Welcome to Killer Joe's Cafe

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Killer Joe, Jul 9, 2006.

  1. Killer Joe Active Member

    I'm open for business

    What'll it be?

    ~Menu~
    Coffee a.k.a. Crushed Bean NO fancy stuff!
    Soda Pop (any kind except Creme of Soda - that's my favorite and you can't have any!)
    Water (for you healthy freaks and its Spigot water, too)

    Pie (any kind except Lemon Marenguine - that's my favorite and you can't have any!)

    Each menu item comes with a complimentary napkin, plastic spork utensil, and sometimes a sarcastic remark (especially if no tip is left).

    All menu items are Free*


























    *Ch-yeah, right! :D
  2. orgg Administrator

    Chicken and Dumpling pie, if you would, with a coke.
  3. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    I'd like a Lime Marenguine pie, whole please.


    And a nice big cup of chai =^_^=
  4. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    A slice of apple pie and a liter of cola*


    *I don't want a large I want a G0D-Damned LITER of COLA
  5. reco5151216 The Mehful One

    Apple Pie and a 2 liters of crap (iced)tea*. If you do it right I shall tip 2000 yen**.


    *By crap I mean of bad quality compared to others.
    **Little more than 20 bucks.(I really love apple pie and tea.)
  6. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    I'll have a Black Cherry Cola and a "Money-Money" Pie (that's a pie filled with dozens of whole $100 US bills.... and it only costs me $4).


    Ransac, cpa trash man
  7. Limited Yes, but we won't care

    I'll just have a coffee... not feeling very awake right now.
  8. Killer Joe Active Member

    I was in the back room,........doing something :rolleyes:

    First up, Orgg: Okay, so, are you SURE want this whole pie? I mean maybe you'd be satisfied with just a slice (small slice), and maybe a DIET Coke instead? ALRIGHT, here's your whole pie TRANS FAT and all for the crust and a ice cold Coke (it's the Real Thing) ;)

    NEXT!

    Nighty-Night: Sure, a LIME meranguine pie, how about a drink with that? A hot cup of Joe, maybe? Step aside and think about that.

    NEXT!

    Tabasco: Here's your slice of Apple sit-up pie and here are our sizes of drinks:
    ~Diminished (which is our old small but the size of our medium)
    ~Mezzo (which is our old medium but the size of a large)
    ~Forte (which is our old large but the size of an extra large)
    ~Grande (which is our old super-size but the size of an supe/super size)
    Think about that, step aside and get yer order right!

    NEXT!

    reco-suave: Here's your whole pie and, DO YOU SEEEEEE "tea" on the menu? Okay, hold on.........[KJ leans into the doorway of the kitchen]

    "Hey Yosef! Go across the street and get me some "tea" from Ying-Lee's, will ya? CHOP-CHOP!"

    Step aside reco, I'll be with ya in a minute.

    NEXT!

    Ransac: Here's yer Black Cherry Cola and a Money-Money pie, sorry I didn't have enough $100 dollar bills in the back, in fact, I didn't have any, so I substituted with Monopoly $100 bills (already been played with Monopoly bills :)).

    Have a Good Day!

    NEXT!

    Limited: Here's yer cup of Joe. Enjoy.

    Hope you have a better day! :)



    Crimminy, while yinz guys are deciding or waiting on your drink orders how about some chit-chat on daily life?

    How 'bout that All-Star baseball game in Pittsburgh? Anyone going?
  9. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Waiter? I'd like to have a different pie. I'm allergic to fake money. Whole $20 US bill's are an acceptable replacement.


    Oh, and an appetizer of Cheese-Sticks.

    *Ransac starts up the Jukebox with "The Internet is for Porn" from Avenue Q

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  10. Killer Joe Active Member

    Oh, I see, a WISEGUY, eh? How 'bout this, I replace your money-money pie with our infamous "Wish-Pie", you know, its a pie and you *wish* you had something in it! MuWhahahahaha!!!!!!

    Do you SEE!? Cheese-Sticks on the menu?

    "Hey Josef, put that tea down and com'ere, I want youse to do something for me....."

    ~whatinthehell is that noise comming from?
  11. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Cheese-sticks are implied as an appetizer on ANY menu! So, chop-chop.

    Hey! This "Wish Pie" is pretty good!

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  12. Tabasco DDR Fanatic

    how hard is it to find a liter of cola?

    why is there not a venti size?

    you have a grande but no venti...

    FINE, but I want a whole pie since I can't have my liter of cola... and I want a gallon of Orange juice
  13. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    I just want a pocket full of rye.


    And, I will not be going to the All-Star game. Haven't even made it to an Astros game yet.
  14. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    I'd like a cup of chai please. ^_^

    0.0

    Aaahhh!!! There's a fly in my pie!

    *throws the lime merangue pie in Ransac's face*
  15. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac wipes the pie off of his face.*

    Oh, it's on now.

    *Ransac unleashes the first plague of Ransac..... in the diner. Millions of weasels begin stampeding out of the bathroom.*



    Ransac, cpa trash man
  16. Zigathon Registered Nerd

    *crushes the head of a weasel as he stumbles in*

    Hey! Is there any booze around here? Also, I'd like a big plate of sloppy joes. Make them extra sloppy, if you can.
  17. Killer Joe Active Member

    Okay, now where was I? Oh, yes, those drink orders.

    Nighty-Night: Okay, here's your chai (coffee really) and that fly is extra if youse want it put on your bill.

    Tabasco: Fine. Here's your whole apple pie and your gal. of OJ (coffee really).

    reco-suave: Here's your tea and don't you worry about that mucus stuff on the lid Yosef has............"Hey Josef! What'd the clinic say you have?"...anyway, you'll be okay by time you're good at playing Magic ;)

    OKAY. Listen up!: We're running a Joe's Blue Light Special for the next two days: Weasal Soup. If yinz want the fur in the souyp it's gonna be extra and put on yer bill.

    Ransac: I don't mind the weasals, obviously, but their *poop* is your problem! No go in the back and get an apron on and start licking, um,....er,....I mean sweeping! I got payin' customers here! Oh, and another thing, here's a towel for that pie crap on your face.

    Zigathon: Sorry about the mess, Ransac is working on it now. Sorry, no booze, this is a family cafe' so's howse 'bout a nice cup o' Joe? AND, it just happens that I now HAVE meat for Sloppy Joes, heh, even extra sloppy. Hey Josef! dust off the grinder, I got something for youse to do."

    NEXT!
  18. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    Can I just get a Coke and a slice of apple pie?
  19. Mooseman Isengar Tussle

    Pizza, no anchovies
  20. Killer Joe Active Member

    Spiderman: Here's yer Coke and a slice of our delicious aplle pie WITH yer complimentary spork and napkin. Oh, by the way, there's this guy selling off some poor saps stuff for really cheap, if ya want in on the action just let me know ;)

    Moosie; Oh boy, another imaginary reader. Do you SEE pizza PIE on the menu? Step aside and read our menu!

    Ziggy: Here's yer extra sloppy joe, the eyeballs are on us!

    NEXT!

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