Why is the CPA so freakin' boring?

[Darsh]

Alright, I know I'm going to get flamed by this but it has to be said. What happened? We used to have crazy parties in the Off Topic and even crazier battles in the Battle Arena...now we have boring battles and "Attack of the Wyndilins(or something like that). Lighten up people! Have some fun! We can't discuss MTG 24/7, it's not healthy...lets just have fun.

 

[DÛke]

...because...'just 'cause! Don't ask why, it'jus'is! Those are one of the things I dare not question...how DARE you attempt such, such...such flaw-full question! Peasant!

I think it's boring because of Purple Girl doesn't post much any more. It's so lame...so lame, if I have to explain HOW lame, I would die out before finishing the explination...

I know what you mean...

Oh, and "freakin'" is my word.

 

[Darsh]

Well thats one person that lightened up...anyone else?

 

[nodnarb24]

the main reason is that the founders are really hitting on spam, so no crazy pointless parties. Also no one has been able to bring up a good fight topic.

 

[DÛke]

...me fighting and mouthing off Almindhra/Mr.Pestilence/Istanbul/Zero be any good? I could do it you know.

 

[Darsh]

You don't have to spam to have a good time.

Anyway it depends on your definition of spam.

 

[Hawaiian mage]

Yes, 'twas fear of the founders that kept me from my usuall insanity. Now I stay within the bounds of logic.

Darsh, thank you very much for bringing this up. Now we will have weeks of argueing about the spam issue again. Except this time WE have the advantage! Hwaa ha ha!

 

[Ura]

whether its called spam by some or not, it could be that some people have just gotten bored with pointlessness.
I know I got bored of the battle arena after the first couple weeks I was here cause it was always the same thing time after time after time.

 

[Darsh]

What do you think about the Weatherlost thread? I know some people would consider it pointless but we're practically begging Whimsical to come back and write more of it.

 

[DÛke]

...Seriously, I never thought I do this but--

<DÛke gets out a machinegun>

Me: I never have fought that way in the CPA. I guess there's a first for everything...I want someone on my side, I'm gonna go kill them...

<a shadowy figure appear from afar, and with a soft, sexy, feminine voice...>

Voice: I would like to join you DÛke, it is time to kill! Kill...<salivates>Yes, kill...kill them all baby!

Me: Aren't you? <interrupted by HER>

Voice: Yes, SIR! <she stands up straight a salutes>

Me: Um? Me? Sir? Ya'better recognize girl! <blushes a bit since I didn't know I was a "Sir">

Voice: with <British accent> my name is Cammy, Sir! From Street Fighter...you know, the girl you always pick to kick some Street Fighters' butt!

Me: I THOUGHT you looked familiar! Yeah, I loved your "Cannon Drill"!

Cammy: Yeah? Well, let's kick THEIR butts!

Me: <smiles and thinks of Cammy as a sidekick> Ok.

Cammy: But, who are "THEY"?

Me: The founders! Mission 1: Zadok. He is to be assassinated as soon as possible. His influence upon the other founders is amazingly incredible. <wonders a bit> by kicking his GREATER GOOD butt, we could be on to something!

Cammy: Sir, Zadok's head quarter base is located at 24-55 Star City, we cannot get there THAT early because for sure, we'll encounter TomB, Zadok's Right Hand.

Me: You are right, Cammy, babe.<attempting to hit on Cammy...I SAID "ATTEMPTING">

Cammy: Ah, NO. I'm not a babe, SIR! <though she seems to like to be called a babe: She stood straight up again and saluted like there was no tomorrow>

Me: Anyway...so TomB it is? TomB is located at 24-33 at the CPA Founders' Party at the Random Address; he is supposed to be having dinner with a mastermind that goes by the name of "Whimsical". Cammy...I gotta go freshin'up...here's my phone number <takes Cammy's hand and writes phone number on it>, call me.

Cammy: YES, SIR! I'll call you, don't tell me the time...I KNOW!

Me: Ok, I'll go for now...remember, first Mission is to find the mercenary TomB at the famous party of the CPA Founders' Party. He'll be there with "Whimsical", which might be a problem, because Whimsical was thought to be dead many times...but her spirit just keeps coming back up, OVER and OVER again, so...CAMMY, you gonna have to do some Cannon Drillin', Cannon Strikin', and Hello Sirin', Sexin' and many other things in order to get to TomB...

Cammy: Sexin'? <wonders about how sex is gonna come in handy> Anyway, YES SIR!

Me: See ya! <turns around and disappears in the crowd in the street after taking a look at Cammy: well round in all the right places>

Cammy: See YA, SIR! <looks at me while going away>

Cammy: Hmmm....TomB...backed up by Whimsical...that means...that...that means...that...that Zadok is backed by...by...by ZERO! MY RIVAL! There must be away...there must be a traitor to these founders...or someone...something...I must prove myself to my SIR!<Cammy's eyes widened> <Cammy uses her mechanical mind and intellect to recall some information, but nothing comes up> <she finds a bar, orders a vodka, and waits for the right time to call>

 

[Purple_jester]

Whadya mean I don't post much any more? I do post. It's just that there aren't very many interesting Off-Topic Threads going around recently. And besides, I have things to do. Skinning my neighbor's cat, stealing a few cars, taking over the world. Y'know, typical stuff any decent young lady would do in her spare time.

BTW, DUkey, any comments on your (finally) president-elect. He IS an alien reploid, in case you forgot. Has your FBI found the real Bush's pickled body yet? Last I recall, I had pinpointed the drop-zone of the preservation pod somewhere in South Dakota.

Like I care. I'm glad the reploid won. The other guy (Venusian through and through, if you ask me) is too much of a sore loser. Then again, I'd be pissed off too if I had gotten the most votes, yet still wasn't the president.

Regardless, if the reploid starts the US Cloning Program and Conscription, you can bunk here with me if you like. I'll send my address sometime, and you can drop by.

Wow. I'm ranting. Why? Not sure. must be lack of sleep. Lemee check... Yep, it's definitely lack of sleep. G'nite boys.

 

[Ransac]

Time for MY two cents.

I wasn't aware that you could have parties on a web site? It must be hard to blow the candles out. Seriously, why don't you just post some topics you find interesting and see what happens. I think it's boring when no one post opinions about topics I'M interested in. That's why I post so many threads. And most of my threads get heavy response. Speaking of which, I should post a new question on who wants to pretend to be a millionaire.



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[DÛke]

...I see your point of view Purple Girl...though, this place was much better with you -- wait, what am I saying? You're still here! <turns red> Sorry . Oh and about Bush, yeah, I'm working so hard on the papers...I'm trying to prove that he's an alien. I mean, it just you and me that could see it...everyone else is blind or somethin'...we'll prove it to them...WE WILL.

The only thread in the Off-Topic that it a bit heart capturing is the Lazarus one. I'm trying to find out who he is.

Anyway...

<Hours have past>
Cammy was still sitting down, drinking vodka! She must have had plenty...and I mean plenty! She even seemed drunk sitting their flirting with the bartender, which was a female by the way!

Cammy: <to the bartender> yeah, I'm sick of guys too...I mean, they don't respect us ladies, they mouth off, and they just want ONE thing from us!

Bartender: Yeah, I know what you mean! I think I'll flip into the other side of me...<hinting to Cammy>

Cammy: I hear ya baby!

Bartender: <looking at Cammy while serving her yet another whole bottle of Vodka> Hey, I'm outta here soon, wanna catch a sleep or somethin'?

Cammy: No...I'm on a mission with this dude, DÛke...he's my "SIR". We're trying to find out why the CPA is so boring...so we figured that it was because the moderators are up tight, SO, we're haunting them ALL down!

Bartender: WOW! In yer condition?

Cammy: Yeah...well DÛke's a guy, he doesn't understand us ladies...anyway, that reminds me, I gotta call him, we should start our hunt soon...

Bartender: I'll give you a call sometimes...

Cammy: You do that...

<Cammy gets out the bar and calls me. We talk, and we're ready to start the first mission: finding TomB with Whimsical and extracting some information>

<I arrive at Cammy's place (the street corner) at about 8:30 A.M. in my 1999 dark green camaro> <picks up Cammy, and drives off to find TomB>

Me: Let's go! Whow! What happened to you!

Cammy: I got drunk! What happened to YOU!

Me: Me? What?

Cammy: Why are you all dressed or something like we're going to a club?

Me: We ARE goin' to a party you know <talking while driving>, we need to look elegant and eye capturing...

Cammy: Well, I don't feel like looking "eye capturing" or whatever the hell...

Me: That's alright, all we need you to do is flirt a bit with TomB so you can get some info about Zadok's base. <looks at Cammy> And you're drunk, you're perfect!

Cammy: You're just using me as bait aren't you?

Me: No...no...see, we will do stuff together later on, but we gotta move this story and make is sound just a bit interesting so we wouldn't bore the readers to death...

Cammy: OH! By the way, I don't wanna do anything with you...

Me: Your loss. <grins>

Cammy: So, if I'm gonna flirt with a guy, I need to know some stuff about him...

Me: Well, just flirt, he's known to fall into ladies traps all his life.

Cammy: What about that Whimsical gal!

Me: Leave her up to me!

Cammy: Ok...

<Drives through the highways...>
<Busts out the radio (freakin' LOUD!>

Me: We'll be there in no time.

Cammy: Sure we are...SIR! <sacractically speaking>

 

[Cateran Emperor]

Oh that's it! I knew I never should've left the arena!

[me]pulls out the Evisceratin' Scythe version 2.0 and charges madly back at the arena[/me]

 

[DÛke]

...<After driving for about 2 hours...>
Cammy fell asleep along the way. I guess I was boring for her...or because she drank countless amount of vodka: make your pick.

I was getting tired of driving myself. I mean, where is the CPA Founders' Party anyway?

Me: <barely speaking>I wonder if there's anyone around here to ask about the Party.

Cammy: <sleep talking> No, stop it...you CAN'T!

Me: <looks at the sleeping Cammy> Ok...<exclamatory>

Cammy: <sleep talking again> No, don't touch THAT! Yeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh, yeeeeah...right, THERE!

Me: <grins> I HAVE NO idea what she's dreaming about or of...

Cammy suddenly wakes up from which appeared to be a deep down phantasy dream...

Cammy: <squeezing her eyes with her hands> are we there yet dude!

Me: Whow, whow...WHOW! "Dude"? You're pushing your limits, there, Cammy! That was quite a dream you had there...

Cammy: OH, sorry..."SIR"...<rolls eyes>Are we almost there? <changing the subject AWAY from the dream>

Me: Yep.

<20 minutes later>

Cammy: Is that it? <pointing out a big, cheerful building, with all kind of lights shining on and from it.
<Cammy's eye widened> WOW!

Me: YEP, that's it. Remember, Cammy, we are here for strictly BUSINESS...don't go playin'round, umkay?

Cammy: Oh, don't worry...<grins> I've got it AAAAALLLL planned...SIR <speaks in a “desirable” way>

Me: Hey: look at all those limos…they must be of the founders…

Cammy: Whaaaow! The founders are rich? I think I’m gonna get something out of THIS NIGHT <smiles lavishly>

Me: Ok, here’s the parking…<looks around a feels just a BIT embarrassed for not having his my own driver and limo…>

Cammy: Ok, you go and leave me in the car…I need to “freshen up”…

Me: We DON’T have time for this Cammy…

Cammy: Well, if I’m going to talk to some like TomB, I got to look good, you know…I mean…I do want <thinks about what she was about to say and then changes her thoughts quickly>…want…I just want to look good while doing business with you…sir!

Me: Oh, well in that case…go ahead…when you’re done, come back to the car and page me with your cell phone so I could finish up…IF I don’t finish first that is…if I page you, get done FAST, and come back as soon as you could...

Cammy: Ok..sir <grins>. Go now…I need to put on a new face…

Me: <thinking that Cammy will screw this> Ok. Just in case of ---<RUDLEY and LOUDLY interrupted by Cammy>

Cammy: SIR, don’t play around the sun! I’ll do my thing, and you do yours…don’t worry.

<I leave the parking lot, wondering what she meant by “don’t play around the sun”…she meant, “don’t ring around the rosy”...I think>

<I see the big entrance, which was guarded by a big, FAT, guard. He was wearing dark shades…>
<I presume to walk right in, hoping to be unnoticed with the crowds coming in…BUT>

Guard: HEY, YOU! <loud, aggressive voice>

Me: me?

Guard: Yeah! And who do you think YOU are coming in this party?

Me: What? You gotta be kiddin’ me man! I’m DÛke! I won the Ransac Super Star Award 2000-01! <hoping that this guard is stupid enough to accept me as a celebrity...after all, who was RANSAC anyway?>

Guard: Ransac’s Super Star Award huh? You mean to tell me that you know Ransac, THE---<interrupted by me>

Me: Yeah…DUH! He's my buddy! <acting all cool and s**t>

Guard: WOW! Ok…I think I’ve heard of that Award before and Ransac is my favorite...um...my favorite...I don't know why he's my favorite, I gotta remember <I stand quitly looking at this idiot talking about Ransac like Ransac was SOMEONE>…you a founder of the CPA?

Me: <it's about time he stops talking about Ransac> ME? Well…um…DUH! Yaaah! It’s like, why would I be here!

Guard: Of course…how stupid of me <we both laugh at this point…MY laugh CLEARLY was fake though> Com in, DÛke, Sir…

Me: Thank you…oh and by the way, my girl is gonna be comin’ soon, her name is Cammy…SO LET her in without any “humorous” questions, eh?

Guard: Sure, Sir.

<I walk right to the party…it was crowded…there were people from all walks of life! There was Spiderman in there (another CPA editor/founder/worker…Dune Echo I also see…Wow…this place is FULL! There were also movie stars…singers…artists…WHOW! I mean, just by walking, slowly…I happen to catch Madonna…Ricky Martin's head on a stick…Jonathan Davis…Fred Durst…>

Me: This is gonna be fun and informative…I just hope Cammy doesn’t get in a lot of trouble…

[Edited by DÛke on 12-23-00 at 07:51 PM]

 

[dw51688]

I have too noticed a slight decline in activity. Let's parte!

(The accents aren't working and I can't put one over the e)

 

[Multani]

This is quite interesting...
Well, DUke's gonna need backup.

[me]summons his Elvish army and lies in wait on a hill near the partyhouse. Alright men! We have an agent to cover. He also has other generals with him. Nodnarb! Take right flank. We don't want any founders to get word of this. Riva! You're men are point. Riva gets pumped up and starts swearing profanely. Cateran! Jam there communication. I don't want so much as a single radar wave getting past our lines. H-mage! You're point defense. In case we have to retreat, your men will cover our escape. My elves and I will charge in and secure the structure ONCE DUke is safely out away from the area. Darsh, Apollo. See to it that not a single bullet gets within 5 feet of DUke and Cammy. Dw! Your in charge of ground support and armor. I'll take care of air support. I've arranged a flight of B-52's to bomb the area in case of an emergency. Questions!? Are we clear! Good! Meet back here in one hour. Assault begins at 2300 hours. Dismissed![/me]

 

[DÛke]

Wow, thanks Multani!

I walk through the party, trying to look as normal and acceptable as virtually possible. I get out my cell phone, step in a corner, and call Multani and his troops:

Me: Multani, thanks for the back up man! As soon as Cammy and me are out of this junk party, I’ll give you the signal to “crash” it…and I MEAN: CRASH IT! Crash this bad boy with missiles, shotguns…bombs…anything! Just wait for the signals! <looks around making sure no one is eavesdropping> Ok, I gotta go find Whimsical…she’s with TomB…I’ll distract her from TomB…that’s when Cammy comes in, luring in TomB, flirting, and even “sexin’” in order to get some minor, if not MAJOR, information about Zadok’s Founder Base. <takes out dark shades and wears them> Remember, when I give you the signal…<shuts the cell phone and stands there, examining the many members of the party…TomB was nowhere to be seen>

Me: <to self> I wonder if I have to search him up…

<Meanwhile>

Cammy was “freshen” up now…
She heads to the entrance, and the “FAT guard” doesn’t “humor” her (thanks to me).

Cammy entered the party…she was looking hot and sexy. It is unbelievable the way she looked BEFORE…now…she’s something else…

I was standing their examing the crowd closely but unnoticibly, and I see the new Cammy.

Me: <to self> Ouch! <heads over to Cammy> Hey…

Cammy: Oh, it’s you…<looking around> Did you find Whimsical?

Me: No…not yet…still looking…this place is freakin’ big!

Cammy: Yeah well…we don’t have time, remember…go do your work…Multani is waiting to crash this place down…

Me: Ok, you go find TomB, I’ll go find Whimseee…I’ll meet you at the enterance, hurry up!

Cammy: See you then.

<Cammy and I separate our ways>

Cammy: Now where is this TomB guy…hmmm…she looks around, and spots a servant that’s serving some wine. <Cammy decides to extract some info from him…she walks over to him, slowly, and attractively> Hey…I’m looking for a friend I’m supposed to meet in here, his name is TomB…<blinks rapidly as if she was innocent>

Servant: Well, TomB is upstairs with Whimsical. <points at the huge, spirally stair steps leading up>

Cammy: WITH Whimsical? Oh, ok…<wonders a bit> Thanks…<walks away and wonders:> I think I’ll let
DÛke know about this…<gets out a cell phone> <dials> Hello…

Me: Yeah? Cammy…

Cammy: I found TomB and Whimsical, hurray for me b***h!

Me: What?

Cammy: I found TomB and Whimsical, I can’t persuade Whimsical…I’m sorry to say it, but I need you…

Me: Great, where you at?

Cammy: Wherever you left me…<sigh>

Me: Ok, be right there! <hangs up>

Me: I just hope Multani doesn’t go crazy, blowing this place while we’re still in…

[Edited by DÛke on 12-23-00 at 07:58 PM]

 

[fuzzy510]

I'm probably the reason the CPA is boring. Yeah, go ahead, blame the thread theif!!!!

 

[Darsh]

[me] tackles fuzzy, ties him up and locks him in the trunk of his car.[/me]

Me: <to self> dang, I need to get over to the party.

<arrive at the party in my fly ride(Pinto), people give me funny looks (they just be hatin') I arrive at the door with a honey on each arm>

Guard: Whoa, just hold it right there, and just was the heck are you?

Me: Sucka, I'm fast rhymin D and I'm here for the party

Guard: Right...and were you invited?

Me: Man, you think I get dressed up like this for nothin? <Jeans saggin to my knees with a torn T-shirt>

Guard: I'm sorry, you'll have to leave <motioning me aside>

Me: You betta watch you'self, I'll pop a cap in ya right here, Mack 2, 4, and 7!

Guard: Will you leave me alone if I let you in?

Me: I don't want to look at you a second longer.

Guard: Fine, just get out of my face.

Me: Yeah! Now I jus gotta find Duke...

<notices Hugh Hefner and some of HIS honeys>

Me: In a little while....mabye.

<waders off twoards Hugh>