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*Ransac kicks RXI in the nuts. Unfortunately for RXI, that was the last kick he could take and promptly turned into ashes. The monkeys rejoice and name Ransac their new savior. Then, Ransac realizes that he must be high, because all of the monkeys are dead. Ransac slaps himself and sees that his...

*Ransac, hearing from Sole Specter's attorney's, gives a bag of money to a monkey to give to Sole Specter, who is at the hospital. The monkey swings by his window and tosses in the money. The bag knocks Sole Specter off his bed and it lands on his nuts.* Ransac, cpa trash man

My brother took the test and will die 3 years before I do. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He will die at the age of 81. His stats:Heart Attack(28%) Cancer(17%) Suicide(10%) Alien Abuction(7%) Homicide(7%) Confusion(5%) Drowning(5%) Loneliness(5%) He questions the drowning, but...

I know of a guy that plays a similar deck. Splash red for Urza's Rage and replace something for Mageta and you have a winner. Ransac, cpa trash man

*In chipmunk voice*Hey, what happened? KILL THE DOG FARTS!!!!!!! *Six midgets jump into the battle and juggle melted snowballs.* Ransac, cpa trash man

If only WE could fly. *Ransac takes a slingshot and starts pinging the monkies out of the sky.* Ransac, cpa trash man

Are you scared? *Little children say*:He's here *BOOM!!!!!!!!!* Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'! FUZZY'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, if K9Archmage would come out of retirement, the crazy faction will be reunited. Ransac, cpa trash man

*Ransac runs by in the background, wearing nothing but a mint pattie.* Ransac, cpa trash man

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! April 9, 2069 Age:86 Cause:Heart attack(26%) Cancer(23%) Alian Abuction(5%) Suicide(5%) Horrible Accident(5%) Contagious Disease(5%) Auto-Fellatio(5%) I'LL LIVE LONGER THAN MOST OF YOU, except Nodnarb24, due to his second...

Valentine Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ransac, cpa trash man

I depends on how you wants to play it. Judging on the decks playing, here is a small demo. Pay attention that the deck will be about 70 cards. 4 Lightning Bolt 4 Incinerate 4 Earthquake 3 Rolling Thunder 3 Fanning the Flame 3 Urza's Rage 2 Mana Flare 4 Counterspell 3 Mana Leak 3 Force of...

My GOD! We're having new crazy people people pop up everywhere!!!!!!!!! But, none of them are a match for me. It's not possible. Ransac, cpa trash man

If you have the cards to make it, build counter-burn. It ALWAYS works or me in type 1.5. But, don't build it if you don't have Force of Will. Ransac, cpa trash man

ILLEGAL MEMBER! ILLEGAL MEMBER!!!! *Three pizza delivery guys hold down Bob, handcuff him, and throw him in a prison cell.* You will stay there until you are of age. Ransac, cpa trash man

HURRAH FOR CT. BRING OUT THE DANCERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Three poodles and fifteen chipmmunks in skirts scurry out and start biting people.* Hmmmm. Maybe I should've trained them first. Ransac, cpa trash man

*Ransac, covered with ink, demands a bucket full of doody-crud to be delivered at his own doorstep. When it arrives, he tells Daggertooth to open the door. Daggertooth opens the door and Ransac pushes him into the bucket.* I think I'd take ink over what you're smelling. Ransac, cpa trash man

Hey, Zadok! If you go to the Pro Tour and play goblin game, use my idea, okay? Ransac, cpa trash man

How old will you be? Oh, and LOOK OUT FOR THAT TREE!!!!!!!!!!! *Bob walks into a fire hydrant in an attempt to miss the tree.* Ransac, cpa trash man

Atlanta, Ga. Well, actually, Marietta, but it's close enough to Atlanta. Ransac, cpa trash man

Seeing as how I am always participating in them and that I help make them famous I'd have to say the new off-topic battles. Ransac, cpa trash man