Hey Jackal!

Discussion in 'Battle Arena' started by Ura, Apr 10, 2000.

  1. Chaos Turtle Demiurgic CPA Member, Admin Assistant

    While I do appreciate your gratitude, veiled in the pretense of condescention, it remains that I feel no more need to "triumph" over you than I do to "triumph" over ants with a magnifying glass.

    It's simple enough (and you do seem to have a deadlock on the simple) to see that you are so grossly overwhelmed by my intellectual superiority that your leptonoid brain is sizzling and crackling with a level of stimulation which until now has been manifest only by your compulsive autosexual activity.

    Congratulations. I'm so impressed by your progress with the language that I'm willing to nominate you for the Ozark Writin' Skolership which is available only to inbreds and mongoloids of particulary linear pedigree. Your parents must be very proud.

    Speaking of parents, how is your father/grandpa these days? Hopefully he's recovering well from his impromptu castration brought on when you "accidentally" kicked your mother/sister in the jaw. Got a little penis envy, maybe? Don't feel bad, my friend, at least it's bigger than a gorilla's, which unfortunately cannot be said for you mind.

    I'm looking forward to your reply. Don't forget to wash the maturbatory aid from your hands (may as well shave your palms while you're at it, too) or you may worsen the sticky keyboard problems caused by your spontaneaously erupting facial boils.

    Until next time, "big guy."
  2. Spaceman Spiff New Member

    hehe, fun, fun... oh, ya

    *gets the kobold out of his head*
    there, now i can think.. :p
  3. Istanbul Sucker MCs call me sire.

    Okay. Let's systematically disassemble this feeble and belated attempt at a counterattack. (How long did that take? One week? Longer?)

    Suuuuure you don't need to triumph over me. Sure you're superior. That's why you went to the trouble to reply to an older post, and to do so in order to defend yourself against a flame that decimated you.

    You're a sad, sad man, Chaoslace. Why would I be overwhelmed by an opponent to which I am superior in every facet? Sure, you may have a slight (and I do emphasize SLIGHT) advantage in obscure vocabulary, but clearly, you have no more idea how to put together an effective flame than Elton John has of how to make love to a woman. (You know. Woman. Those other people that aren't male. You should try them sometime, if one lets you get close enough.)

    Writing scholarship? What a coincidence. I happen to already write for a popular Magic site, and have articles published very frequently. I've won contests with my writing skills, and intend to take it as a career path. So pardon me if I shun your hometown's scholarship; use the money, instead, to buy human organs. If you're lucky, you may score a brain, and you can get a replacement for the severely malfunctioning heap of festering monkey turds you keep inside your head.

    I DO find it laughable that you've resorted to attacking my father and mother. Let it be known to you that I have no sister, and my mother lives in an entirely different country from my father...boy, your pathetic little insult sure falls apart in a hurry, doesn't it? Damn it, boy, get that dick out of your mouth and listen! I don't care if you DO want to know where the cream filling is!

    As for looking forward to my reply...I'm glad I can give you SOMETHING to look forward to. After all, when I picture the pathetic, wretched example of humanity (?) that must be posting such tripe, I can't imagine that you have anything else in your life to look forward to. A decent job? Any job where your name is sewn onto your shirt isn't a decent job. Your education? A girlfriend? Both laughable prospects; if you had an education, you would be far more coherent than you are now, and if you had a girlfriend, you wouldn't have to spend your free time trolling the city pound for free puppies to rub up against. Friends? I can only imagine the drooling, mentally incapable cretins that would actually consider you a friend.

    Please, get a life...then kill it.
  4. Ophidian New Member

    I realize that I practically blew off your <chuckle> insult in my last post. Gee, it must be hard spending all of your free time coming up with all of those <snicker> harsh words that you <chuckle> viciously lobbed in my general direction. I can see why you would feel the need to accomplish such a <laugh> monumental task as calling me 'lame', 'inadequate', and so on and so forth. Allow me to retort.

    Your pathetic lump of wurm sh|t that you so desperately pass off as a brain is, like always, completely and utterly incapable of rational thought. I find it impossible to even begin to read your pithy post without laughing my a$$ off or contemplating the merits of natural selection. You, my friend, are the one who was beating off in the bathroom when God was passing out brains, ingenuity, and on and on. Your witless humor (a paradox if I ever heard one) easily wears thin after a few lines of nothing. But I do admire your persistence, Isty. I have never seen anyone stack sh|t so high before.

    Oh, great job on dissecting my last post. It confirms my belief that you wasted your two best one-liners in your first post. If only you could muster something that vaguely resembles a group of words that some of us like to call a "comeback", then I might be scared. Comeback! there's another word to add to your <laugh> expansive vocabulary. Really now, do you expect to induce fear by repeating what others say to you? Come now, I see no reason that someone with the <chuckle> intellectual prowess that you have been brandishing without the common sense to actually let some of it wind up in your posts. Do I have to sift through six paragraphs in order to figure out what the insult is? I remember a quote:

    "Your attack has been rendered harmless. It is, however, quite pretty"

    And I know you will attack me for using this quote, but why waste a paragraph when I can sum it up in two sentences? Or I could have overlooked something when you will graciously dissect this post in order to let me know my grammatical errors.


    Well, I am gettting quite tired of engaging in <laugh> intellectual thought with you, so I will now be as childish as you want me to be, so you can further dissect my 'lame' remarks. You spineless, witless, brainless pile of dead fish that floats on the ocean of life, defiling everything that comes into contact with you. If I saw you on the street, I wouldn't know wherter to laugh at you or call the local zoo to report the escaped orangutan. Is that why you said your mother is from a different country? Must be the zoo of London. But really, why should I take all this time to bash such a mindless poster? Because I can. I enjoy systematically removing the parasites of society in order to put them on public display for ridicule. I enjoy watching the egos of the pompous shrivel into oblivion. I enjoy watching a grown man cry.

    Well, since I have more important things to do, I will postpone my crusade for the betterment of society by not beating you into the ground.

    Yet.
  5. Multani Treetrunk Guy

    Well said Ophidian, well said.

    "To make peace with the forest, make peace with me."
    -Multani to Urza
  6. The Magic Jackal Veteran CPA Member&lt;BR&gt;&lt;font co

    Y don't you guys stop your bickering? We have better thing to do than fight. If you do want to prove who's better, sign up for the tag game.
  7. Ophidian New Member

    Hey Jackal, just trying to find a vent for all of my stress <sniff>. Besides, if we cannot fight, then what else is there?

    "We surely cannot play magic..." :D
  8. Multani Treetrunk Guy

    Sorry Jackal. Istanbul, Chaos, and I are all ready signed up and eagerly waiting for the game to start.

    "To make peace with the forest, make peace with me."
    -Multani to Urza
  9. Ophidian New Member

    I hope I didn't shed any bad blood here....

    [me]looks around[/me]

    Can somebody hand me a mop?
  10. The Magic Jackal Veteran CPA Member&lt;BR&gt;&lt;font co

    TAG GUARD

    [me]summons a rhox[/me]

    Dinner time! kill #5 for me!

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