The Rooser's 500-post party!

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Rooser

Guest
Keeping with my long-standing tradition of faux-arrogance, I thought it would be a nice joke if I threw myself a party for reaching 500 posts. Of course as of writing this, I'm a few posts off, but no reason I can't celemabrate a little early, no?

We can just kick back and relax by the pool as I complete my unstoppable march into the annals of history. A few more self-congratualatory witticisms and I'm there!

I appreciate anybody who shows up. If you brought presents, we'll open them after I reach the 500-post mark.

So what do we have here? We've got crab puffs, deviled eggs, a big punch bowl, spike with coconut rum and featuring little pineapple floaties, those new Guacamole Doritos, and a big "500" cake with the candles that are shaped like numbers.

Over here we got a crappy acoustic guitar for anybody with long hair.

Over here we have Rodney Dangerfield playing tunes on his golfbag radio.

Over here we have Woody Harrelson dueling with members of the SCA. His armor's made entirely of hemp!

Over here is the quiet young hippie couple who will likely be having sex in the bathroom later.

Over here, this lobster-robot-looking thing is Lobstermite a.k.a the Homarid Safeguard. He will protect us from anybody who doesn't have a sense of humor and takes this post too seriously.

Over here we have the time-machine, abound with humorous possibilities.

Over here is Rodney Dangerfield with his golfbag radio. Oh, I did that one already.

Over here is my liquor cabinet, complete with wacky drinks that don't even exist, like Marmalade Moon juice, Mushroom Plaza Swirl and Psycho Kitten Death Cloud.

Over here is a potato in a jar. It's left over from my 3rd Grade science experiment.

And lastly, I got the slip-n-slide.

Enjoy yourself!
 
M

Mikeymike

Guest
* Little does Rooser know that I have arrived early to "spike the slip-n-slide", so to speak. It has been coated with an experimental (read: chemically unstable) lubricant formed of bacon grease, Soul-Glo of "Coming to America" fame, Mercury, and OJ Simpson's sweat (for its uncanny ability to 'slip' the feds).

Fun & laughs will be had by all when Rooser takes the first plunge and proceeds to break the sound barrier...landing somewhere in the Northern Mexican desert.

I also brought Ambrosia. Yum!

And I'll be posting your present after you reach the magical 500.
 
R

Rooser

Guest
*The time machine activates and Rooser-of-the-future arrives, covered in random goop and cholla cactus. He warns Present-day Rooser of the spiked slin-n-slide, but its too late...*

So, Hum-de-hum, I think I'll use the slip-n-slide.

*Present-day Rooser jumps down the slide and BOOM! off he goes, smashing through the brick wall of the back yard. After the dust settles, a bunch of go-go girls pour through the break in the wall and start dancing with Rodney Dangerfield.*
 
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orgg

Guest
*theorgg walks in carrying a five by five speaker, puts it down, and sets a small box with a button on top. He begins pushing the button rythmically four times a second, releasing several 20-35Hz, 112dB pulses.

I got the backbeat... Now we need some more instrumentation.
 
N

Nightstalkers

Guest
Okay, but I'll only do something because its ladies night at the Bloody Kiss.

*The shadows shimmer as the evil figure of Habuki appears and hops around the room looking at everything. After a cursory glance at Rooser he pulls out his guitar and lays out a couple notes of pure angelic bliss*

LETS LIGHT THIS OINK UP!

*Shadows gather on the ceiling and astral specs start to float down as Habuki plays his R0XXIN guitar solo*

Face down in the gutter won't admit defeat though his clothes are soiled and black. He's a big strong man....
 
E

EricBess

Guest
Rooster, this is a great idea for you. Congrats on post 500. BTW, train is the one that typically tracks this sort of thing for people, so once you hit 500, stay out of the tracking threads until train has had a chance to congradulate you. (of course, that means if he doesn't want to deal with you anymore... :D)
 
C

Chaos Turtle

Guest
*looks around for something low-carb...

Got any water? Or dry booze maybe?

*starts grooving to Orgg's beat.

I know what this party needs!

*finds the nearest light switch and starts flipping it off and on as quickly as possible. (The seizure-prone might wish to go in another room.)
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
Spiderman runs in with an automatic club flicker so Chaos Turtle could rest his fingers.

* Actually, train is in Maryland right now and doesn't have access to a computer so he'll probably miss the event when it happens (unless Rooser doesn't post the rest of the week)
 
R

Rooser

Guest
*Rooser-of-the-future picks bits of cholla cactus out of his shirt*

Wow that was some fun! Thank goodness the Mexican Sonora is only a 40-minute drive from Tucson!;)

*Pulls out remote control and presses button. Balloons fall from the ceiling.*

Anyway, my question for Habuki is why are there only two Nightstalkers? Why can't there be four? Nightstalkers Chadwick? Nightstalkers Jimmy?
 
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Mikeymike

Guest
My gift to you, this stunning velvet portrait of Elvis, lovingly referred to as "Velvis".

EDIT - Cool, check out my own post tally (2222)
 
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Rooser

Guest
Thank you, good sir!

*Takes Velvis and puts it next to his Veatles and his Vimi Hendrix.*

Two more and I got a full set!
 
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Chaos Turtle

Guest
*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*

Congratulations!
Here! Have a TIE Fighter!
 
R

Rooser

Guest
Wow! Now I can stop trying to make that awesome noise with my vocal chords whenever I drive my car!

And where is Mr. Roney? I built the time machine just for him! I thought we might all have some fun drafting boxes of Beta!

PS: Oh, and sorry if it was a bit uncouth of me to just zip on past 500, but what can I say? I like posting here!
 
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Notepad

Guest
*Sefro pops in, drops off the cake and punch, then goes to the electrical socket with a fork in hand*

~~~///~~~ZzzZZZZaaaAAAAaAaaaPPPppP~~~\\\~~~

*Junkyard and Mad Dog come in with plenty of college gals and beer*
 
T

train

Guest
Ladies and Magic Players, current and former - though a bit late - (only 11 posts at this time)... - It's time to congratulate Rooser on his 500th post!!!...

*Next to the slip and slide appears a giant twister mat - with the words Co-Ed and naked in the center of it...
-Brass poles slam down from the sky, and Elvish Ranger clones begin dancing around them... (get your leaves ready guys - and no - the dancers don't give change for their tips)...
-A giant Serra Avatar picks Rooser up and gives him a big sloppy wet kiss - right on the forehead... then goes over and sits on the roof of the house to enjoy the festivities...
-Gnomes appear from under the slip'n'slide and begin bringing festive looking food to all the tables in the yard... (there's a distinct look in their eyes - like they spiked the food with something us humans are not immune to...
-A giant air fortress and bouncing gym appears on the far side of the yard - crushing the neighbor's fence and the dog that would never stop barking...
-A group of 12 quirion rangers begin bouncing up and down on the fort...
-The trees in the yard suddenly come alive and grow to 5 times their normal size, dropping vines for party-goers to swing on... and drooling sap as they stare at the Avatar...
-train then appears Floating down from the sky on a cloud elemental(he finally mastered blue magic - without using blue mana)... and is set on the ground next to his elvish ranger digital girlfriend...*

"This is all for you Rooser - Congratulations - enjoy!"

*Gnomes begin running around pulling pants down on everyone... and the fun begins...*
 
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Chaos Turtle

Guest
*gets naked and spins the Twister spinner*

Put my left what? Where?

*goes for the bouncing gym*

(*seems to have overlooked something...*)
 
N

Notepad

Guest
*Junkyard takes out a paintball gun and practices on the unarmmed Gnomes*

*Mad Dog follows Junkyard's lead, except he pulls out two submachineguns.*

HUNTING SEASON!!!
 
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orgg

Guest
*Every third 'BOOOOOOOM' from the speaker, theorgg begins kicking a gnome in the head, making a rattling metallic sound.
 
R

Rooser

Guest
*Rodney Dangerfield turns up his golf bag radio and begins dueling with the orgg's phat beats*

*The SCA people take off their helmets and foolishly try to talk up the Elvish Rangers*

Me, personally, I can't resist the draw of the bouncy air fortress!

*And so off I go!*
 
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