CPW Tournament Round 1: Volrath's Bane vs. ElGato

[Volraths_bane]

**Bane gets to his feet, sees Gato getting up hold ing the banana peel..and has an idea. HE runs over to one of the gates, and uses all his might to lift it, and out come...not man eating lions but......dozens of really pissed off Lemurs!!! They run out and attack Gato due to his banana spell...and also attack Ransac**

Errr....uh oh......Oh well...time to go Olympic!!!!

**VB starts spinning, holding the Morningstar out. As VB spins he releases the Morningstar is perfect Hammer Throw form and it flies right at the Lemur covered Gato's head.**

 

[ElGato]

ElGato throws out his arms and claps them, causing all of the Lemurs to explode, except for one which he stuffes into his pocket for a souvineer.

The whips out his chain, knocking the mace out of the sky, then ounces on Ransac.

ElGato-This is for screwing with my title shot!

After giving Ransac an extremely silly haircut with his dagger, ElGato begins to spin around wit his chain, causing a medium sized tornadoe that heads straight for Bane...

 

[Ransac]

Ow, what th....HEY MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ransac then realizes that after the last hair cut his barber gave him, his hair actually looks better.


<thinking> that bum-weasel probably wants a tip, too. Well, I'll show him.


*Ransac throws a can of moldy Chef Boy-Ar-Dee ravioli at the back of the head of ElGato.*


Heh-heh-heh.

*Ransac then talks to the referee about monkey scientists.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[ElGato]

A quick bachhand sends the can flewing back at Ransac

Ransac- And ya know what else is cool about Monkey Scientists? You don't have to spend money on test subjects; the scientists are thier own test subjetcs!

The can explodes with a snap of ElGato's fingers, leavinf the ref and Ransac covered in moldy Ravioli.

Slinger-YUMMY!

The hungered Dementia clammers out of the audience and begins to try and devour the two smothered officials.

 

[Volraths_bane]

I tired of the arena...I am feeling nostalgic....lets go back to my ill-fated battle with Maraud for the title...hehehe

**VB grabs Gatos hands and claps them, there is a blast of light and suddenly Gato, Bane, and Ransac find themselves in japan...and 50 stories tall.**

MWAHAHAHAHAHA

**ElGato is now KING GATO...a giant laser eyed, chain slinging wild Butweasel.
Volrath's Bane is now BAYNZILLA...an enormous fire breathing, giant bed pan weilding prehistoric lizard man.
Ransac is now..yet again...CARE BEARSAC....a humongous fluffy teddy bear.**

King Gato: Well...this is really F***ed up

Care Bearsac: Damn....I sooo didn't want to relive this

Baynzilla: The worse part is we all seem to be lacking genitalia

All : AAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

**Baynzilla and King Gato lock up. Bayn goes for the fire breath and Gato goes for the laser eyes, the each move their heads and miss eachother, melting the bridge behind Gato and blowing up the hospital behind Bayn.**

Bayn: Errr....sorry all you little people....do you think I hurt anyone?

Ransac: Well...considering you just stepped on several dozen people..I think that is a yes

Bayn: Damn...oh well

**VB locks up with Gato again and they toss eachother down to the side, crushing the entire cultural center of Tokyo.**

 

[ElGato]

King Gato swings his chain, trying to whip Baynzilla, but missing and knocking the head off of another monster

King Gato-Oh..sorry dude.

Rodan-No problem, mate! I was growing wearly of the battle with Mothra, and now that he is disposed of, I can go get a spot of tea!

King Gato-Go crazy

King Gato and Baynzilla lock up again, neither able to over power the other. They fall over, crushing a large, low income apartment building, an orphanage, a mall, several hundred bystanders, and a hot-dog vendor.

King gato quicky gets to his feet and wrapps his chain around Baynzilla's chest, pinning his arms to his side. The then grabbs his head and begins to give Baynzilla the most dreaded manuver of all

GIANT NOOGIE!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Volraths_bane]

**Gato looks down when he feels a light poke on his arm, and sees a man hitting his giant forarm with a walker**

Hey...that was no mere hot dog vendor..THAT WAS MENO!!!!

**Bayzilla uses all his strength to get his legs under him and push himself to his feet. His arms still tied we goes to armlessly spear Gato, who sidesteps and sends Bayz running head first into a medical research building.**

Damn....I destroyed alot of medicines...but my Sinuses have cleared..cool!

**VB leaps up and drop kicks Gato and sends him tumbling into the bay. Vb then back up to a tall business building, hooks the chain over the top, and slips out of them. He then runs and hit the giant wet butweasel that is Gato with a flying elbow in the bay that creates a tsunami that takes out half the coastal cities in Japan.**

 

[ElGato]

King Gato- Meh, I'm sure that there plenty of coastal cities still left

Baynzilla-yeah! I mean, aren't they all coastal?

The two monsters duck a few flying tomatoes

King Gato backflipped up and grabbed his chain, unfortunatly ripping the bulding it was on in half, which unfourtunatly turned out to be a business that manufactured a low price completely heathly food that it was about to ship to every 3rd world country.

King Gato whips Baynzilla across the face, then grabs him by the shoulders. The giant Butweasel lifted Baynzilla over his head, spun him sideways, then brought him down on his knee. He landed on svereal more citizens

King Gato makes the pin...

 

[Ransac]

*Unfortunately for the participants, they didn't realize that the referee has now turned into a Mothra-like thing.*


Refthra: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

*Refthra eyes a nice tower to lays eggs on. Meanwhile, Care Bearsac, yes he's a Care Bear but he's still 50 stories tall, sneaks up behind King Gato.*


CARE BEAR STARE!!!!!


*A beam comes from the icon(which happens to be a middle finger) on Care Bearsac's belly and hits the back of the head of King Gato.*



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Volraths_bane]

**As King Gato rolls over in intense pain, Baynzilla rears up, kicks Gato in the head, and picks him up around the waist from behind. He fits him up onto his shoulder and hits..THE BANEKILLER!!!!!!!!!! Baynzilla goes for the pin as Bearsac grabs the Mothrefa and gets him to count**

1..2..3!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Baynzilla and Bearsac jump up and hug and give eachother high five, crushing hundreds more innocent bystanders**

ON TO ROUND 2!!!!!!!

 

[ElGato]

King Gato Stands up, then looks around

King Gato-Oh, you got to be kidding me. Well, this is a load of oink. I'm outta here

King Gato claps his hands, causing another warp in time and sending him back to the present. But before he did, he turned and snapped his fingers, causing the entire Isle of Japan to blow up with Baynzilla and Care Bearsac still on it.