CPA Notables 2005 Ceremony

[Ransac]

*Ransac remembers the past very well. Ahhh, the days when Spiderman used to frolic through the fields listening to she-man music and play with the dragonflies until the sun came up. Wait. No. Okay, maybe Ransac doesn't remember the past that well at all.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[EricBess]

EricBess struts in, head high, looking all fine and proper in a tux. Nothing out of place except the broken antenna trailing from the bottom of his shoe. He confidently walks to the front and sits down in his usual reserved seat.

Moments later, "Darth Vader's March" begins to play from somewhere in the vicinity of his belt buckle. He reaches down, a bit red-faced, and with a twist, remove the buckle, revealing yet another concealed phone.

"Hello?"..."Where are you?"..."But you said?"..."Not?..."..."But Spidey already said HE was late!"..."Not fashionable?"..."No!, I'll NOT tell him that!"..."Okay, fine."

Another brief conversation later, he hastly, if crookedly replaces the buckle on his belt, stands up, and whistles nervously as he once again exits the building.

 

[orgg]

Tent, Eric. We're in a TENT.

Buildings have too many walls that are easily destroyed.

Tents are much easier to destroy, but a few thousand dollars cheaper.

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac heard theorgg's comment and files away the fact that the tents are "eas[y] to destroy."*

Excellent.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul dashes in wearing a trenchoat, flings it off to reveal yet another explosive wardrobe, and pushes his detonator before anyone has a chance to get away. Nothing explodes.*

Another failure?

*Oversoul nearly breaks down in tears, but calms himself. He notices that everyone is staring at him.*

Yeah. I'm still alive. Don't ask how. Now everyone just wait here calmly. I'll change out of this suit and not try to kill anyone when I get back. Just stay here. No one is going to hurt you.

*Oversoul walks out, but pops back in after about ten seconds.*

Don't go anywhere!

*Oversoul departs.*

 

[Mooseman]

*Mooseman turns to Opus...... "Well this is why I brought you, see that Oversoul doesn't return until I'm gone."

*Opus reaches in his tighty whities and pull out a collapsable, hand-held, cat-grenade launcher, Bill the Cat wearing a WWI pith helmet and leaves the tent in a flutter of flapping feet.

Leaning back in his chair, mooseman props his feet on the back of the chair in front of him and wonders what the next interuption will be and how he will be able to profit from it.

 

[EricBess]

Tent, Eric. We're in a TENT.

I rented a very expensive tuxedo for this event so if I want to call it a building, I've earned the right to do so

 

[orgg]

You're a looney.

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac gives EricBess an old invitation to poke fuzzy510 and hopes he thinks it's cheese.*

My plan is falling into place.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Notepad]

*A bit late, but Paper Sefro claps for a second wave of slaves to bring in sodas, then releases them by order of the True Sefro*

*The buxom puppeteer uses stray spiderwebs to fashion a new suit, abandoning the bikini when nobody is looking. This, but order of Paper Sefro, who claims "its for Halloween, seriously" but never admitting that spiderwebs are semi transparent as clothing...*

*To distract, Paper Sefro then orders up a third wave of slaves, this time Pikachus and Yugioh clones. They bring up a table for Opus, complete with pens, lots of glossies, and tons of armed security. Actually, the security is just Napoleon and Pedro (sorry, money is really lot) armed with rubber bands. Then, the Pikachus and Yugis hand out sledge hammers from out of nowhere, to each member of the gathered audience, inviting them to take a swing at the suicidal mascots.*

 

[Oversoul]

*A few small explosions are heard outside, followed by one large explosion and a triumphant shout. Oversoul, looking as though he has just been in a grenade fight, enters once again.*

All right. Who sent that--whatever it was after me? Come on. Don't be shy. It was you, wasn't it?

*Oversoul is obviously pointing at Ransac, but the latter doesn't seem to notice. It is at this point that Oversoul finally realizes the numerous Pikachus.*

Well, it looks like we have an infestation. There's only one safe way to deal with this...

*Oversoul reaches into the pocket of his trenchcoat, and finds nothing of interest. It seems that he used up the last of his bombs in the scuffle outside.*

Well, there are only two safe ways to deal with this, and it's happy coincidence that I rented the body of a T-1000 today.

*Oversoul's sharp, metallic arm lashes out and impales a Pikachu. He smiles fiercely and his eyes well up with tears.*

Worth every penny...

 

[orgg]

*grabs up a Sledgehammer from a Pikachu and uses it upon the back of the head of Oversoul, splattering his liquid metal head all over everyone in the audience.

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul is again convinced that Ransac is trying to thwart him. After his head reshapes itself, he stabs Ransac in the stomach with his extendable finger.*

"You won't ruin my moment of triumph. And now you have a hole in you. How do you like that? I'll bet you think it sucks."

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac thanks Oversoul for stabbing the part of his stomach in which the evil leprecham, Mortimer, was living. The vagrant falls out of the stab wound and Ransac hugs Oversoul in appreciation, bleeding all over him in the process.*

You DO know, however, that you have put blood stains on my penguin suit.

*Ransac whistles and the hounds of Edinburgh arrive and promptly take turns urinating on Oversoul.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[EricBess]

EricBess walks in, deftly dodging and ducking around the proceedings between Ransac and Oversold, nearly tripping over the shoe antenna, and proceeds to his seat in the front row.

Just before he sits down, however, a heads-up display lowers from the rim of his tophat and a beeping noise is heard. from an attachment that hovers near his ear. Rather than answering, however, he removes the hat, throws it to the ground, and stomps on it, his pants slipping slightly as he does due to a belt that no longer performs its function as well as it should.

He scoops up what's left of his hat, pulls up his pants, and storms out of the BUILDING (yes, I know it's a tent!) without saying a word, shoving people out of the way as he goes.

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul's head becomes a lashing tendril of metallic death that quickly cuts down the canine foe. His left hand then branches out into multiple points that impale Ransac and pin him to the wall of the tent, which does not appear to be supporting the weight very well.*

 

[Ransac]

*The tent collapses under the weight of Ransac's body. While the other CPA members begin putting up the FIRST replacement tent, Spiderman admonishes Ransac and Oversoul for such childish behavior. Ransac and Oversoul look at each other and nod. Oversoul casts animate land on a nearby Mountain, to which Ransac casts Fling on it, targeting Spiderman.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

*theorgg grabs the middle tent pole, lifts it up, and then flings it back into the ground. The smaller posts jump up in tandem with the fabric wave created, and stab back down in the dirt once again...

...except for one, which impales the foot of Paper SeFro, whom the buxom model has let slip to the ground after he slipped down her blouse.

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul forms five extra (metal) arms and begins searching for a new target.*

 

[Notepad]

*The model puppeteer salutes the fallen Paper Sefro, then lights him on fire to dispose of him properly. Then, she takes out one of many spares. And where would a buxom model with a spiderweb skimpsuit keep a bunch of Paper Sefros? Her thong, where else?*

*Paper Sefro is raised into the air, with one hell of a smile on his face. He would like to enter the fray, but in his distraction, he messes up his d20 rolls and fails the check to enter battle. He frowns and declares, "I have to sit this one out!"*