Hey look! I'm in the finals! That means I care enough to do a writeup!!!
The Golden Toilet- #8 The Takklemaggots vs. #7 Dread Reapers: Dread Reapers started off with promise with a 5-3 record before losing the last 6 games of the season with the highest points total being a paltry 241. In fact, DR hasn’t scored more than 253 points since week 2, so the mid season 3-game streak may have been more with how poorly his opponents fared those weeks and less with his team’s prowess. Fortunately, he is paired against the lowly Takklemaggots…. *sigh* how the mighty have fallen. A recent back-to-back champion reduced to a shell of his former self due to inactivity; either that or he prays every week that Gronk will magically get activated off of IR and score 100+ points. DR should coast to an easy win, though the committee doesn’t believe this game warrants a trophy anymore so….. enjoy the toilet.
WINNER: Dread Reapers
The “Too-Little-Too-Late” Streaking Trophy - #6. Dwarven Miners vs. #5 TomBStonerS: This trophy was originally named due to the winning streaks of the 5th and 6th place winners from years past who won out to not make the playoffs; this does not describe this year’s participants who both finished the season 2-2-1 over the final 5 weeks of the season, tying with each other in the process. Spidey’s Miners were never really in contention this year, while a midseason 4-game losing streak may have spelled the end for TomB. TomB actually missed the playoffs by that tie (and 73 points), so he didn’t fair badly save for that streak. On paper, TomB has an advantage due to his passing attack lead by Drew Brees and Kirk Cousins (with decent matchups against the TB and CHI seconaries). There are a few interesting matchups, with Drew Brees’ hot target Michael Thomas starting for DM and Spidey’s Russell Wilson going head to head with TomB’s Arizona Defense. The Seattle matchup is where I’ll hang my hat this week, as the Seahawks have a good history of playing Arizona in December and with a 7-0 record at home so far. Even though TomB is a 22-point favorite, I suspect good things for Spidey.
WINNER: Dwarven Miners
The “Horseshoes, Hand Grenades and Nuclear Bombs” 3rd Place Trophy - #1 Inaction in Action vs. #3 Moosejaw Charge: Rokapoke picked an awkward time of the year to have his worst game of the year; he can thank subpar games from Rodgers, Brady, Hilton, and Sanders for that. Meanwhile, Mooseman saw his 4-1 stretch brought to a half at the hands of Simarils by a mere 4 points. This also looks it could be the highest scoring matchup of the week, with potential huge turnouts from all 4 QB’s, every HB and multiple receivers. So, who looks better? Brady and Rodgers play against tough secondaries (though I still trust they’ll find some way), while Big Ben and Lucky Boy get comparatively easy passing defenses. Bell and Murray have been studs, though Ajayi may be trying for another 200 yard game. The big thing could be that Mooseman has the Minnesota defense; if they shut down Rodgers, the swing could be too big for Roke to come back from. How do I see this going. Well in the preseason, I picked the Packers over the Raiders in the Super Bowl and (as much as I’d hate to see that happen) I’m not backing down.
WINNER: Inaction in Action
The Rupert Dillinger Blakeley CPA FFL Trophy - #4 Ransac’s Maniacs vs. #2 Simarils: In my opinion, these two teams adequately represent how the NFL has looked this year. The two Dallas phenoms are present, with Dak on the Maniacs and Zeke on Simarils, the top offensive players being present, two of the best TEs in Kelce and Walker showing up, and four of the six total Pro Bowl RB’s showing up on these teams (not to mentioned 3 players talked about in the MVP conversation in Carr, Dak and Zeke). In the regular season, these two teams split, with Simarils taking the week 7 matchup by 45 points and Ransac winning by just 10 a couple of weeks ago. Melkor experienced a wonderful stretch in midseason, winning 7 in a row and scoring over 300 5 times (and 400 once!); however, he finished the season on a two game losing streaking, scoring his two lowest totals of the season and won his playoff game last week with not much better. Ransac’s maniacs was a model of inconsistency throughout the season, trading wins and losses back and forth until winning the last four weeks of the season with three 325+ games (though winning the last game against Melkor with ALSO his worst game of the season). Over the past couple of weeks, the there is only a 13 points difference between their points totals. Today and with their current lineups, Yahoo! likes the Maniacs by 9. Melkor hasn’t won since 2005, while Ransac is going for his 3rd since 2011. I’m crossing my fingers and boldly picking…
WINNER: Ransac’s Maniacs
Ransac, cpa trash man