The third CPA story!

[Jigglypuff]

Here we go!

Once upon a time, there was a cow and a monkey and they liked to hang out in bars. One day, they were sitting in a bar watching hockey and then a mysterious figure walked through the door. It was none other than...

(- Steve -)

 

[Razormouse]

Razormouse, Legendary Corrupter of the Mind. Knowing of his evil intentions and his dislike of Hockey, and anything else Canadian. They quickly switched the channel to a very Amercian sport, baseball. Razormouse approached the two, an evil grin, a smirk you might say formed accross his face. "Hi monkey, Hi cow" I have some work for you two. Will you not help me? He said.....

 

[Nightstalkers]

"Good Mouse razor bottoms!" Shouted Cow
"Killer Comequat salad dressing!" Bellowed Monkey

At that note I would like to inform our viewers that the following has been taken out of the script due to extreme rage sindrome. Enjoy!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Elephant________________Jerky!____________________________Flatulense___________________________________________________________________________________________.

 

[Ransac]

All of the sudden, a flush was heard from the nearby privy. And, stepping out of the lou..........was Gary Coleman.




Don't like hockey? Whatchu talkin' 'bout Razormouse?



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Jigglypuff]

Unfortunately for the little annoying guy, the Infernal Spawn of Evil jumped out from behind a the bar and utterly destroyed Gary Coleman for being loud and obnoxious and Razormouse for not liking hockey. He then grabbed their broken bodies and tossed them into his hot chocolate. He fished the keys out of the Razormouse's pocket and drove off in his new Mercedes.

(- Steve -)

 

[train]

He pulled up to a Beverly hills mansion and coming out of the house and jumping into the mercedes was Christie Brinkley...

They drove off to...

 

[Jigglypuff]

Vancouver! They arrived at General Motors Place to watch the Canucks take on the Detroit Red Wings. Before they could get across the border, they were distracted by a large explosion. They looked towards the direction of the large explosion and were stunned to see..

(- Steve -)

 

[train]

A cow with it's butt on fire!!!

People were running and screaming trying to escape the wrath of the fiery rump!...

 

[Jigglypuff]

The flaming cow quickly spread it's lethal flames all over the field. The Mercedes caught fire and Christie Brinkley died a horrible fiery death. But the I.S.E. managed to escape the burning car and jumped into a portal, leading to...

(- Steve -)

 

[Ransac]

*.....THE REALM OF THE SPHINCTER OF DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*





Just had to do that.



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Jigglypuff]

Unfortunately, the Realm of the Sphincter of Doom was way too small to serve as anything other than a small diversion on the way to Phyrexia.

When the I.S.E. arrived in Phyrexia, he was greeted by a squadron of Walkers. Though they looked tough, they had no offensive capability. The I.S.E. passed by them with ease. After the Walkers, he met up with Urza!

"What are you doing here, you old bag?" the mouse asked Urza.

"Be quiet, stupid mouse! Do you want the flying purple monkeys to hear you?", Urza said.

Just then, the flying purple monkeys appeared! They were wielding lethal missile launchers and had full reinforced body armor. They were machines of war! Urza and the I.S.E. dove behind a rock. As luck would have it, they found two laser pistols underneath some dust. They grabbed them and prepared to fight back.

(- Steve -)

 

[train]

They looked around the rock to see ...

William Shatner offering his help with a taser?...

 

[Ransac]

*But, unfortunately, a meteor crushes him to death. You see, they mixed up the laundry at Star Fleet and Captain Kirk accidentally put on a *gasp* RED SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Jigglypuff]

Urza and our cute little mouse friend ran away from the meteor crash site. Suddenly, more meteors began to fall from the sky. They crashed all around our intrepid heroes. They just kept running and running, not paying any attention to where they were going. Urza saw a cave to his left and pulled the little mouse into it. They were safe, for now...

(- Steve -)

 

[train]

As they sat in the cave... glowing lights from the battle and storm outside lit the walls just enough for them to see something on the walls...

It was a form of heiroglyphics... of men... and animals... being very intimate...

The 2 looked at each other and scooted a few feet from one another when...

 

[Jigglypuff]

...Ertai rushed in!

"The world desperately needs your help!" the cocky young wizard exclaimed.

"I'm on top of it!" Urza shouted, grabbing his mangled old staff.

"Not you, you old fart." Ertai said, shaking his head. "The cute mouse guy."

The I.S.E. grabbed his cocoa and followed Ertai from the cave, leaving Urza behind.

(- Steve -)

 

[Nightstalkers]

Urza on the otherhand desides to help by building a creature of immense proportions... which goes horably wrong.

Just as Urza finishes his weapon Nightstalkers come in and steal it while his back is turned.

*Nightstalkers steals secret weapon and take it to the battle forum.*

 

[Jigglypuff]

Unfortunately for Nightstalkers, the weapon was equipped with a secret homing device that was activated as soon as he stole it from Urza. When Nightstalkers arrived at the Battle Forum, he was greeted by tens of thousands of beebles! They immediately jumped on him and the sheer weight knocked him to the ground. He dropped the weapon and it went skittering off. He tried to grab it, but it was just out of his reach. He tried to get up, but the sheer weight of the beebles were crushing him. Just when he thought all was hopeless...

(- Steve -)

 

[Nightstalkers]

The Beebles suddenly explode into a brilliant flash of fire and light! left behind by the sudden explosion is only the charred remains of thousands of beebles and a shard of black ice that seemingly doesn't melt

 

[Bob]

Then Colonel Sanders ran in and shouted, "HEY! WANT SOME CHICKEN?"