CPW Tournament Round 1: Volrath's Bane vs. ElGato
- Thread starter Ransac
- Start date
E
ElGato
Guest
**BUM BUM BUM BUM**
The arena begins to flash red and O Fortuna begins to blare on the speakers
**BUM BUM BUM BUM**
No ElGato
**BUM BUM BUM BUM**
Still no ElGato, but the audience doesn't care, because some one had snuck in a little TV and they were all watching the Best of Don Knotts
**BUM BUM BUM BUM**
Man is that Don Knotts a cutup!
Suddenly, random explosions begin to go off all around the arena, destroying a Hot Dog vendor, a janitor, and the entire 43 and 1/2 row.
Even suddenlier, the Maul Lord ElGato falls from the rafters luckily falling on the before mentioned janitor.
ElGato dusts himself off and began to try and get a good view of the Don Knotts special.
The arena begins to flash red and O Fortuna begins to blare on the speakers
**BUM BUM BUM BUM**
No ElGato
**BUM BUM BUM BUM**
Still no ElGato, but the audience doesn't care, because some one had snuck in a little TV and they were all watching the Best of Don Knotts
**BUM BUM BUM BUM**
Man is that Don Knotts a cutup!
Suddenly, random explosions begin to go off all around the arena, destroying a Hot Dog vendor, a janitor, and the entire 43 and 1/2 row.
Even suddenlier, the Maul Lord ElGato falls from the rafters luckily falling on the before mentioned janitor.
ElGato dusts himself off and began to try and get a good view of the Don Knotts special.
V
Volraths_bane
Guest
**Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down hits as the entire arena goes dark. Green lights pulse to the rythm of the opening, pulsing a little faster until the arena is suddenly filled with blinding green pyro as the chorus blares. As the smoke clears Volrath's Bane is standing in the middle of the ring, Bed Pan of Fate raised triumphantly in one hand and the CPA belt in the other**
The time has come! The tournament is on and I AM READY! Bring on all comers, cause they will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!
**VB turns to ElGato, bows, and stands in a ready side stance**
YOU WANNA FIGHT...YOU GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!
The time has come! The tournament is on and I AM READY! Bring on all comers, cause they will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!
**VB turns to ElGato, bows, and stands in a ready side stance**
YOU WANNA FIGHT...YOU GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!
E
ElGato
Guest
"Oh my lord; enough of the melodramatics!"
ElGato points his finger at Bane, who bursts into flame. The Maul Lord then proceeds to pull out mass amounts of Marshmellows, Chocolate Bars, and Graham Crackers.
"Who wants a Smore?"
ElGato points his finger at Bane, who bursts into flame. The Maul Lord then proceeds to pull out mass amounts of Marshmellows, Chocolate Bars, and Graham Crackers.
"Who wants a Smore?"
V
Volraths_bane
Guest
I'll have one!
**VB takes the Bed Pan of Fate, uses it to to smother most of the flames on him, then takes off his still flaming cloak and tosses it over Gato's head.**
I Like then Cajun Style!!
**VB leaps and does a split kick to the flaming cloak covered head of Gato, lands and hits Gato with a roundhouse backhand bed pan to the back of his head.**
**VB takes the Bed Pan of Fate, uses it to to smother most of the flames on him, then takes off his still flaming cloak and tosses it over Gato's head.**
I Like then Cajun Style!!
**VB leaps and does a split kick to the flaming cloak covered head of Gato, lands and hits Gato with a roundhouse backhand bed pan to the back of his head.**
E
ElGato
Guest
ElGato lands in the corner of the ring, the landing extinguishing the flames.
"Oh, it's on now, son"
The Maul Lord reaches into his side poket and pulls out a large gong. He hefts Tha Hamma and lets loose a mighty...uh...Gong.
The ring transforms into martial arts style dojo, complete with weapons and big buffets of sushi. ElGato and Bane are now clad in kungfu style robes.
"The pain I inflict shall be pain!"
The Maul Lord hefts Tha Hamma and runs headlong into Bane.
"Oh, it's on now, son"
The Maul Lord reaches into his side poket and pulls out a large gong. He hefts Tha Hamma and lets loose a mighty...uh...Gong.
The ring transforms into martial arts style dojo, complete with weapons and big buffets of sushi. ElGato and Bane are now clad in kungfu style robes.
"The pain I inflict shall be pain!"
The Maul Lord hefts Tha Hamma and runs headlong into Bane.
V
Volraths_bane
Guest
**Bane Sidesteps the charge and swings back with an elbow to the back of Gato's head, sending him stubling through the cheap paper wall of the dojo**
lips not matching words: Fool...you have no honor and your sperm count is low. Fight me if you dare ha ha hahahaha!
**VB does some weird look leg stretch over his head and leaps into the air to land of Gato, but the Slo-Mo matrix like descent that gives Gato plenty of time to roll out of the way and grab a bite of sushi**
lips not matching words: Fool...you have no honor and your sperm count is low. Fight me if you dare ha ha hahahaha!
**VB does some weird look leg stretch over his head and leaps into the air to land of Gato, but the Slo-Mo matrix like descent that gives Gato plenty of time to roll out of the way and grab a bite of sushi**
E
ElGato
Guest
Swallowing the raw fish, The Maul Lord calls to Bane.
Gato-"You! In the white!'
Bane-"I am in the white"
Gato-"For this I have trained one month more than seven months. Eight months!"
Bane-"I am in the white"
Gato-"Here comes power!"
Gato began to do a crazy Japanese energy blast thingy, then discovered that he couldn't do it.
Gato-"I punch instead!"
The Maul Lord walks over and socks Bane.
Gato-"Justice...like Lightning!"
Gato-"You! In the white!'
Bane-"I am in the white"
Gato-"For this I have trained one month more than seven months. Eight months!"
Bane-"I am in the white"
Gato-"Here comes power!"
Gato began to do a crazy Japanese energy blast thingy, then discovered that he couldn't do it.
Gato-"I punch instead!"
The Maul Lord walks over and socks Bane.
Gato-"Justice...like Lightning!"
B
Bob
Guest
Ah, You read Inquest, ElGato? 
E
ElGato
Guest
Actually, that line was "Seven Swords Asunder, Gosling"
No, let me get back to my cheesey, stereotypical kunfu battle.
No, let me get back to my cheesey, stereotypical kunfu battle.
V
Volraths_bane
Guest
Ha hahahaha HA...you have no honor cat person...I shall destroy you and dance on your grave in upsetting little shorts!
**VB does a flying kick to Gato from across the dojo, sending Gato flying. VB goes to do it again but the wires get caught in the lighting rig.**
Who put that rig there...the jackal has no honor and be killed! Errrr....little help?
**VB does a flying kick to Gato from across the dojo, sending Gato flying. VB goes to do it again but the wires get caught in the lighting rig.**
Who put that rig there...the jackal has no honor and be killed! Errrr....little help?
E
ElGato
Guest
Gato lands in a handstand poisition, except he is only held up back his pinky finger, which quickly snaps off.
"ouch"
The Maul Lord melts his finger back on, then faces Bane
"hahahaHAhahaHahahhehehaha*coughcough*'cuse me"
"You are most venerable, brave shogun! You have the heart of a Panda and the scent of a Puffer Fish! Victory shall be mine, for the gods favor me and....uh....HAhaha!"
ElGato tosses a Large Fish to Bane and takes one of his own. They two brave, yet ridiculous, shogun rush at each other, FIshies ready...
"ouch"
The Maul Lord melts his finger back on, then faces Bane
"hahahaHAhahaHahahhehehaha*coughcough*'cuse me"
"You are most venerable, brave shogun! You have the heart of a Panda and the scent of a Puffer Fish! Victory shall be mine, for the gods favor me and....uh....HAhaha!"
ElGato tosses a Large Fish to Bane and takes one of his own. They two brave, yet ridiculous, shogun rush at each other, FIshies ready...
V
Volraths_bane
Guest
So floppy shogun..who fight with fish? Well then...as they say...
Live by swordfish
Die by swordfish
HIYA!!!
**VB kicks swings at Gato but cannot hit him since he is still hanging by the wires on the lighting rig...but he has an idea!**
FREE SUSHI!!!
**a trio of ninja extras hear this, run over and mug Gato, taking the fish. While they are distracted VB steals one of tantos and uses in to cut himself free**
HAhaHaHahaha...so know o might whiskered one...we shall fight to the death til we die of death!
**VB pulls out Nameilu's jagged metal spine and 2 furry animals. He attaches one to each end of the spine and charges Gato**
FEEL THE RODENT FURRY OF MY WOODCHUCK NUNCHUCKS!!!
Live by swordfish
Die by swordfish
HIYA!!!
**VB kicks swings at Gato but cannot hit him since he is still hanging by the wires on the lighting rig...but he has an idea!**
FREE SUSHI!!!
**a trio of ninja extras hear this, run over and mug Gato, taking the fish. While they are distracted VB steals one of tantos and uses in to cut himself free**
HAhaHaHahaha...so know o might whiskered one...we shall fight to the death til we die of death!
**VB pulls out Nameilu's jagged metal spine and 2 furry animals. He attaches one to each end of the spine and charges Gato**
FEEL THE RODENT FURRY OF MY WOODCHUCK NUNCHUCKS!!!
E
ElGato
Guest
"Tsseuuuooooooooo!"
ElGato begins flailing his arms randomly, coming no where close to hitting the nijas. Naturally, they fall back, crying in pain and shouting jibberish.
"Pinkey Poke of Pain!!!'
The Maul Lord pokes Bane with his Pinkey, which really doesn't do anything.
ElGato-Okay, this Ninja thing is starting to suck
Bane-Agreed
ElGato claps his hands, and the dojo blows up, leaving the contestants in the arena, even though they were a bit crisp.
The Maul Lord grabs Bane, but suddenly a rift in reality opens, and and a horrible, many armed, fanged beast walks out.
The Beast-Hi! I'm Trevor!
Trevor snarled and grabbed the two fighters and pulled them through time.
They land in a large Colosseum. ElGato in dressed in hard leather armor, complete with helmet and chain mail kilt. In his hands are a dagger and a long length of black chain, ending in a spiked weight. Bane is similarly dressed with a morning star in his hands.
A voice calls from over a loud speaker
"Volrafis Banicus, Catis Arelious, you are commanded to fight for our amusement!"
ElGato- Yeah, that does sound fun
Bane-Wheee! Death Fight
ElGato circled Bane, whirling the chain over his head and twirling the dagger between his fingers, wating for bane to make his move.
ElGato begins flailing his arms randomly, coming no where close to hitting the nijas. Naturally, they fall back, crying in pain and shouting jibberish.
"Pinkey Poke of Pain!!!'
The Maul Lord pokes Bane with his Pinkey, which really doesn't do anything.
ElGato-Okay, this Ninja thing is starting to suck
Bane-Agreed
ElGato claps his hands, and the dojo blows up, leaving the contestants in the arena, even though they were a bit crisp.
The Maul Lord grabs Bane, but suddenly a rift in reality opens, and and a horrible, many armed, fanged beast walks out.
The Beast-Hi! I'm Trevor!
Trevor snarled and grabbed the two fighters and pulled them through time.
They land in a large Colosseum. ElGato in dressed in hard leather armor, complete with helmet and chain mail kilt. In his hands are a dagger and a long length of black chain, ending in a spiked weight. Bane is similarly dressed with a morning star in his hands.
A voice calls from over a loud speaker
"Volrafis Banicus, Catis Arelious, you are commanded to fight for our amusement!"
ElGato- Yeah, that does sound fun
Bane-Wheee! Death Fight
ElGato circled Bane, whirling the chain over his head and twirling the dagger between his fingers, wating for bane to make his move.
V
Volraths_bane
Guest
I AM VOLRAFIS BANICUS, LEADER OF THE ARMIES OF FROSTING, HUSBAND TO NO ONE, FATHER TO NO ONE. AND I SHALL NEVER GET LAID...IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT!
god that was depressing!
**VB dashes at Catis, as Catis goes to strike him he does a baseball slide between his legs, trailing the morning star behind him. Banicus leaps to his feet and yanks on the Morningstar's chain, the head of it flies up and right into Gato's groin**
ALL HAIL BANICUS!!! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!?!??!?!?!?!?
god that was depressing!
**VB dashes at Catis, as Catis goes to strike him he does a baseball slide between his legs, trailing the morning star behind him. Banicus leaps to his feet and yanks on the Morningstar's chain, the head of it flies up and right into Gato's groin**
ALL HAIL BANICUS!!! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!?!??!?!?!?!?
E
ElGato
Guest
Catis backflipped into the air and, whirling his chain around, whipped it through his legs and smacked Bane in the head with the spiked weight.
Catis pulled out his dagger and began to give bane a silly hair cut with it.
Catis pulled out his dagger and began to give bane a silly hair cut with it.