CPA Notable Awards 2004 Ceremony

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Spiderman, Oct 4, 2004.

  1. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    Once again, Spidey checks out the old, abandoned theater in preparation for this years Notable Awards. This time, he was smart in that he stored everything away from last year so he wouldn't have to dash all over town trying to find stuff. Like the bar for instance... a very important part of the festivities. Podium and microphone also... check, check, yep, everything seems like it still works. Lights on... hmm, the cleaning crew did a good job last night, the seats have no dust and the aisles are clean. Looks like it's showtime.

    All right people, we'll give a week for entrances and then start next week on the actual awards (If I was thinking clearly, I would have done this last week while the voting was going on but oh well)
  2. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    *Tabasco scomes in with a truck filled with Marble Statues of all the Nominees, and carefully placed them throughout the Ceremony Hall*

    *He then comes back 2 hours later... classical music begins to play.....

    He strolls down the red carpet wearing his heavenly white suit complete with top hat, cane, and shiny shoes...with two beautiful female companions each wearing a black gown and a pink feather boa. He makes his way to his seat and uncorks a large bottle of his finest champagne and begins elegantly waiting for more guests to arrive.*
  3. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac is already there, mainly due to the fact that he never left it last year, after failing to capture a single Notable, let alone the 2 back to back sets of 3 he had won before. Ransac is still wearing the same penguin suit, rocking back and forth muttering "they'll call my name next. they'll call my name next" over and over again.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man

    VOTE Ransac/Monkey 2004: Because monkey feces doesn't contain colera!
  4. EricBess Active Member

    EricBess walks in, carrying a wand and sits down in the front row.
  5. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Oversoul crouches on the roof, spying down on the CPA'ers through a skylight. Behind him stand three henchmen carrying assorted boxes and equipment.

    Oversoul: Now one very important detail: in order to make a grand entrance, it is vital to have an audience. It also helps if no one else spoils it by entering after you. With that in mind, we can't initiate this until we're absolutely sure that everyone else has already entered the building. You have the list?
    Henchman 1: Yeah, right here.
    Oversoul: Let's see--cookies, eggs, mixed nuts, cookies, vegetables, oranges, cookies, grapes, pastrami, cereal, cookies, milk, cook--this is not the list.
    Henchman 2: It looks like a list to me.
    Oversoul: It's my old grocery list. You're an idiot.
    Henchman 2: Well, what list did you want?
    Oversoul: Nevermind, I'll find it myself.

    Oversoul digs through the boxes aggressively, but finds nothing of interest. He gives up.

    Oversoul: Okay, we'll worry about that later.
    Henchman 1: Hmm?
    Oversoul: Nevermind. Who has the fireworks?
    Henchman 1: Right here.
    Oversoul: Where?
    Henchman 1: What?
    Henchman 2: Who?
    Oversoul: Huh?
    Henchman 2: Exactly!
    Oversoul: Shut up.

    Cursing liberally, Oversoul rummages through the boxes again, but returns to the skylight empy-handed.

    Henchman 3: What is he doing?
    Henchman 2: He was looking for fireworks?
    Henchman 3: Where?
    Henchman 1: Right here.
    Henchman 3: Why would he do that?
    Oversoul: Because I need fireworks to make a proper entrance. It's not that hard to grasp. Okay, if no one can find the fireworks, where's the music?
    Henchman 1: Right here.
    Oversoul: Why do you keep saying that?
    Henchman 1: But I have the music right here holds up cassette labeled "Entrance Music."
    Oversoul: Give me that. You don't happen to know where the fireworks are now, do you?
    Henchman 1: Right here.
    Oversoul: No, they are not. I can see rather clearly that you have no fireworks on your person, excepting some small devices which may or may not be in your pockets. If you say "right here" again, I will throw you off the roof of this building.
    Henchman 2: Right here.
    Oversoul: That's it. I can't put up with you. I'm calling your your boss and getting a refund. Great, now where is my phone?
    Henchman 3: I left it next to that list thing.
    Oversoul: What? And where did you put the list?
    Henchman 3: In the box with the fireworks, I think.
    Oversoul: And where is that?
    Henchman 3: At boss's house.

    Oversoul proceeds to let loose a string of explicatives, then lies down on skylight trying to get a good view.

    Oversoul: Well, I think Ransac is down there. Maybe I can sneak in and ask him to let me in before everyone arrives. They'd see me though. I should send one of you down there to get him. Oh, yep, that's Ransac all right...
    Henchman 2: Where?

    Henchman 2 steps onto skylight. Oversoul realizes too late what is happening. The skylight cracks and Oversoul falls right through, landing directly on the bar.
  6. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    Spidey wonders how the cleaning crew missed Ransac, but realizes that they must have thought he was a homeless person since he had the same clothes on and reeked to high heaven and took pity on him and let him stay

    He also looks at the broken skylight (after deftly spinning a web to catch any flying glass) but figures to fix that after the ceremony

  7. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    *pulls out special Best CPA Emergency Performance award and gives it to Spidey*

    *Many in crowd clap*

    Awards awarded thus far: 1
  8. Prince RXI CPA Moon-Boy

    *A portal opens in mid air and out pops RXI...*


    *looks around and starts to remember...*

    YES!!!! I finally return after months apon months of Traveling the dimensions through the world of Vana'Diel! Now it's time to see what I have missed...

    *notices Ransac*

    yummy.... Slow birdy out of place... *CHOMP*!!!! mmmm, tasty... Anyway, has someone seen Ransac?

    Prince RXI, what did you expect? a few months of traveling a world where food is so expensive that not even $500 can get you a decent meal...
  9. EricBess Active Member

    EricBess walks in, carrying a wand and sits down in the front row next to EricBess.
  10. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Oversoul rolls off the bar, clutching his back and grimacing. He sees the strands of web that Spidey used to catch the broken glass. Grinning wickedly, he seizes the largest one he can grab and wraps it around the neck of the henchman who fell through the skylight with him, then yanks frantically at the web in a crazed attempt to strangle his victim.
  11. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    *scratches head*

    *walks over to EricBess(es)*

    "How are you two doing tonite?"

    *casually mingles with the rest of group*

    *is seated again next to his incredibly attractive companions*

    Awards awarded thus far: 1

    Number of EricBesses: 2
  12. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    Through the vastness of space, time, and reason, an object hurtles through the space. Although he left early, he was quite late for the proceedings and was eager to make up the lost time with rash acts and spontaneously stupid mistakes. Habuki finds himself still hurtling through the void in his home made pod and finally decides it is time to jump out of the realm and back into reality. A tear opens up as a jet streaks through it... but it is too late for it to turn out of the way and the people on board quickly find themselves marooned on a world with tiny people and fourteen purple moons. From the tear a man wearing a parachute and a wrinkled black suit decend through the atmosphere.

    Okay... so I pull this and it'll open up... erm... okay, I have a backup chute... erm... AAAHHH!!!!!

    The man hurtles through the sky, cursing his travel agent for being such a cheap bastard and tries not to contemplate what his fate will be. A minute passes and he breaks through the abandoned theatre's roof, lands where his seat is supposed to be, and promptly bounces. Blood soaks the carpet for a few minutes as the mortar and dust finally settle, and the man slowly gets up with a now bright red suit and a blood stained tie.

    Look Ma... I'm road kill.....

    The man promptly passes out
  13. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    *calls the paramedics*

    *instructs the ambulence where the body is*

    *after body has been checked over, they leave him to continue his nap*

    Awards awarded thus far: 1

    Number of EricBesses: 2

    Number of people who have come through the roof and passed out for a short bit: 2
  14. 13NoVa The Ruins That We Hold

    A big thud could be heard from across the room. Everyone looks over, and sees the body of an old lady thrown through the doors. In walks 13NoVa, Carrying a large battle Axe dressed in chainmail.

    "sorry i guess i could have just opened the door but this was more fun"

    13NoVa sits next to tobasco who looks at him, and asks "is that for if people get out of hand?", in which 13NoVa replies, "no, but if I get out of hand at least i know i'll have fun"
  15. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    *calls the paramedics again*

    *they check out women who went flying throught the air upon 13Nova's arrival*

    Awards awarded thus far: 1

    Number of EricBesses: 2

    Accidental Injuries: 3

    Big, battle axe-toting muther truckers: 1
  16. EricBess Active Member

    EricBess walks in, carrying a wand and notices that there are already two of him seated in the front row. After a moments hesitation, he shrugs, starts to sit next to EricBess, thinks better of it, and sits next to EricBess instead.
  17. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Oversoul stops choking the henchman and begins dragging him around the theatre using Spidey's web.
  18. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    *borrows 13Nova's battle axe, then walks over to Oversoul and gives him the battle axe to put the henchman out of his misery*

    *promptly returns the previously mentioned battle axe*

    Awards awarded thus far: 1

    Number of EricBesses: 3

    Accidental Injuries: 3
  19. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    Fatalities: 1
  20. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac finally snaps to and triumphantly retreats to the backstage area, preparing to interview those that win awards.... then steal the awards from them.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man

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