CPA:The Series

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Bob, Dec 27, 2000.

  1. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Umm, okay. Sure. I won't do anything wacky. And, *sigh*, no snapping of fingers.


    Ransac, honored to helped write a story with others.




    Ransac, cpa trash man
  2. Hawaiian mage CPA symbiod

    Well, I'm left out once again. Although... whos to say? No one can predict a blue mage... or CAN they... nope. Or not... not... not... ow...

    [Edited by Hawaiian mage on 12-29-00 at 02:33 PM]
  3. MrXarvox The Prettiest Man Alive

    Mahahahaha....

    *Tzyver appears in the shadows*

    You cannot stop me with your sheep.
    You cannot stop me in the deep.
    You cannot stop me with a ham
    you can't stop me, Tzyver I am!

    Beware my fury, when no one feels like posting here anymore.
  4. Bob Idiot

    If you can beat me in MTG-RPG at MTGcraft, you can waste this place....
    http://www.MTGcraft.com
    But watch out, Nifallor, Nano, h-mage, and other wackies hang out there....
  5. Hawaiian mage CPA symbiod

    Oh yeah, that's fair mister buy all the items and get one of the most powerfull character types by betting on an undefeated half elf. Or something along those lines...

    Mr. Xarvox doesn't stand much of a chance.
  6. Bob Idiot

    because if he loses, he gets to blow up Dw's horny school!
  7. DÛke Memento Mori

    ...DÛke and Ransac stare at the shadow figure, and suddenly, they feel a force of power hovering over their minds...they suddenly fall in a deep daze...

    <time passes by>

    DÛke and Ransac wake up in a small dungeon...
    Rats crawl by...and it's dirty as...hell...

    DÛke: What is goin' on here! What is this!

    DÛke looks around, the dungeon...and sees Ransac laying down in comma...

    Ransac wakes up after a while...

    Ransac awakes from his little daze...

    Ransac: Where are we! <Looks around> Wow! It's dirty in here! It's just fit enough for me!

    DÛke: Well...I'm not used to this...this...this GARBAGE!

    Ransac: Why not? Come, feel the pleasure of sleeping on a dirty, disgusting, smelly ground! <Motions to
    DÛke to lie on the ground> Look at THIS! <Ransac holds a piece of unknown material in his hand and he sniffs it> IT SMELLS gooood! Wanna smell it!

    DÛke: <in disgust> Boy! Who you jivin'! Don't you know who I am!

    Ransac: No I don't know who you are, but I don't care, because we're stuck now. All I care about right now is rolling like a pig in this flithy place with those cute rats!

    DÛke: <sighs and looks at the cell's doorway and SHOUTS> GET ME OUTTA HERE! GET ME AWAY FROM THIS ...this...this...THIS ANIMAL!

    Ransac: What, can't you stand a bit of trash? And you call yourself a man! <laughs>

    DÛke: Yeah...I can stand being flithy...just not with you...<looks in utter disbelief at Ransac> GET ME OUTTA HERE!

    <evil, gothic music starts playing in the background>

    Smoke comes out from nowhere, and a figure (probably the same figure who brought DÛke and Ransac to this cell) appears...

    Ransac: <pointing at the figure> WOW! He's wearing the same clothing as you are <talking to DÛke> THEY'RE CLEAN TOO! I can't stand neat stuff!

    DÛke: <looks at the figure> Why...it's...it's Istanbul! What are you doin' Istanbul!

    Istanbul: <evil grin> You know, Ed has had enough of your disrespectful, infantile, little attitude...and so, WITHOUT his order, I have decided to finish you off...

    DÛke: Finish me off? What are you talkin' ABOUT! You didn't even get an official order! <Looks at Ransac, and wonders for a second or two> GET ME OUTTA FROM HERE! KILL ME, just not with HIM! <pointing at Ransac>

    Ransac was playing with the trash in the cell.

    Istanbul: Anyway, it is a matter of time, when Nodnarb, the Rat Man will be here soon <evil laughter> you see those little rats <pointing at the rats Ransac is playing with>...those rats are Nodnarb's; it a matter of time that he'll find you two, and he'll be angry that you've disturbed his Rat Dungeon...He'll seek revenge, and he'll summon a thousands of Ravenous Rats to shatter your minds (with the discard effects)...MUAHAHAHAHAH!

    Ransac seems not to mind Istanbul's threats; so he keeps playing with the trash and petting those strange, greenish/yellowish/reddish/dotted/Zerbra-like rats...

    DÛke looks at Ransac in shame and disbelieve and starts thinking about a way to escape.

    Istanbul stood their, laughing like there was no tomorrow...AND SUDDENLY, a figure approached Istanbul...it was a girl...a young...poor looking girl...

    Istanbul: How did you get in here, you female! < Talking to the girl>

    Girl: I found the door open...and I thought someone might need help...because this place belongs to a madman called "Rat Man"...

    Istanbul: What DOOR? There's NO freaking door that leads to here! You only could get in here if you could turn into smoke and reappear!

    Girl: Well, my name is PJ...and I'm poor...I could turn into smoke...somehow...

    Istanbul: <WTF look on his face>

    PJ looks at the improsened DÛke and Ransac, and instantly remembers DÛke...and so, she attempts to save him...she looks at the "other" person in the cell with Duke, and she almost pukes...
    ---
    I'm done for now, take it away, WHOMEVER...

    [Edited by DÛke on 12-29-00 at 08:08 PM]
  8. MrXarvox The Prettiest Man Alive

    No, no.. I don't think you get the point.
    I'm going to squash the whole place when the concept dies.
    I'm just looming in the shadows right now.

    But when this thread hasn't been replied to in 1 full week, I'm gonna SHATTER IT.
  9. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    Wow, i sure was in a lot of the story. A whole post that i was in...

    Hoipa
  10. Bob Idiot

    You can't! I don't care how evil you are, how fluffy your kitty-cat is, or how powerful you claim you are!!!!
    YOU CAN"T DESTROY MY THREAD!!!!!
  11. Bob Idiot

    PJ:Who are you?

    Ransac: I'm Ransac! i'm a trash man!

    PJ: umm..ok....Hello DUke! I missed since this jerk captured me!!

    Istanbul: yep. I've been one of the Master's lackeys for a while....oh well, sorry to stop the chat, but I have to go and kill you now! G'bye, DUkey!

    Istanbul takes out a knife, and sneaks up to DUke.
    He puts the knife at Duke's throat, and laughs:
    MUA HA HA HA!!!!

    Suddenly, a man in tattered Rags steps from the shadows.

    Istanbul: Ah, nodnarb...good to see you....just in time to kill this scum....

    Nodnarb: Yesss...I ssssaw thisss boy wassss with DUke, and I found hissss mother, and I killed her....

    Ransac: MA!!!!

    Nodnarb: Now, I came to finish you off!!!!

    suddenly, the rats start gnawing on Ransac...he collapses and realizes this may be his last breath.....

    A voice: WOOF!WOOF!!GRRRR!!!

    K9 Archmage leaps down, snarling, and takes the ratsfrom the ground, and throws them on Istanbul

    Rats: GNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAWGNAW

    Istanbul: Arrrrggg!!!

    Then, the heroic dog mauls Nodnarb, and a the villians collapse, the faithful dog grabs the people, and lits them to safety....

    Ransac wakes up, very sad...

    Ransac: mommy....she was so nice....MOMMY!!!

    DUke; Ah, cheer up... my parents died when I was 1...but I'm royalty somehow...and now Istanbul is dead, the jerk... he deserved the death.. so did that rat man!!

    Then DUke sees PJ hugging the dieing dog...the brave dog dies as DUke goes over to PJ....

    DUke: I'd better get back to the Techno palace...I'll remember you, Purple....

    Ransac leaves the kiisy scene, and runs to erinpuff's cottage..he sees her dead body, and cries until he hear a small noise:

    taptaptap

    ransac sees that "Bob" guy in the corner

    Bob: Hello...i survived....Darsh hid, and apollo died too, but he'll be back.he's a phoenix...
    I bet your depressed from erin's death, but i have some good news...

    ransac: what?

    Bob: you have a father!

    Ransac: really? who is he?

    Hehe...DUke, take it from here!

    [Edited by Bob on 12-29-00 at 08:38 PM]
  12. DÛke Memento Mori

    ...and so, Ransac is about to find that he has a long, lost father!

    Ransac: <with teary eyes> You, you, you know my father!

    Bob: <smiles> Yes, yes, child. I am, YOUR DADDY!

    Ransac: <disbelief> You're my daddy!

    Bob: YES! I'm your daddy!

    Ransac: <WTF> So WHO'S my daddy!

    Bob: I'm YOUR daddy!

    Ransac: ALL RIGHT! I get the dang point! So you're my dad - huh! Aren't you like a king, or something?

    Bob: YES! I'm the king of Dairy Land!

    Ransac: I KNEW IT! I DO belong to a royal family AFTER ALL! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG! <jumps up and down>

    Bob: Well...son...we have to get you out of this place...and WHAT IS THIS SMELL! <sniffs>

    Ransac: It's me dad! You like it! I smell like trash! I love it!

    Bob: GROSS!

    Ransac: <WTF!>

    Anyway Bob and Ransac decide to leave to the Dairy Land palace...

    Mean while, at Techno Land...at Ed's palace...

    Ed: Where are the ALL the Dukes! They're supposed to be fighting right now!

    Zadok: DÛke is somewhere...Istanbul is else where, TomB is in another place from here, and Orgg is nowhere...

    Ed: <stares at Zadok>

    A servant of Ed rushes to the room...

    Servant: <to Ed> We have a problem!

    Ed: We do?

    Servant: YES!

    Ed: What is it!

    Servant: A problem!

    Ed: YEAH????

    Servant: OH MY GOD! WE HAVE A PROBLEM...

    The servant jumps off of the nearest balcony...

    Ed looks at Zadok and the share a wandering gaze...
    ---

    Ok, I'm done for now, your turn, Bob/Ransac...
  13. MrXarvox The Prettiest Man Alive

    :D You won't care when I destroy it. :D









    Mahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha etc. !
  14. Apollo Bird Boy

    I had a line! One brief, shining, glorious line! For that one line, I seemed important! Yes!

    And then I died. But I'll be back.

    And maybe, just maybe, I'll have another sweet, wonderful line! Oh, boy!
  15. Hawaiian mage CPA symbiod

    Your beating me...
  16. Chaos Turtle Demiurgic CPA Member, Admin Assistant

    Mssrs. D, B, and R?

    I'm ready fer my close-up...
  17. Bob Idiot

    but i think I should continue anyway....

    So back at the palace....

    Ed: What's the problem???

    Zadok: I dunno, oh mighty god to me, an insuffisiant..

    Ed: Shut up

    Zadok:Yessir

    Zadok looks down and sees the dead servant...

    Suddenly, Ed and Zadok hear a war cry, and see a sea of troops in black stampeding towards the castle

    ed: is that the problem?

    Zadok: I assume, oh mighty holiness...

    ed: Let's run!

    Zadok: Yes, oh mi-

    ed: SHUT UP AND ESCAPE!!!

    The two try to escape, but they are trapped in....
    by the master's troops....

    manwhile, at Dairy Palace...

    Bob is taking Ransac on a tour.

    Bob: You don't have a mother, though, she was killed by the Master....ErinPuff is not your mother....

    Ransac: Yea, i was a slave in the Cave of Despair....

    Bob: Now youre a prince! But boy, do you have to take a bath!!! Whew!!!!

    suddenly, PJ and DUke run in..

    Bob: Who are you??

    PJ: A peasant girl, just running from The Master's army...

    Bob: uh-huh...okay, then...who are you??

    DUke: I'm...a...The Guy from the other post!

    Ransac: no, your DU-

    DUke grabs ransac and tells him nicely to shut up...

    Bob: Let go of my son!

    PJ; Stop yelling a DUke!!!

    DUke: No PJ!!!!

    Bob: DUke???The Tax raiser!!! Cows, arrest that man!!!!

    Ransac: No, Dad, he's okay...he's not evil....althoughmost everyone is very poor in Dairy Land, and its...all.....his...fault....doesn't...mean...you...should...Ah, what the heck, arrest him!!!

    Cows come out and arrest DUke...

    DUke: I'll get you Smelly Prince!!!!

    Bob: he's right..you reek....

    Ransac: Quiet, or I'll have you arrested!!!

    Bob: you can't!! I'm a king!!!

    Ransac: i'm a prince!!!!

    Bob: I knew this would happen...you want to rule the kingdom!!1

    The argument ended when the two realized the Palace was surrounded...by the Master's troops....

    take it away, Ransac, or DUke...
  18. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    I'll take it from here!

    Bark: WOOF WOOF HOWWWWLLLL.
    HURMPh: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
    Growl: GROWL
    <Woof woof growl bark>

    So, how do you like that? Short and sweet eh? Duke or ransac, take it from here.

    Hoipa
  19. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    I'll take it from here!

    Bark: WOOF WOOF HOWWWWLLLL.
    HURMPh: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
    Growl: GROWL
    <Woof woof growl bark>

    So, how do you like that? Short and sweet eh? Duke or ransac, take it from here.

    Wait a minute... Wasn't i supposed to die while saving Timmy from a fire in the barn? Oh well, knowing you guys, i'll probably get raised from the dead as a zombie dog, and then die while saving Timmy from a fire in the barn. Or possibly i can come back as a ghost, and scare the shnizts out of everybody. And then, apollo gets reincarnated as a hotdog!

    Hoipa
  20. Turtlewax Joe CPA Hater of Train

    If we lived in dominaria, do you think they would have a 'Hooters' near by? ;)

    AND BY THE WAY!!
    I would like a spot as Techno Land's lady's man.
    Pretty please w/ a cherry on top?
    or at least the guy w/ a way coolalternative garage band.

    I'll turn the amp down I promise ;)


    [Edited by Turtlewax Joe on 12-30-00 at 11:33 PM]

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