Cards of the CPA

N

Nifallor Ruler of Kairon

Guest
Come on, don't ask for your card just wait like everybody else does.
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AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If you think you can do a card about me, be my guest. If not, too bad.

BTW

ELMO, is open for you RPG'ers. You can find a link on Kaironia (www.kaironia.homestead.com)
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...so here:

Whimsical Jester 2UR
Creature - Legend
Kicker: W
Red and Blue creatures can't be the target of spells or abilities.
If you paid the Kicker cost, Whimsical Jester gains "White creatures can't be the target of spells or abilities".
2/3
"Red and blue equals purple...if you add white to purple, and wish a wonder: you will get a new color: whimsical. Sounds cheesy, doesn't it?" -DÛke, disappointed.

Almindhra, the Not So Bad After All 1RB
Creature - Legend
Kicker: W
Protection from White. Protection for Green.
If you paid the Kicker cost, Almindhra gains: "Protection from Red and Protection for Black".
2/2
"...trust me! I'm serious! I'm not drunk! She's not bad AT ALL!" -DÛke, after the turnabout.

Invading the CPA 1UW
Enchantment
1UW: Put a Female token into play. Treat that token as a 1/1 artifact creature with "This creature can't be the target of spells or abilities".
"Just few more females joining the CPA, and the CPA will be invaded by them females! Who said that? Purple Girl...I swear...she said it!!!!" -DÛke, the prophecy.

Baskil, the Treacherous 1UU
Creature - Legend
Kicker: 2UU
Baskil can't be the target of spells or abilities.
When Baskil comes to play, if you paid the Kicker cost, gain control of target creature.
2/2
"I understand why some of the stuff on the CPA is so terrible now. There really isn’t much discretion as to what is put up there. That’s why stuff like this (referring to one of Ransac's articles on the front page of the CPA) makes it to the front page. In this article, Mark spews his love for Rath block. Screw being informative or entertaining." - Baskil, treacherous act against the CPA. (Find this quote in the General CPA Stuff forum, under the topic "HAS ANYONE SEEN THIS YET?!?!?!")

Ransac, the Victim Avenger 1WW
Creature - Legend
Kicker: 1WW
As Ransac comes to play, if you paid the Kicker cost, destroy all other creatures.
2/2
"Hey. HEY!!!!! I just write articles that I think people will enjoy reading. With 7th edition coming, I wanted to add to the hype of our favorite Rath cards returning. No one else has ever complained about my articles before. So, either you are a buttweasel from the planet frog, or you just love to complain about everything." - Ransac, with vengance against Baskil. (Find this quote in the General CPA Stuff forum, uner the topic "HAS ANYONE SEEN THIS YET?!?!?!")

Istanbul's Flame 1R
Instant
Kicker: 2R
Deal 3 damage to target creature or player.
If you paid the Kicker cost, Istanbul's Flame can't be countered, it's damage can't be prevented, and it may target creatures with protection and/or creatures that can't be the target of spell's and/or abilities.
"Well, whoever he is, I just sent him a very colorful e-mail describing to him the various reasons why he's in error, and questioning the need for a 'slops' category at all." - Istanbul, the burning flame of revenge, defending Ransac. (You could find this QUOTE in the same place Ransac's quote above could be found! Shoot!)

Waiting For the Planeshift 1WU
Enchantment
As an additional cost to casting Instants, Sorceries, Creatures, Artifacts, and Enchantments, each player must return an untapped permenant her or she controls back to owner's hand.
"We're all just DYING to see Planeshift...aren't we?" -DÛke, thinking what he thinks he knows about what everyone else is thinking.

Almindhra, Detective 2BU
Creature - Spy Legend
U: Put the top card of your library into your graveyard.
B: Put the top card of your graveyard on top of your library.
2/2
"Trust ME, she knows everything about most of the things...MOST." -DÛke, starting to like Almindhra.

Protection of the Innocent 2WW
Instant
Return into play all creatures that were put into your graveyard from play this turn.
"You flame, you'll get banned. You kill, you'll be banned. You mouth off, you get banned. You do THAT, you'll get banned. You do THIS, you'll be banned. Just don't do the WRONG thing, got it?" -Zadok, TomB, Dune Echo, Ed, SpiderMan, Istanbul, and TheOrgg...to the CPA members.

Rebelious War 1BR
Instant
Remove from the game all creatures with protection or creatures that can't be the target of spells or abilities."We won't flame. We won't kill. We won't mouth off. But we WILL do THAT, and we WILL do THIS, GOT IT!" -DÛke, Ransac, Darsh, Multani, Hawaiian Mage, Cateran Emperor, Nodnarb, and Dw....to the CPA founders.

The CPA War Arena BRGW
Enchantment
B: Target creature gains -1/-1 until end of the turn.
R: Target creature gains +2/+0 until end of the turn.
G: Target creature gains +1/+1 until end of the turn.
W: Target creature gains +0/+2 until end of the turn.
"Founders versus members...we'll see...we will see...(where's the Blue ability anyway?)" -The unknown war starter.

Thwip! X1RG
Instant
Deal X damage to target creature or player. You may choose to put X +1/+1 counters on targer creature.
"Thwip!" - Spiderman's signature. It's cool.

Ok, I hope you like. More cards in the future. Yes, EVERYONE will be in it (eventually) don't worry! :)
 
T

Thallid Ice Cream Man

Guest
Oh come on, I asked several times about a month ago to be in set 7, and you didn't put me in set 7! If need be, give me some little ability that has to do with the fact that I very often correct Duel, and most of all, make me weird, green, and blue.
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
he told everyone that he would put them in a set eventually, he doesn't have to do this, so be grateful that he is even considering giving you a card, i mean, okay asking politely once is okay, but stop nagging him.
okay that's the end of my rant
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...fight! Thanks! Thallid, I told I'll make you a card! Guess what, I've taken the time to make up a 5 card set, you have TWO cards in it! If there's anything I know about you, than it will HAVE to be that you like to whine, so get ready to see your "whine-ful" cards! :)

Azreal, thanks! Just for being a "defender", you'll get a card too! It's probably the most complicated, yet one of the BEST cards I've ever made for the Cards of the CPA. Your gift. Oh, and if it makes you and difference, it's also a PROMO and the only way someone could get it is by JOINING certain (non existant) clubs! Your cards is THAT cool! :)

Here are the cards:

Annoying Member 2R
Creature - Legend
Kicker: 1B.
Haste
As Annoying Member comes to play, if you paid the Kicker cost, search your library for a card, shuffle your library, and put that card on top of it.
2/2
"I want MY card! I want MY card! Give me a freakin' CARD! I want my card! Give me a card! You best give me a card! You need to give the card! Give me a god dang card! GIVE ME A CARD!" - Thallid Ice Cream Man, complaining over and over again. (You finally got your wish!)

Delerium Cry X1W
Instant
Kicker: B
Each player sacrifices X permenants.
If you paid the Kicker cost, each player also discards X cards.
"Mea CULPA! Terra Firma! Mea CULPA! Delerium! Duende! MEA CULPA!" -DÛke, trying to sound overly weird. (I think I'm successful at sounding weird)

Engimatic Cry X1U
Instant
Kicker: R.
Each player returns X permenants back to owner's hand.
If you paid the Kicker cost, each player also is dealt X damage.
"..." - DÛke, having no freakin' idea why this card is classified as the "Cards of the CPA", but WE'LL live, right? I hope so.

Nagger's Wish U
Instant
Search your library for an Instant or Sorcery card and set it aside. Shuffle your library. Until end of the turn, you may play that card as though it was in your hand. If you do, remove that card from the game. By the end of the turn, if that card is still set aside, remove it from the game.
"WOW! HE always gets what he wants! Even after my terrible Delerium and Enigmatic Cries...HE'S heartless man! He likes taking over, even though I'm sad...although I'm mad...he just takes over...EVERYTHING! Where's Purple GIRL!" - DÛke, talking about Thallid Ice Cream Man.

Azreal, Defender of the Mind, Freedom, and Nature 3UWG
Creature - Hero Legend
Kicker: U.
Kicker: W.
Kicker: G.
Azreal gains +1/+1 for each card in your hand.
Azreal gains +1/+1 for each other creature you control.
Azreal gains +1/+1 for each 1 life you have.
As Azreal comes to play, if you paid the U Kicker, Draw 3 cards.
As Azreal comes to play, if you paid the W Kicker cost, gain 3 life.
As Azreal comes to play, if you paid the G Kicker, Put 3 Citizen tokens into play. Treat each of these tokens as a 1/1 Green creature.
1/1
"He's great, don't you think?" - DÛke, thanking Azreal for holding back a certain nagger. Thanks...oh, and Thallid Ice Cream dude, I'm just kidding, ok? Don't take this to the heart!

There...
 
T

Thallid Ice Cream Man

Guest
To be fair, I only asked three times, not ten or so.

Oh well, no big deal. That's one less CPA member with a lot of posts and a one-word four-letter screen name that starts with a D for me to be annoyed at (In case that wasn't subtle enough, that leaves Duel). ;)
 
T

Turtlewax Joe

Guest
Ransac, you're my favorite guy on this site, so here's your card...

Ransac,Village Idiot and CPA Trash man

creature-supirior madness

RBU

T: deal 1 damage to target creature or player

R: put a 1/1 insane token into play, sacrafice it at end of turn

B: Regenerate Ransac

U: Ransac gets +1+0 until end of turn

1/3

"Well slap my a** and call me Judy!"

[Edited by Turtlewax Joe on 12-31-00 at 05:08 PM]
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Wipes tear from eye*

Wow, two new cards. One from DUke, one from Turtlewax Joe. He treats me like a celebrity. Well, here's my way of saying thanks.


*Ransac snaps his fingers and Turtlewax Joe is now wearing black clothes(a brand new tux)*


Oh, and you will be included in MY new set.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
N

NeuroDeus

Guest
How about me? Everyone seems to forget that there is a NeuroDeus around... :(
 
F

fuzzy510

Guest
Nobody cares about you NeuroDeus. Except for maybe you. But that doesn't count. :D
 
K

K9Archmage

Guest
GODDAMNIT Turtlewaxy! YOU DIE NOW! I am the only one who is supposed to think that Ransac is cool!OOPs! Did i just let that slip? Oh well. ANYWAYS.
[me] smothers Waxy Joe Turtle in a turtle shaped candle that has "joe" inscribed in it.[/me]

OOOHHHH! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT FOR WAX?
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...NeuroDeus, does 5 cards in the coming up "set" sound good? Ok, just what I thought. I don't forget anyone. You're in; 5 cards. :)
 
K

K9Archmage

Guest
Wow, duke. You must really be pissed off at TICM!
I hope i'm on your good side!

Hoipa
 
C

Crackdown

Guest
Beggar Thy Neighbor 1 GRWU

Enchantment

Kicker 2B

At the beginning of your upkeep, all opponents take 2 damage and the top card from their library comes into play under your control. For each creature that comes into play this way, sacrifice one permanent. If you do not have enough permanents to sacrifice, you lose the game.

If you paid the kicker, you may donate this card and it comes into play under that player's control.

"If I played with it, it's mine; if I saw it, it's mine; if I want it, it's mine; if it's mine ... it ain't yours." -- Neuro's Credo
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...a set, just random ideas:

<I haven't forgot about Neuro's 5 cards>

No New Members 3UB
Enchantment
Creature spells can't be played.
During each player's upkeep step, that player may discard 3 creatures from his or her hand. If a player does, remove No New Members from the game.

No New Articles 3UUU
Instant
Until end of the turn, spells can't be played. Counter all spells already cast.
"Is it the restriction? The toughness?" -DÛke, asking "why" there aren't any new front-page articles...

Many Reregistered Members 3WG
Enchantment
Creature spells can't be played unless there's a copy of that creature in play.
5: Put a creature card from your hand into play. That creature can't attack, block, or use any abilities requiring an activasion cost. Any player may play this ability.
"The only new members are old members...does that make sense?" -DÛke, wondering why there aren't many new members...and most of the new ones are just reregistered ones...
 
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