Warning: May not be appropriate for everyone. Sorry if you're offended, it's just a joke.
Joe the Punk comes out of the punk rock show, drunk and stoned out of his mind, and decides to pass out right there on the street, in the dumpster. He wakes up, flies circling around his head, and after smoking up again, decides to take a dump. While doing that and looking for something to read, he finds a newspaper with this ad in there:
"New Punk club opening on Main street very soon, only the most elite and true punks can come! To prove that you're a real punk, write us a letter explaining why."
Joe decides that it's definitely for him, and writes the following letter:
"Hi, my name is Joe and I'm a REAL, TRUE punk. I only listen to NoFX, Sex Pistols, and other tr00 bands. I smoke weed and drink every day, I never shave or wash my clothes,I never had a job, I dropped out of school after 5th grade and I smell really bad. I don't give a crap about anything in this life, and your club in particular. In fact, I'm taking a dump right now and I'm about to wipe my ass with this letter."
So he does that, puts the letter in the envelope and sends it to the club. A week later, he gets the reply:
"Dear Joe, sorry but we can't let you in our club because you're not a REAL, TRUE punk. Real punks don't wipe their ass."