Cry Havoc and Unleash the Dogs of War!!!

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac calls for a time out.*

I need to go to the bathroom.

*Ransac runs down the aisle to get to the bathroom. however, before he gets to the end, he turns around, hangs his head in shame, and walks back to the ring.*

Nevermind.

*Meanwhile, several spectators slip unexpectedly in the aisle.*

Fight back on.

*Ransac throws some brass knuckles towards ElGato and throws a gauntlet towards VB. Ransac winks at both of them.*

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
E

ElGato

Guest
ElGato catched the Knuckles, unsure as to what they are for.

"Ah, yes. Now I remember."

ElGato popped the tasty knuckles into his outh and chewed them up. He swalloed them and samcked his lips.

"A bit bland, but good none the less"

The Maul Lord turned his attention bac to Bane and, for good measure, kneed him in the face.

"Hang'n in there, Slinger?"

"Yeah, I'm cool"
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
sorry guys...been having comp problems....tried to post a few days ago and my screen went funny and started ticking.

anyway

**VB comes to and sees Dementia squatting on top of him**

Er...Joey?

Yeah?

Could you get off me?

Aw..come on...you are sooo comfy!

Errr.....umm....GATO IS COMFIER!!!!

**Joey immediately leaps up and hits El Gato with a Lou Fez press and seats himself on Gato's chest. VB gets to his feet and whistles. Harvey the Wonder Hampster flies in and bane whispers to him, Harvey gives a grim nod and immediately flies over and latches onto El Gato's groin and starts counting down**

Chirp....5....
Chirp....4....
Chirp....3....
Chirp....2....
Chirp....1....

**Harvey's self-destruct device goes off and Harvey explodes with the force of 10 sticks of dynamite in a huge flash of light. The power of the explosion sends El Gato flying out of the ring horizontally as Dementia rides his body screaming "YEEEEHAAAAA!!!!"**

Now THAT is a crotch shot!!!!!!
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac, whose attention was diverted by a passing butterfly, throws each contestant a can of mace, a shoe, and a miniature trojan horse model.*


Use them wisely.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
E

ElGato

Guest
ElGato shruged of Skinger, who turned his attention to one of The Maul Lord's Butweasels, which had wandered off.

"Yummy!"

Thinking quickly, The Maul Lord stuffed several dozen Butweasels into the Trojan Horse, then threw it over to Bane, and hid behind a large and convientiantly places shrubbery.

Bane examined it with glee

"Praised be Athena! A gift from my foe! Nothing bad can come of this!"

He tucked it into his hip pocket and began to head for ElGato when the Butweasels detonated, setting Ban'e pants and possibley his genitals on fire.

ElGato, by now, had started Macing several audience members, thinking it was breath spray and trying to improve their stank breath.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac smiles and is pleased.*

Okay, I'll start actually calling the match now.


*Ransac gets ready to make the one-two-three.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**VB immediately stops, drops and rolls. Luckily the fire only got one of the fake sets of genitalia he keeps in his shorts at all times. (Amazing how often they come in handy!). He kicks to his feet.**

DAmnit!!! I love these pants!!!!!!

**VB heads out into the audience and helps the wash out the blinded fan's eyes. The fans, now royally pissed all now rush Gato and jump up and down on him. **

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

**As Gato fights off the fans, Bane takes the Nameilus's jagged metal spine and strikes one end against the other creating sparks. He takes a shoelace and uses the sparks to ignite it and set fire to the shoe. he then takes the aerosol mace can the shoves it in the flaming shoe and counts til ten. He then tosses the shoe at the struggling Gato and it explodes in a blast of flaming mace and shrapnel. When the gas and smoke clears VB crawls up to the top turnbuckle and leaps off, hitting Gato with a Shooting Star and goes for the pin.**
 
E

ElGato

Guest
ElGato throws Bane across the ring, then, as the audience continues to try and kill him, he turns and combusts a nearby hotdog vender. The audience, now distracted by the shower of tasty hotdogs, rush to devore the suculent canines.

The Maul Lord runs over towards Bane and just as he gets up, grabs him in a Bearhug. As Baneshows little reponse to being squeezed, ElGato changs tactics, this time just causing Bane's hair to spontaniously combust. As Bane wiggles around, trying to put his hair out by spitting on it, ElGatp pulls him into an Inside Cradle, pinning the flaming Bane
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac counts the pin.*


One.......Two..........


*Bane kicks out less than half a second away from the Three-count.*



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Man...there have been alot of explosions and fire so far!

**As VB gets up there is a crash of glass as the explosions in the arena have started a full force riot throughout the city. VB ducks a Molotov cocktail that is thrown at him, and the ring bursts into flames**

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Flaming Ring of Death!!!!

**VB runs full tilt into Gato and spears him into the flaming ropes. As Gato tries to extinguish himself, grabs his arm, pulls him towards the center of the ring, turns sideways and drops on his side, dragging Gato down and putting him in a Guillotine Drop Painkiller Hold.**

TAP OUT YOU FLAMING KITTY CAT!!!!
 
E

ElGato

Guest
ElGato was trying to figure out a way to counter this move, then just decided to do what he always does and blow something up. This time he decided on Slinger, who was devoring a tasy hotdog.

BOOOM!!!

"I'm not letting go, moron" Bane said calmly.

He kept pulling ElGato's arm, but The Maul Lord had made another, more original plan by now. He slowly pulled his way out of the lock untill bane only had a painfull hold on ElGato's index finger. Bane grittedhis teeth and pulled with all his might

BOOOOMMM!!!!!

Bane flew over the ring and several audience members melted. Most of the other viewers started to gag.

ElGato got up, bruched himslef off, and poped his arm back into it's joint.

"What can I say? I got n explosive personality!"

Some of the not melting, none gagging viewers began to grab their temples and moan in pain.
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**VB, thinking fast, goes over to the firetrucks trying to put out the fires across the street cause by the riot, and takes about 2 dozen gas masks. He puts on one and passes around the other. With a might roar VB leads all the thoroughly pissed off fans Gato has injured in a revolt. Half of them grab Gato and hold him down while the others kick his about the head and groin. VB smiles, walks over, grabs Gato's legs and flips him over in the Elevated Boston Crab, hold tight while the fans continue to kick Gato in the face and head.**

ALWAYS REMEMBER THE FANS!!!!
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac looks at the fans and decides to freshen himself up for the tounament by beating up some fans.*


TAKE THIS!!!

*Ransac grabs a fan's leg, sweeps the other, and applies a standing ankle lock. After a minute, Ransac flips another fan over and applies Ransac's Breakdown submission(twisting half-boston crab). *

COME ON PEOPLE!! Let, these gentlemen duke it out.


*Ransac throws a tire iron into the middle of the ring.*

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
E

ElGato

Guest
Bane lets lose a mighty roar, and with a pull of terrible power, his rips off ElGato's cardboard legs. Wait....Cardboard legs? He puzzles this matter for a while, then decides to stop puzzling as he is a bit preocupied with the tireiron he just recieved to the temple.

"I thought that full sized cardboard cut-out would come in handy"

The audience begins to rush at The Maul Lord, and just as the are about to reach him, he pulls out a megaphone and shouts a few words...

"Will the person in seat #127850000Gpi-squared please report to the front desk to recieve his or her grand prize of the preserved body of Vladimir Lenin! That's seat #127850000Gpi-squared, folks!"

Every person in the audience rushes to their seat, not realizing that that isn't a real number seat.

ElGato resumes pounding Bane with the tire iron, when he hears a triumphant cry from the Front Office

"Huzzah!"

Slinger walks down to his seat, proudly carring Lenin.

"I got me a new Coffee table!"

ElGato turns to Dementia and, being irritated from the disruption of his beat-down, combusts him yet again. Lenin flies through the air and lands at ElGato's feat. With a shrug, The Maul Lord picks up Lenin and begins to beat Bane with the body and the tir iron at the same time...
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**VB desperately rolls out of the flaming ring and reaches under the mat, and pulls out the preserved body of.....dun dun dun...Tom Arnold!!!**

Dementia: Is Tom Arnold even dead?

VB: Does it really matter?

**VB takes Tom Arnold and re-enters the ring, weilding the weirdo and dueling with El Gato. Parry and thrust, they counter the other's every move and clash. They both raise their preserved bodies above their heads for a great blow when they are stopped by an ominous creaking noise**

El Gato: Errrr...what was that?

VB: No idea

Ransac: I know..BYE!

**Ransac leaps out of the ring into the bleachers just as the floor gives way. Apparently all the explosions, slams, fires and rioting had weakened the supports. The floor and the ring collapse and fall through into the bioler room below.**

Dementia: OH BOY!!!!

**Demenita immediately reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a brown leather mask and sock puppet, puts them on, grabs his chair and jumps down into the boiler room screaming "HAVE A NICE DAY!!!". Meanwhile El Gato and VB are coming to imid the pile of rubble.**
 
E

ElGato

Guest
ElGato enter's the enguarde position with Lenin's body still clutched in his hand. The two duelers fight, neither about to touch the other.

ElGato: Okay, this is getting boring

Gato throws Lenin's corpse away and Bane does the same with Tom Arnold's. They enter a grabble of strength, all the while Dementia acts out the play "West Side Story" with the two bodies

Lenin-"When yer a Jet yer a Jet a tha way..."

Arnold-"I feel pretty, oh so pretty..."

ElGato and Bane give Slinger a standing ovation as the play comes to the heart-wrenching of Lenin dying in Tom Arnold's arms. Bane startes throwing rose, but suddenly hits the ground when he in smacked upside the head by a big Ol' piece a metal.

ElGato picks Bane up, then pulls the champ's head between his legs

Dementia-Eeeeewwwww

As Slinger blows up again, ElGato pulls him up over his head, then flips his body around into a massive Face-Buster, or as it is known is every states (with the exception of Maryland) and most provinces, The Semi-Spontaneous Combuster. ElGato kicks Bane over, then pins him...
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac jumps down for the three count.*


1....2..........

*Ransac picks up Elgato, punches him in the face, spins him around, and delivers the Heart Slam. Ransac then rolls VB over on top of ElGato. Ransac fast counts.*



1..2..3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ransac calls for the bell and raises VB's hand as the winner.*

*ElGato starts to stir and wonders what just happened.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

P.S. VB check you PM's or your e-mail
 
Z

Zero T Katama

Guest
FOUL!

*Zero dispells the CoP: Buttweasel, and the buttweasels run free, seeming attracted to VB*

If this is a stolen gimmick, I'm sorry and deserved to be subpoenaed
 
P

Prince RXI

Guest
*RXI pops out of a portal floating in mid-air*

ZTK, I don't think that was a steal, but you just screwed yourself!

*RXI lights ZTK on fire and throws ice chunks and burning pieces of the remains of the buttweasels at ZTK, Ransac, VB, and The Catman, boy, what ever he is... The Cat. Then jumps back into his portal and is gone, leaving a note falling to the ground*

The note: List for the store
1. Bread
2. Milk
3. Cheese
4. A nuke, fresh today from the bakery





Prince RXI, just some of my christmas shopping:D
 
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