CPA Notables 2005 Ceremony

[Oversoul]

"No need for that."

*Oversoul begins pummeling Paper Sefro with his seven arms. He stops when he realizes that pummeling a man made out of paper does not hurt him very much.*

"Well, that didn't work out quite the way I had planned. But I'm sure that there is some attack in my repertoire that is effective against paper. Let me think..."

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac hands Oversoul a Singe.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Nightstalkers]

*a Nightstalker sneaks up to Notepad and gets him right in the face with a lemon merangue pie*

Hee hee heee...

*scampers away*

 

[Notepad]

"I need to be somewhere safer, ASAP!"

*The buxom puppetteer stows Paper Sefro somewhere safe, right between her breasts. His little paper head is poking out, and he has an even bigger smile than before. Will make giving orders to waves of slaves hard, but who the hell cares when one has, quite literally, the BEST seat in the house?*

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul holds the card Ransac handed him, puzzled.*

"Yes, this is also made out of paper. Perhaps if I find a way to destroy this card, I can implement this in my strategy against Paper Sefro..."

*Oversoul places the card on the ground. He stomps on it with his metal leg. He karate chops it with his metal hand. He jumps up and down on it. He forms one of his arms into a giant hammer and smashes the card, but it doesn't do much real damage.*

"Just you wait, Paper Sefro, your days are numbered..."

 

[Notepad]

*Paper Sefro raises an eyebrow when nobody's looking. Now that they are, he's stuck that way. He comments "Yeah, you can do that, but you'd never dare while I'm hiding in the Puppeteer! It's rude to hit a lady! Or...set her chest on fire, or anything like that...*

*The buxom puppeteer prepares some litigation papers, knowing something really bad is coming. Nevertheless, she's ready to sue any offenders right into bankruptcy hell.*

 

[Nightstalkers]

*two Nightstalkers swing down from the rafters with pies in hand and deliver a double chocolate merangue pie shot to Oversoul*

Teehee!

 

[Oversoul]

*For some reason, being hit in the face with pie only inspires Oversoul.*

"That's it: scissors. Thank you, Nightstalkers."

*Oversoul forms one of his arms into a shiny pair of scissors, and decapitates Paper Sefro without harming the pupeteer.*

 

[orgg]

*theorgg watches as Paper Sefro's head slips slowly down where the spiderwebs are thicker.

"Y'know, if I didn't know the REAL Sefro had those guys as simi horcruxes, I'd be worried."

 

[Killer Joe]

*KJ screams, "Hey, friggin' sit down and let's get the show on the road!" As he sits he notices a paper head on the floor and thinks that it looks alot like John Denver.

 

[Notepad]

"You came on my pillow --argh!"

Huh? Paper Sefros under attack!

*The true Sefro comes in. Slaps Oversoul on the rump and blows him a kiss to freak him out. This gives him enough time to go to the buxom puppeteer and take away all the Paper Sefros. He puts them in a special ink draining machine and take out a needle hooked up to the ink machine. After a quick bit of being all suspicious around her rear, he vanishes! POOF!*

*The buxom model (sans puppeteer duties) shows off the new incarnation--TATTOO SEFRO, right on her bottom. Then, she folds her arms and says there's no strip tease at the end of the ceremony, since Oversoul screwed everything up*

*There is, however, the matter of all the paper pulp. The machine has turned the pulp (sans ink) into a little Paper Golem Oversoul! The buxom model invites anyone who wants, to come up and abuse the poor pulp golem*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac decides that everyone needs to mellow out and snaps his fingers. Everyone is now wearing a black ut-ut that is 18 sizes too small.*

I love doing that.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Nightstalkers]

*Several Nightstalkers begin hitting on Sefro wearing their tu-tu's*

Hey there sailor....

*Hey hop into his arms, give him a big wet kiss, then pop out of their tu-tu's and begin bouncing off the walls*

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul forms part of an arm into a sword and swings it around ineptly.*

In the end, there can only be one.

*He attacks Pulp-Oversoul with the sword, but the surprisingly agile golem evades his strikes.*

 

[Notepad]

*From his remote hermit writer shack, Sefro watches via webcam as Nightstalkers hits on some guy*

Nightstalkers, I'm nowhere near the site. Um, dude, that doesn't even LOOK like me!

*Points and laughs at the feed, realizing Nightstalkers was getting fresh with Mark Rosewater!*

*Tattoo Sefro laughs his butt off...even though he's tattooed on a model's butt. Ironic pun, yes.*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac decides to head back to the tent to prepare himself for interviewing the winners with random questions once again.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[EricBess]

From outside the tent, there comes a high-pitched buzzing sound...followed by cursing. A watch, trailing a small antenna comes flying through the open tent flap and shatters as it hits the center tent pole.

 

[Oversoul]

*Pulp-Oversoul turns to see what hit the pole, and is unable to react to Oversoul spearing finger. With the golem finally caught, Oversoul shouts triumphantly and and slices it to pulpy ribbons.*

 

[Spiderman]

All right people, settle down! After some technical difficulties (like finding a microphone and a sturdy stage), we're ready to start!

The first award is to the guy who make you giggle, chortle, and laugh in your seat. Taking the title away from Nightstalkers last year, this year's Most Funniest goes to Ransac!

And who might be the one who makes the gravy train? Maybe we can be his entourage/hanger-on-ers, but taking the title away from 13NoVa last year, this year's Most Likely to Win the Pro Tour is Istanbul! Congrats!

I am now accepting Best Entrance nominees at this time. Please reach under your seat and find the controller and enter your choice now.

 

[Ransac]

*Waiting backstage to give random questions to the winners, Ransac is handed a slip of paper with the names of the first winners: Ransac and Istanbul. Ransac has no trouble in locating Istanbul for a random question, but he can't seem to find this Ransac guy.*

Where is this.... Ran....sac guy? I don't have all day to sit around and wait for this jerk to show up. I bet he's not even going to show. What an oink.

*A stage assistant whispers into Ransac's ear. Ransac's eyes widen and he wets himself. BUT, it's okay, since his penguin suit doubles as a wet-suit. Ransac runs out to claim his award.*

I WON! I WON! I WON! AWESOME!!!!!! I have RECLAIMED my throne as the funniest member in the CPA....... And it only took 3 years!!!!

*The audience starts laughing in an uproar. Ransac is perplexed as to why they're laughing, when he realizes that Theorgg has just thrown a Flamatog at the stage. Ransac runs for his life, since he knows that this Atog variant will make him flaming. The Flamatog is confused when he misses target and decides to run off to become a game show host.*


-thanks to all who voted for me!-


Ransac, cpa trash man