Welcome to Killer Joe's Cafe

Killer Joe

Active Member
ACK!!!!

*KJ is horrified to see Nighty-Night's cardboard carapase with a hole in it and him holding the kerosene and lighter...*

RUN!!!

...but first, How 'bout a cup-o-joe Nighty?
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac walks by the cafe after several months. Apparently, he never locked it after his last shift 7 months ago and the bums have moved in.*

This won't do.


*Ransac casts Living Earth on the bums' pants, which are covered with enough dirt to constitute as land. The pants come to life and carry the frightened, yet oblivious, bums far away.*


Okay, that takes care of that. I wonder why KJ hasn't shown up, either. Oh well. ANYBODY WANT A CUP OF COFFEE ON ME??


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
............WELL! The customer is always right.


*Ransac pours himself a scalding cup of coffee and proceeds to dump it over his head and body. Instantly, Ransac screams in pain and runs around the counter area, knocking over appliances, napkin dispensers, glasses, customers, and whatnot.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
Mooseman chooses this time to enter the cafe and fork the coffee dumping incendent onto rokapoke, who screams in pain and runs around the counter area, knocking over appliances, napkin dispensers, glasses, customers, and whatnot.

Suddenly a herd of paramilitary seals enter the cafe and take everyone hostage......
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac, still in scalding pain and flailing his arms around like crazy, manages to subdue five of the seals before they shoot him with tranquilizers.*

Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac's pain is subsided by KJ's words.*

UNGRATEFUL...!!!!!!


*Ransac pulls a billy club from one of the seals and charges at KJ.*

Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Nightstalkers

Creature — Nightstalker
With all said and done and a Nightstalker still hanging around to implore the employ of the forces of improbability, nothing could have foresaw the events that were about to unfold. With the tiniest of sounds an almost unfathomably small splinter creaked up from the floor in front of Ransac and, without much delay, tripped the mighty figure bellowing towards Joe. As he fell the billy club he was wielding slipped from his grasp and landed on the edge of a table, upturning it and propelling it's contents through the air. To much of Ransac's dismay one of these said objects happened to be an overripe bowl of cereal that had been left to molder some weeks ago and was simply forgotten about until now; anyways, with the sudden energy given to the bowl launched itself towards Ransac's face and was now careening towards him at an alarming rate.
It seems that the powers of improbability just weren't on his side.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Oh..... poopie.

*The bowl of mold smacks Ransac right in the face. The seals, KJ, and everyone there points and laughs at Ransac. Defeated and dejected, Ransac retreats to the kitchen to make more cakes.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Nightstalkers

Creature — Nightstalker
With Joe's previous statement still lingering in the air, a feral troupe of Orks deem his guttural tongue to be that of a squib and charge for Joe's establishment. The Nightstalker sitting next to the door simply looks up and says, "oh, visitors... how nice."
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac stares at KJ.*

If they ask for Death Pie, again, we're out of the ingredients.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Killer Joe

Active Member
Well How do you do,....um,....er,.....Mr. Squib? You don't happen to like Death Pie do you? And, oh yes, cleaning toilet bowls is a must,...however you can accomplish that.

Don't call us Mr. Squib, Squibby, Squibbifone, Squibarino, Squibmeister, we'll call you. ;)


















NOT!
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac has finished baking enough cakes to power a small factory for a week.*


We still need to discuss my back-payment.... it's in my contract to actually get paid, along with getting paid overtime if I happen to work more than 2 hours a week, taking breaks whenever I feel like it, having 25% ownership of the restaurant, filling some of the pies with inappropriate undergarments, and my own company limosine filled with boggle!!!, okay?


*Ransac begins to bake croissants.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Well, I need SOME kind of reimbursement for the past year, or else I'll go on strike from baking!!!!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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