Battle of Randomness #254

Discussion in 'Battle Arena' started by Ransac, Mar 9, 2006.

  1. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    DarthFerret shoots a Lightning Bolt at the powder keg, but being destroyed at the time, it shoots past it and hits the set of barbells that Ransac had in his back pocket..
  2. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Frustrated, Oversoul charges Nightstalkers, but trips over his own tentacles (the attention of which is still diverted to the schoolgirls).*

    Stupid tentacles...
  3. WickedBoy6 Captain of the Atog Army

    *Suddenly, from the swamps in the distance emerges the returning Captain of the Atog Army. Holding a green can in his hand, he held it high into the light, magnificent trumpet music began to play.*

    BEHOLD! The final attack of this battle. Emerge, Atogs! Bring me the lint, and VICTORY!

    *Popping open the Mountain Dew can, he expected the army to emerge, but nothing emerged from the swamp. The can did nothing.*

    Would you guys settle for some mountain mist Faygo?
  4. Zigathon Registered Nerd

    Hmmmm, I don't know. I'm not a big soda drinker. Got any beer?
  5. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac unleashes the first plague of Ransac (1 million stampeding weasels) in retaliation to the Atog Captain's failed attempt to summon his army. The weasels rush the Atog and begin to nibble his toes.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  6. WickedBoy6 Captain of the Atog Army

    WEASELS!!! Damn me and wearing my Vans instead of my Steel to-OW!

    *Dancing around to avoid the bites, Wicked had another ace up his sleeve, opening the mountain mist Faygo.*

    Destroy these weasels, Violent J-tog!

    *Emerging from the Atog camp was Violent J-tog, decked out in clown makeup and carrying a hatchet. something else was in his hand.*

    J-tog, why are you sitting there enjoying a coffee?

    *All of a sudden, J-tog screamed "GET OFF ME!", reaching his hands out and choking out the nearest pedestrian.*

    J-tog, no, no, not calafalestrien, the lint. We must win the lint.

    *Suddenly, Violent J-tog turned to Wicked, screaming "GET OFF ME!" and began choking him out, the weasels still biting his feet.*
  7. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac stares at the hapless Wicked and unleashes the second plague of Ransac, but isolates it over Wicked and the J-Tog. Millions of goblin turds fall from the sky towards Wicked. Ransac then notices DarthFerret still holding the lint and chucks his lead rabbit at him.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  8. Zigathon Registered Nerd

    *Zigathon does his best Hunter S. Thompson impression: "Did you say something about lint? Good god, man! Give it to me..."
    Unfortunately, while running towards DarthFerret, Zigathon is struck in the head by the flying lead rabbit.*
  9. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Oversoul casts nothing.*

    Stupid manadrown.
  10. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    *A Nightstalker emerges from Oversoul's mouth and pulls out the trusty sharpie mini and writes several lines from Monty Python's Flying Circus into his spell... causing everyone to relive being smacked in the face with fish*
  11. WickedBoy6 Captain of the Atog Army

    *As Wicked is being choked by the Violent J-tog, being rained on by goblin gobs, and being slapped in the face by mackrel, he had one more ace up his sleeve. Pulling out his last can of mountain mist Faygo, he pops the can and chokes out his command.*

    Come forth and assist, Shaggy 2 Dopatog.

    *A second clown painted atog emerges from the swamp, dressed up in a nighttime talkshow suit, singing "What up y'all? Welcome to the show. I'm Shaggy, like you dont really know...". It was this moment, that Wicked uttered his last words before falling into unconsiousness* the last alliance...between the Atog Army...and the Juggalos...
  12. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Oversoul manages to bite off the head of the offending Nightstalker. But he still cannot disentangle himself from his disobedient tentacles.*
  13. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    DarthFerret, realizing that only a matter of luck has helped him keep the lint so far...(plus everyone else being distracted...) runs down the hill, past the hapless Oversoul, and just as he is about to get away, he trips over a speck of dust and falls sprawling into....
  14. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    *A Nightstalker sees his moment of opportunity and runs to deliver DarthFerret's face into a bowl of coconut pudding*

    Hee hee... safe landings.
  15. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac chucks a water cooler full of tapioca into the battlefield.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  16. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Most of the tapioca pudding hits Oversoul. This contact with the flesh of the chosen one causes the pudding to mutate into Causticversoul, destroyer of lint!*
  17. WickedBoy6 Captain of the Atog Army

    *Once Wicked comes to, the Jugglatogs had gone, bored of beating his unconsious body. Standing up, he dusted himself off, wiping the blood from his cheek, eye, nose, lip, neck, arm, and leg. Looking up, he saw the pudding and shook his head*

    You guys can't have pudding without...vanilla wafers!

    *Quickly, Wicked casted Wafer Rain, and millions of timy vanilla cookies began falling from the sky...on fire, of course.*
  18. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    DarthFerret, still licking the coconut pudding from his face, starts running wildly in circles once he realized that on flaming wafer had set the lint on fire....(stupidly, he never thought about just dropping it...)
  19. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    *Meanwhile in hell... An infernal baker creates a devilish dish that uses flaming vanilla wafers... Interesting coincidence...*
  20. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Causticversoul casts Terminate on the lint.*

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