Crapstorm: A New Game: Because... Why Not?

R

rokapoke

Guest
"I'll take that there Knight (or kuh-nigget for you Monty Python fans) to leave the King all but defenseless..."

McGill moves one space southeast.

Edit: Oversoul's move made this one totally unnecessary and, if I'm not mistaken, counterproductive.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
Ward slides north.
The chess king lets out a terrified yelp. Then he shakes back and forth as if to say to his minions: "Run away! Demons, these are! Uncapturable demons! Leave them to their wicked ways." Yes. That's exactly what he said. And all that information was determined solely from the way he moved.
The remaining chess pieces run off the board.
The battle is won!

Day 2
Time: 2:26 pm

Status update
Ward loses one energy from moving.
Ward gains 4 experience from capturing chessmen.
Pikachu gains 3 experience from capturing chessmen.
McGill gains 12 experience from capturing chessmen.
Pete gains 3 experience from capturing chessmen.

When the last chessman clears the field, the king's man slowly makes his way across the field to the other side. He captures the checked zebra and turns to the group (which has reassembled).

"Good work, travelers! The king will be most pleased that you have helped recover another animal. You need only recover his monkey and you can return to the castle to collect your reward. I noticed some random scattered items on the battlefield as I crossed it. You won't be getting them now, though, since I don't have the time nor inclination to sort them out at the moment. Just trust me when I say you've received them."

The king's man then points further north to the flattened mountain. "I suspect that the monkey has traveled north and possibly ascended that mesa. You ought to look there. Good luck!"

At that, the king's man runs off south, back toward the castle.

Day 2
Time: 2:34 pm

Status update
Everyone loses 1 fullness from the passage of time.

Various party members acquire various items from the battle. (TBD)

The party is currently in the Game Preserve (the Chessfield).
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Unless there are any objections, I move that we utilize this now-empty field for a luncheon and rest. Once we are sufficiently rested, we can proceed to the mesa.

If the party does agree to break for a luncheon, Ward will try his zoa pie.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
The party pauses a moment to reminisce on the conversation they had with the king's man just a moment ago...

"Right," said the man. "I searched the captured pieces as they left the battlefield and here is what I found on them. The pawns didn't have much. All I could do was scrape some sludge off of them. The knights and bishops both possessed some nifty hats. The rooks each held a bag of sand and the queen had a funky collar. Enjoy!"

Ward acquires some pawn scum.
Ward acquires a bag of castle sand.
Pikachu acquires some pawn scum.
Pikachu acquires a mitre.
McGill acquires some pawn scum.
McGill acquires a mitre.
McGill acquires a knight cap.
McGill acquires a bag of castle sand.
McGill acquires an Elizabethan collar.
Pete acquires some pawn scum.

Ward cuts a slice of his zoa pie. It's remarkably heavy and made of some sort of unidentifiable meat. He chokes down the slice, which is surprisingly hard work.

Status Update
Ward gains 10 fullness and loses 2 energy from eating a slice of zoa pie.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
The party travels north slowly. Ward's legs are pretty beaten up from the last two battles, so the group makes frequent stops to watch the blood spurt out of his thigh before continuing on. It takes over three hours to reach the base of the mountain to the north. The group looks up the steep incline at the plateau above. The climb looks pretty treacherous.

While they procrastinate ponder the best method of completing their mission, a king's man approaches from the south.

"Greetings, travelers! The king sends his regards and wishes to express his pleasure at your finding of two animals. We have strong reason to believe that the monkey has hidden himself upon that land rising before you. This southern slope is the easiest path to the top and one of our men spotted the monkey climbing up a day ago. We've been monitoring it ever since and have seen no more signs that he's returned this way. As it seems you are pretty tired and beaten up, the king demands that you eat and rest before completing this task. You should eat those bag lunches. I packed them myself and they won't last forever."

The party heeds the advice of the king's man and unpacks their lunches. Inside the bags, they find a ______ and jelly sandwich, a pack of ______-filled sandwich crackers, a baggy of ______ cookies, a fun-size ______ chocolate bar and a piece of fresh fruit. (The blank spaces are filled in as follows: Ward = peanut butter, Pikachu = pokeblock, Melkor's Ghost = spectral cheese, McGill = grass clippings, Pete = paralyzed insect.) Everyone eats their lunches and feels much better to continue on.

When the group is ready to go, the king's man finishes his instructions. "I will remain here to capture the monkey should he try to come down. Be careful up there. I hear things can get pretty dicey."

Day 2
Time: 6:00pm

Status Updates
Everyone loses 17 fullness and 11 energy from traveling.
Everyone gains 40 fullness and 40 energy from their lunches.

The party is currently in the Game Preserve (at the southern face of the Mesa of Craps).
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
McGill attempts to clean up some of his wounds with his handy dual-bidet setup.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
The bidet shoots forth a cool stream of water on McGill's udders. Some pain goes away and McGill feels a lot fresher down there.
 
D

DarthFerret

Guest
pete takes a small bite of his cookie and relaxes on his web of deceit until everyone is ready to move on.
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
Pete looks at the cookie he received from Ward's most recent leadership roll. It's a Girl Scout cookie (a Thin Mint, to be precise), which makes sense because "Girl Scout" is synonymous with "leadership". It's a pretty small cookie, so a small bite is about half the cookie. Taking a bite from the leadership-infused cookie makes Pete anxious to do battle.

Pete then relaxes on his web of deceit. It makes him feel sneakier.

Seemingly ready, the party turns back toward the plateau and begins to climb the slope. It's a pretty easy climb for Pete, who uses his spider legs to stick to the side, but everyone else struggles to get up, especially Ward, whose leg is still in a lot of pain. The group finally manages to reach the top and pauses a moment to catch their breath. Atop the mesa, they view a wide open expanse. Groups of enormous dice scatter the area, roaming about, doing some sort of battle with each other. On the northern side of the area, the escaped monkey can be seen attempting to move the dice he encounters. However, he is completely unable to grip them and usually becomes frustrated and just starts throwing his own feces instead. That seems odd, as a craps-throwing monkey should be able to throw craps on a craps table.

Suddenly, it dawns on the group that something isn't right. Oh no! These aren't craps dice at all. They're Yahtzee dice! Before anyone can think or respond to this post, all the packs of Yahtzee dice turn their attention toward the group. The first pack charges forth and attacks!

Day 2
Time: 6:36pm

You are fighting a pack of Yahtzee dice.

Round 1A
The first die rolls toward Ward, landing on two. It fails to harm him.
The second die rolls toward Melkor's Ghost, landing on six. It fails to harm him.
The third die rolls toward Pikachu, landing on two. It fails to harm him.
The fourth die rolls toward McGill, landing on four. It fails to harm him.
The fifth die rolls toward Pete, landing on two. It fails to harm him.

Status Updates
Pete gains 1 fullness and 1 energy from eating a bit of cookie.
Pete loses 2 energy from the climb.
Ward loses 6 energy from the climb.
Everyone else loses 4 energy from the climb.
Everyone loses 3 fullness from the passage of time.
Ward's leadership roll is a 6! One party member can make two attacks in a round for the duration of this battle.

Safety Numbers
Ward: 6
Melkor's Ghost: 7
Pikachu: 8
McGill: 5
Pete: 10

The party is currently in the Game Preserve (the Mesa of Craps).
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
"Perhaps we must arrange the dice in Yahtzee scoring values -- if we sit on the three 2s and keep rolling the rest until they are also 2s, we'd have a Yahtzee!"

Under his breath, McGill adds, "... but I don't know what that means here."
 

turgy22

Nothing Special
McGill gets a pat on the back for figuring out the game. Pikachu gets whacked with a rolled-up newspaper for trying to zap the king's precious game. For shame! (Don't worry, later quests will be much more straight-forward, as far as combat is concerned.)

Day 2
Time: 6:37pm

You are fighting a pack of Yahtzee dice.

Round 1B
Ward, Pikachu and Pete catch the twos.
A die rolls towards Melkor's Ghost, landing on one. It fails to harm him.
A die rolls toward McGill, landing on two. It fails to harm him.

Status Updates
The party has captured 3 twos.

Safety Numbers
Ward: 6
Melkor's Ghost: 7
Pikachu: 8
McGill: 5
Pete: 10

The party is currently in the Game Preserve (the Mesa of Craps).
 
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