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The Superfluous Demi-Spasm Fight for the lone roll of toilet paper

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
IT'S MINE!!!!!!!!


*Ransac prepares to defend the toilet paper roll with his lead rabbit.*



Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Steps toward Ransac, then begins to act crazed and reveals a can of pepper spray.

Ransac, either the toilet paper gets it or you do. Hand it over...
 
F

Ferret

Guest
Isn't it amazing how only five lines of text between both of your posts can take up so much space?

-Ferret

"less is more"
 
N

Nightstalkers

Guest
Say hello to my little friends!!!

*shoots everyone with his toilet paper machine gun*
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac breaks his steadiness and attacks head-on, swinging his lead rabbit violently at Oversoul*


I NEED THAT TOILET PAPER BAD!!!!!!!!!!!



Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Toilet paper machine gun? What could be more ridiculous? Oh...

Oversoul retreats and quickly returns with his latest invention...

The toilet paper machine gun gun! It fires toilet paper machine guns in rapid intervals!
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac realizes that the item he seeks so desperately also contains his one greatest fear: Paper.*


NO!!!!!! MUST DISARM TOILET PAPER MACHINE GUN!!!!!!


*Ransac launches a beanie baby in the direction of Oversoul, which we all know is his one weakness.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Oversoul laughs evilly.

Ha, Ransac, you fool. You have gotten your villains mixed up, for my weakness is not beanie babies at all but teletubbies.

Now face the wrath of the...

Oversoul's head is caught in a blow from Ransac's rabbit and he doubles over grasping his skull and cursing.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac preens over his success in clobbering Oversoul with the lead rabbit, but curses himself after he trips over the useless beanie baby. Ransac pulls out a cell phone and orders for helicopters to bomb the area with teletubbie dolls, but it will take a while for the order to be process.*

Damn regulations.

*While waiting, Ransac prepares to snap his fingers, causing untold damage to his opponent, when suddenly, Oversoul...*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
...shoots Ransac's hand--with the pepper spray.

Agh! I forgot that this stuff doesn't put holes in things. Oh well...

Hey, Ransac, you've got something in your eye there...
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac lifts his hand to his eye to check on what Oversoul said. Unfortunately, the pepper rubbed into his eye in the process, making Ransac screaming out random letters of the alphabet. Ransac does manage to snap his fingers during all this and Oversoul is now wearing black clothing that is 18 sizes too small.*



Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Oversoul tries to ignore the fact that he is clad in ridiculously small clothing, but it chafes him too much and he rips it off angrily. He searches for new clothing but finds only a toga and the garments normally associated with the "flappers" of the 1920's. He grabs the toga...

Well, it would be a perfect fit, but this thing is SO DEFINITELY NOT MY COLOR! Where did they come up with this? It's like a saffron...

More like a neon saffron. I am NOT wearing that...

Oversoul puts on the flapper clothes and charges after Ransac with a roll of toilet paper in hand.
 
M

mythosx

Guest
Originally posted by Ransac
*Ransac breaks his steadiness and attacks head-on, swinging his lead rabbit violently at Oversoul*


I NEED THAT TOILET PAPER BAD!!!!!!!!!!!



Ransac, cpa trash man
Is that a lead rabbit or lead rabbit? I mean is that your number 1 rabbit or a rabbit that you could use to protect your genitals from the prying xray vision of superman?
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
mythosx: It's a lead statuette of a rabbit used for bludgeoning.


*Ransac sees Oversoul charging at him furiously. Ransac is at a loss for words. The finger snapping has always incapacitated his opponents (due to the pain from tightness in the left ball-sack area) long enough for Ransac to do something. But now, Ransac has to think cunningly. He must be smart. He must....*

Ooo! A penny!

*Ransac bends down to pick up the penny just as Oversoul lunged at him, causing Oversoul to fly head first into a wall. Ransac gleefully stands up with the penny and sees a hole in the wall, then realizes what happened.*


Oops! heh-heh-heh!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Oversoul struggles to his feet and grimaces. He glares at Ransac malevotently.

You'll pay for that. Hey wait a minute. Who am I kidding? I have the roll of toilet paper! I'm winning...
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
...but suddenly hatches an ingenious plot to rip it away from him. Ransac poops his pants.*


ha-HA!!!!!!!!!!


*Ransac then pounces on top of the woozy Oversoul, forces him to the ground, and sits directly on his head.*


The smell will go ahead if you hand me the roll!!!!!!



Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Oversoul coughs for several seconds, struggling to push Ransac away, but is unable to.

The smell will go ahead? What? I don't...

He goes limp.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
*Ransac reads the typo from his previous post and berates himself. That is, until he notices that Oversoul is unconscious. Ransac grabs the toilet paper roll and excuses himself to the restroom.*

*two-and-a-half minutes pass*

*Ransac emerges with a victorious smile and parades around, not realizing that Oversoul is slowly coming to.*


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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