Tournament Rnd. 1-- Maraud vs. Dementia

Discussion in 'Battle Arena' started by Ransac, May 23, 2001.

  1. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Okay, I want a good fight here. Good luck.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  2. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy

    *Maraud runs in*

    Yes, just in time for the fight! I wonder who is fighting? Oh, it's me and Dementia. That should be interesting. Dementia registered the day after I did, just letting everybody in on a little history between us.

    *Maraud jumps into the ring.....*

    Where are we fighting, Ransac? I think we should fight on a tightrope.
  3. Namielus Phrexian Plaguelord

    wait is the this the right room?
    [me]sees maraud234 balancing on a tight rope[/me]
    nope... the search continues...
  4. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac

    It's redecorated! I like the way they changed the death pits, but I wish they would have left the severed heads stuck on stakes:( Those just made the place look quaint, and homey:)

    (Dementia sighs)

    Get off the damn tight rope before ya kill your damn self Maybe Mable!!!

    Note: thanks for the name Maybe Mable:)

    (Dementia sets one of those firemen air bag thingys under Maybe Mable since he will almost surely fall:()

    *yells up to Maybe Mable* I'M JUST GONNA HAVE A SEAT AND WAIT FOR YOU!

    (Dementia unfolds his trusty and comfy steel fighting tool of death and has a seat)

    I should add padding so the chair would be more comfy, but then it wouldn't hurt people as much. Hum, I wonder if there's some way to improve on the coziness with out decreasing the deadliness?

    (Dementia sadly forgets all about the fight and is caught up in thinking about the chair)

    The sad result of too many chairshots to the temple:(
  5. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy

    *Maraud yells down at Dementia*

    You're welcome for the idea of Maybe Mable. I guess I'm going to have to jump down on the air mattress.

    Hm.... Maraud thinks about how he is going to take Dementia, then Maraud realizes that he is wearing one of Dementia's shirts, so if Dementia bleeds on the shirt, Dementia wins. Maraud then decides that if Maraud prevents
    Dementia from bleeding on him, he will win.

    Wait! Did I say that outloud!
  6. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac

    Maybe Mable?!?! What the fu..... oooohhhhhh, now I remember.

    That seems like a pretty crappy rule Mable. Mainly because you seemed to have pulled it out of your behind:p

    (Dementia stands up and folds up his chair)

    I am about ready to administer the most gruesome beating I have even done!!!

    (Dementia thawacks himself on the head. Dementia stumbles backwards and feels his forehead)

    Darn! Not Bleeding yet!

    (Dementia smacks himself 14 more times)

    AHHHH, now it's flowing:)

    Now just try not to get bloody! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  7. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy


    Maraud runs around being chased by Dementia. What is Maraud to do? Maybe if Maraud takes off his shirt, Dementia won't be able to bleed on the shirt when it is on Maraud.. so Dementia won't be able to win that way.

    Wait... did I say that outloud again?

    *Maraud throws off his shirt....(but puts on another one that says "don't arrest this person")

    Maybe Ma..Maraud says arghh, dude.
  8. Darsh Corrupt CPA Member

    ...Go Dementia! Show him why you're in the Delinquent ManiacS!
  9. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac

    (Dementia watchs as Maybe Mable throws away his shirt)

    And for one brief instance is horrified by the thought that Maybe Mable is stripping:eek:

    (Dementia takes a quick look at the shirt and is tempted to wipe his face off with it right now and have done with it, but then decides to go after the more lively, and annoying Maybe Mable)

    You have to understand that Maybe Mable and Dementia aren't the brightest lights on the cristmas tree. So up till now the 2 morons have been running in a small circle......

    (Dementia stops and hunches over in exaustion putting his hands on his knees, still holding the chair of course)

    Man, I really gotta get out and run more.....I'm getting winded and I ain't even really runnin.......

    (Dementia relizes that the fool Maybe Mable has continued to run in the same circle and is headed strait for him:eek: Right as Maybe Mable gets withing chairshot range Dementia swings the chair in a mighty swing strait at Maybe Mables Mouth...........

    Ta heck with that! I'll show him why I'm the Chair Wielding Ambassador of the Delinquent ManiacS:D
  10. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy

    *Maybe Mable ducks, Dementia's chair hits one of the penguins that lives inside of Maybe Later's head.... which means Dementia hit Maybe Okay in the head.*


    *The force of the impact makes Maybe Maraud do a backflip onto a...trampoline, which sends him flying way high into the sky. At about 50 feet into the air, Maraud hits the tightrope that he was balancing on before. Maybe Mable is now hanging by his neck on a tightrope 50 feet in the air.*

    Nice shot, Dementia, but it is obvious that you have no idear who you are messing with.

    *Maybe Mable throws some poop at Dementia.*

    Yeah, I know it's pretty disgusting. But, it's hard to do anything else when you're hanging from a tightrope like I am.
  11. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac

    I apoligize for the crappy pun;)

    The chair shot to the head must have messed up Maybe Mables aim because the poop comes nowhere close to hitting Dementia.

    (The poop splatters on Daggertooth at a high volocity who is sitting over in a corner queitly watching the fight)

    That's right Snagglertooth! I know your there:D.

    Now what to do about Maybe Mable high in the sky.....

    (Dementia runs and jumps on the trampoline and flies through the air and hits Maybe Mable like a freakin pinata with the chair)


    (Dementia screams as he falls back to earth, but luckyly lands on the air bag thingy as he has ingeniously planned)

    That was fun! Lets go again! I wanna do it again!:D:D:D

    (Dementia starts into a dead run to bounce off the trampoline and smiles as Maybe Mable lets out a girlish scream at the impending thwack...........)

    Better do something quick Mable cause I'm gonna keep hitting you till candy comes out.....
  12. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy

    I like candy... but not when it comes from me.

    *Mid-Way through Dementia's attack, Maybe Mable frees himself from the tightrope, only to fall on the trampoline. Maraud is then launched into the air again, but this time lands on the airbag, just as Dementia planned. A bomb planted inside the airbag sends Maraud flying strait at!!!!!! that's not Dementia that's a elephant's arse!*

    Oh, sh*t, literally.

    *Maraud then opens up a portal into a non-existent universe, thereby switching places with Dementia. As Maraud watches Dementia fly towards an elephant's butt, he realizes that he is 50 feet in the air, and falling, and the airbag has been blown up.*

    Narrator- "What will our hero do?
  13. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac

    But before Dementia reaches the Elephants a** gravity takes hold and he begins to fall back down......

    We'll all just take a time out and resent me for having such good luck
    Ok, that's enough:)

    (As Dementia is falling he catches up to the also falling Maybe Mable and gives him a BIIIIIIIIG hug......)

    Wait that's not a hug!:eek: Dementia is moving Maybe Mable under him to use him to break his fall......

    Note: (Dementia throws his chair exactly where Maybe Mable is about to land as to maximize the pain Maybe Mable is going to feel:D)
  14. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy

    Yes!!!! This is going to be awesome!

    *Maraud and Dementia fall onto the chair, Dementia hurts his butt, while Maraud explodes, sending body parts all over the ring.*

    My head- "hey body where'd ya go?"

    *Maraud's body parts all attack Dementia, which is really amusing. One of my legs kicks Dementia in the rear end, while my right hand slaps him, and my liver makes Dementia eat it.*

    P.S. To Dementia
    I don't know if you like liver or not, I'm asuming you don't.
  15. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac

    Normally I hate liver, but this one was bloody and raw so it was pretty good.

    (Dementia wipes blood away from his mouth)

    Any more?

    (Dementia runs around the ring while holding his sore butt in one hand and his steel chair in the other and thwacking and eating Maybe Mables assorted body parts)

    There goes the fingers:) Taste like chicken......

    (Dementia punts Maybe Maybe's head 54 yards down the field for the extra point)

  16. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy


    Don't worry Dementia, with a little glue and ducktape I'll be good as new, and then we can really fight.

    *Maraud ducktapes his head back on his body, then glues his assorted body parts back on. For the fingers that he is missing, Maraud replaces them with chicken tenders.*

    Kind'a reminds me of Idle Hands, man that movie was cool.

    Maraud lights up a J, and smokes it. Maraud then declares a quick break. Dementia sits down in his chair, Maraud sits on the floor, and they both eat Maraud's fingers.*

    Want some ketchup.

    Dementia "sure"

    *Maraud challenges Dementia to a game of Thumb Wrestling.*

    I challenge you to a game of thumb wrestling

    *Dementia accepts*

    Demntia-"I accept your challenge"

    *Dementia who is standing 40 yards away, looks at Maraud and wonders, "who is he talking to? Dementia then watches as Maraud thumb wrestles himself.... and loses.*
  17. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac

    After that last post I think we can all agree that Maybe Mables nickname should be changed to Unstable Mable. Cause you one big nut:confused:

    So, after watching Unstable Mable eat his own fingers THEN beat up his thumbs Dementia decides to let Unstable Mable take care of Unstable Mable(since he's doing such a good job of it already:))......

    (Dementia yells over to Unstable Mable who is still 40 yards away)

    "Unstable Mable said that Unstable Mable was gonna kick Dementia's a**. I know how much you like Dementia Unstable Mable so I know you'd want to kick the crap out of Unstable Mable for talking smack about Dementia"

    So, what are you waiting for Unstable Mable? Get em!

    (Dementia smiles fiendishly and takes a seat in his trusty steel chair)
  18. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy

    What do you think we are, Dementia, stupid?

    C'mon, myself, we'll show him.

    *Maraud splits into his two personalities, pirate, and surfer. The pirate wields a sword, while the surfer wields a surfboard.*

    Surfer-"c'mon pirate dude, let's go get that Dementia guy."

    Pirate-"Argh, don't you tell me what to do matey."

    Surfer-"Why don't you shut your stupid trap, *sshole."

    Pirate-"Bring it"

    *Dementia, believing that Maraud is tied up with fighting himself, decides to go get a snack from the consession stand. When he gets back, the two Maraud's are nowhere to be seen.*

    Then, we jump out of nowhere and hit Dementia in the head, making him spill his nachos and drink in his lap. Ha, Ha.
  19. Dementia CPA's Chair Wielding Maniac


    You have made 2 fatal mistakes my Unstable enemy. For one you burned my crotch with the scalding hot nachos:eek:

    (Dementia runs around comically punching at his crotch in a futile attept to stop the pain:()

    And the second mistake was making me spill my one makes me spill my Coke!!:mad:!!

    (Dementia thwacks the Surfing Mable over the head with the Steel chair, killing his sorry tan a** immediatly)

    Ok ya peg-legged pansy.......your gonna pay for that mistake with your rotten miserable excuse for a life.

    Or ya gonna buy me another Coke!

    What's it gonna be......

    Jeez Unstable sure do answer these fast:p
  20. maraud234 Sir Psycho Sexy

    That's because I'm on summer vacation right now, so I'll really don't have much to do, but when I go over to California, you probably won't hear much from me anymore. Ok, back to the fight.

    I'm sorry for spilling your coke, I'll buy you another one.

    *buys Dementia a coke.*


    Now to pull myself back together.

    *Maraud's two personalities merge back together, but since one is dead, Maraud is really lathargic now.*

    For those of you that have a limited vocabulary, lathargic means slow and stupid. Alot like a pot-head.

    I'm out of things to do, man. I'm going to lay down and go to sleep, ok.

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