interfere in MY world! HAHAHA!"

Continuing..

It is DUke's turn and I'm out of ideas, but anyway,
ignore Ransac's last post, and Xarvox's of course.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
sorry about that last post. Like I said, I didn't read your pm until after I posted that last message. I'll edit it so it's alright.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
Hehehehehehehehehehehe

You can't even touch me, because you're not there.
Neither am I.

Mahahahaha!!!!

I told you I'd crush your insignificant little world. It took my destruction to even remind you that it existed!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa!!!!!!!
 
B

Bob

Guest
Instead of playing it out, I'll just tell ypu what happens:
The lands become: Gateway World
Bob: becomes the Pope of Dairyism
Ransac: Becomes a King of Gateway World, and takes a bath
PJ: Becomes the Queen, but never marries Ransac.
Zadok: Becomes a King of Gateway World
Spidey: Beomes a King of gateway World
Ed: Nobody knows...
Istanbul: Nobody knows....
Almindhra: is killed by PJ
The Master: is killed by:
DUke: Dies killing the Master.

Stay tuned for CPA-The Series 2!

Starring: Apollo, Zhaneel, Istanbul, and the ghost of the Master!
 
T

Thallid Ice Cream Man

Guest
Originally posted by Bob
god that story was horrible....
Well, duh.
Any story is bad if I'm introduced and later killed in the same post.
 
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