Battle Of The Ancients

[Dementia]

With a bright flash of light xreemer is simultaneously imploded and exploded splattering into bits not unlike a cow going trough a meat grinder.

Looking around, Dementia sees if any of the other combatants have seen the horribly sacrificing of xreemer.

None have, they must be blind Dementia reasons to himself, to have not seen such a great light show as that.

"Wonderful" he giggles

Dementia starts feeling a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. Which he finally recognizes as pity for that fool xreemer. Poor fool he thinks to himself. As he watches his trap he giggles again "poor fool"........

 

[Gerode]

That was xreemer you imploded and exploded. Whatever you targeted was brown and smelled rather repugnant...

 

[nanokill]

at dementia for the unonton killing of a cpa member i never have met.... so..i introduce myself.."hi names nanokill, and your dead" .i then plant a solid kick to dementia's stomach ....sending him flying into his own altar trap..thus the ensueing implosion of magical forces destroys
not only dementia but his alter as well....I thought a battle of the ancients would be either the second gen members(like me) or the first gens (orgg, istanbul, zadok,tomb, excetera) battleing..oh well...all i seem to see is a buncha new faces that i have never met....

 

[Dementia]

That fool nanokill actually believes I would allow myself to be killed by my own weapon.......

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE..........

(stops laughing but occasionally giggles) there was of course a finely planed failsafe that assured that my own altar would never destroy me(since I constantly forget where my own altar is hid, I learned the hard way not to leave deadly devices around when your prone to giggling fits and blackouts such as myself) but would in fact transport me to safety(cough cough hence the implosion of magical forces)

Dementia(not usually lowered into physical combat but willing to do so every now and than) walks back to the battle ground dragging the damn altar the whole damn way.

Its a long walk but I'm not gonna count on the altar to transport me back safely(Dementia shutters at thought).

Bringing with him his trusty steel folding chair he sneaks up behind nanokill and plants a fingertip numbing chairshot to the back of nanokills head. Than before nanokill can react or perform any bodily functions for that matter Dementia picks him up, drags him to the altar, kicks him in the stomach, and Even Flow DDT's his ass on the altar. Killing nanokill instantly and transporting Dementia to safety............

 

[xreemer]

"nice to meet you nano kill"

 

[Dementia]

Wimpers Dementia when he realizes that his Altar(as he had feared) did indeed mess up and kill him.

(Dementia walks over and kicks the Altar repeatedly)

Dementia than looks around and realizes he's sharing wherever this is with xreemer and nano kill.

They both smile and start walking towards Dementia.........

OHHHHHHH CRAP..............

 

[Istanbul]

I battled here some time ago. Nobody liked it.

So I stopped.

Besides, once I got my verbal prowess going full-steam, there wasn't much in the way of challenge.

 

[DÛke]

...right, Istanbul...

"Besides, once I got my verbal prowess going full-steam, there wasn't much in the way of challenge."
No challenge? We're thinkin' a bit highly of ourselves, aren't we? I can't imagine you being actually good at somethin'...I mean, you suck at buildin' decks...you think yer perfect (when everyone knows your not), and NOW, you think yer a freakin' PIMP? What a loser.

Challenge-less? I think you're just mindless...that's all.

I know it's hard for you to grasp, but that's what I'm here for, fool, to open you highly enclosed, self-centered mind...

 

[Dementia]

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Hey guys I suggest you have this battle in space(cough mumble only place big enough for your egos cough mumble)

 

[Darsh]

Originally posted by Dementia
Hey guys I suggest you have this battle in space(cough mumble only place big enough for your egos cough mumble)

LOL! Got that right about Duke anyway, I wouldn't know about Isty.

It looks like the gauntlet has been thrown...

 

[Istanbul]

Originally posted by DÛke
...right, Istanbul...

"Besides, once I got my verbal prowess going full-steam, there wasn't much in the way of challenge."
No challenge? We're thinkin' a bit highly of ourselves, aren't we? I can't imagine you being actually good at somethin'...I mean, you suck at buildin' decks...you think yer perfect (when everyone knows your not), and NOW, you think yer a freakin' PIMP? What a loser.

Challenge-less? I think you're just mindless...that's all.

I know it's hard for you to grasp, but that's what I'm here for, fool, to open you highly enclosed, self-centered mind...

Duke, I stand no higher (okay, maybe a *bit* higher) than the average person.
This said, I can understand how I might have looked mountainous and nigh-unattainable from your perspective.

After all, from the gutter, the street looks like the sky...and considering your wretched, infantile, substandard intellectual prowess (I can't believe I referred to you and intellectual prowess in the same sentence; I'm pretty sure that's some kind of grammatical error), you must spend most of your free time grabbing with your stubby fingers in a futile attempt to get *up* to the gutter.

Now, I realize that this jab may be rather meaningless to you; containing multi-syllable words as it does, you're probably grunting in confusion as you read this, one hand mopping up the drool from your lap with your soiled t-shirt as the other waves away the flies that repeatedly mistake you for a pestilent corpse. (Of course, given the stench that wafts off of you like a palpable presence, who can blame them?)

Now, I admit that my immediate impulse was to belittle your family as well; after all, the defective genes that gave rise to such a sexually ambiguous social leper are *such* an easy target. Still, I'll refrain from doing that at this point; they're cursed with the knowledge that they are and always will be related to you. No suffering I could inflict could equal that eternal shame.

I welcome your retort...should you find yourself able to rub two brain cells together and start enough of a spark to form cohesive words, I could use the bemused laugh it would bring. Try not to light your skull on fire, though; with so much deadwood inside your head, fire safety is a must (regardless of how humorous I find the idea of you running around screaming with your head on fire).

 

[DÛke]

...you tried to jab! Next I'll teach you "1+1". (The answer is 2, Istanbul; don't work too hard at it.)

Actually, you didn't REALLY look "mountainous" to me; you just looked like one, big pile of stinkin' dog sh*t...now, if you wanna call that "mountainous", that's really your “advantage”.

You seem to know somethin' about the gutter life...tell me, were you raised there? Or was it just the place where yer mama conceived you...poor women...I can't imagine the glare of disgust on her face when she took that look at you - goin' though all that pain only to be poorly rewarded with such a maltreatment. I guess God does punish some families - after all, you probably don't even know who yer daddy is, since your mom slept with anyone and anything in order to make some pennies; I’m even surprised she managed to impress SOMEONE out there enough...and they probably JUST gave her the pennies feeling pitiful, rather than doin' anything with her. In the sewers you used to live (and probably still do) a poor rat probably managed to get up to your moms dirty vagina, only to manage to fertilize her disgusting estrogens; she probably lost her virginity at that too.

It’s just the way some families live…

Hey, whenever you want some money for (actual) food (not garbage), or (real) shelter (not the sewers), ask me. I am generous…even with the most mutated, repulsive garbage of people – such as you. You don’t have to be living that way, Istanbul…just get a job, or something. Better yet, do what your mom did, be a prostitute. Maybe you’ll manage to get some pennies off of an exceedingly desperate female (or male; I heard yer THAT way).

Now that you know your past, and see how you have no real possible future, don’t cry. Most families have deeply concealed secrets…and looks like your family isn’t different. You’re salty tears will ruin the last clean shirt you have (if you can call it clean), and you might rupture those pimples invading your face…

Be cheerful…no matter how poor your life is…there are ways to get help…even for you.

 

[Istanbul]

Wow. That was...almost challenging. Almost.

Duke, my advantages to you are limitless; the fact that I'm mountainous in intellect in comparison to you is just one facet of the truism that I'm intrinsically superior to you in every conceivable facet of reality. I'm a Lexus; you're a Pinto.

It's fascinating that bestiality was the first idea to occur to you when referring to my family. Tell me, why is that? Is it because you spend your free time naked, chasing down stray dogs and cats in a desperate search for the affection that no sentient, living thing has the intestinal fortitude to show you? Or is it the idea of your own mother enjoying the sexual attentions of a slimy rodent that brings to you some sort of perverse arousal, that you then feel the need to project onto me? I assure you, I'm aware of my familial history several centuries into the past, and unlike you, my family tree actually forks.

Unlike you, kid, I actually do have a job. I'm good at what I do; in fact, I'm the best. It's actually a fairly respectable job, that of the retail worker...it's not great as far as pay goes, but working with people is what makes for a great retail worker, and I have those skills in spades. You, however, would most likely be best served in an occupation where thought, social skills, looks, and talent are not only not necessary, but an actual detriment. 'Fertilizer dispenser' comes to mind. Granted, you're sufficiently despoiled inside and out that even your feces would quite probably be poisonous to anything that came into contact with it, but your bodily fluids can be used as a repellent of sorts; they seem to work from inside you even now, so a direct dose would be noxious, possibly even fatal.

It's pathetic that you had to be the first person to actually insult the other's family. What, did you run out of things to call me? Or is it easier to pick on people who can't fight back? Interestingly enough, you were doing the latter, and you're *still* losing this battle of wits (if you can call it that; it'd be like bringing a straw to a gunfight). It's effortless to insult you personally, however; your general lack of any personality, as well as any ability to verbally joust beyond simian grunts and screeches has me almost pitying you. It's actually somewhat admirable that you're doing your best to keep up with me...it shows spirit. I like that.

I'll destroy it, but I like it.

 

[DÛke]

...How do you determine that you're winning? Look at you, you're all but a dreamer. You base your reality on your delirious dreams. You think you're perfect and superior to everyone - unfortunately, no one (other than yourself) has been able to see beyond the imperfect, unstable, pathetic Istanbul. The only thing your "superior" in, comparing to I, is that you're older. Sadly, I've probably accomplished more than you have, and I'm younger. I doubt that you're better lookin' than I, seen that you like to be a "hermit"; no one would want to be close to such a mutant like you in the first place…

You're all about yourself. I'm not surprised that you're so arrogant, after all, you do spend most of your time by yourself, evoking your own false glory. You don't know many people, and those who you managed to get close to and know their only surface happen to be like you - pathetic. Now, this may come as a surprise, but you ARE superior to the one or two people you managed to call "friends", but you're nothing more than that. If you know as much as you claim, you'd happily discover that you're no one compared to many others - such as myself.

I'm sorry that I don't have as good job as you do…after all, I do have a life. I happen to focus on my education, and my personal relationships - two important things you lack. It's also funny that you call me a kid, when I'm rather a man, in contrast to you. Sorry, but the chickens you raped didn't really make you any better. Do you want me to find you a woman? Sure, I probably did her a couple of times and she's probably still exhausted, but…it's better than nothin'…wait, you wouldn't know, now would you? Go back to your corner and ejaculate.

If you think I'm ever BEGINNING to insult, than, as always, you're wrong. I haven't begun. I'm only scratching the surface…wait until I indulge myself in your personality…that's where you're really a flaw.

I like you attitude - the false glory - it makes you look good in the eye of fools. There are no fools here…sorry.

 

[Istanbul]

I do believe I'll disassemble this pathetic retort piece-by-piece.

Originally posted by DÛke
...How do you determine that you're winning? Look at you, you're all but a dreamer. You base your reality on your delirious dreams. You think you're perfect and superior to everyone - unfortunately, no one (other than yourself) has been able to see beyond the imperfect, unstable, pathetic Istanbul. The only thing your "superior" in, comparing to I, is that you're older. Sadly, I've probably accomplished more than you have, and I'm younger. I doubt that you're better lookin' than I, seen that you like to be a "hermit"; no one would want to be close to such a mutant like you in the first place…

How do I determine that I'm winning? It's obvious to everyone but you; I'm verbally bashing you nine ways to Tuesday, and you're verbally flailing at me with girlie-slaps. I'm superior to you in ability, verbal skills, mental acuity, financial positioning, scholastic achievements, M:TG deckbuilding skills, spelling/grammatical issues...I could keep going, but describing the ways in which I leave you in my dust is starting to hurt my fingers.

You're all about yourself. I'm not surprised that you're so arrogant, after all, you do spend most of your time by yourself, evoking your own false glory. You don't know many people, and those who you managed to get close to and know their only surface happen to be like you - pathetic. Now, this may come as a surprise, but you ARE superior to the one or two people you managed to call "friends", but you're nothing more than that. If you know as much as you claim, you'd happily discover that you're no one compared to many others - such as myself.

You're entirely right. I couldn't possibly compare myself to such as you; I would sooner gouge out my own eyes with a rusty spoon than think for one moment that I had sunk to your level. My friends are numerous, Duke...dozens of people call me friend and mentor, whereas the only way people refer to you is in hushed snickers, at your expense. I fail to see anyone calling you a friend, whereas even my departure from an editorial position prompted a score of replies with people telling me not to leave. Read my most recent article; for every negative reply I received, I received ten people bemoaning my loss. Were you to do the same, I would be surprised if three people took notice...and if even one of them wasn't cheering, I would surely die from shock.

I'm sorry that I don't have as good job as you do…after all, I do have a life. I happen to focus on my education, and my personal relationships - two important things you lack. It's also funny that you call me a kid, when I'm rather a man, in contrast to you. Sorry, but the chickens you raped didn't really make you any better. Do you want me to find you a woman? Sure, I probably did her a couple of times and she's probably still exhausted, but…it's better than nothin'…wait, you wouldn't know, now would you? Go back to your corner and ejaculate.

Reeeeeeally. Well, I'll ignore the fact that you don't include having a job as part of having a life. (I don't blame you, after all; if I were you, I would try to justify my unemployability as well.) Education? Relationships? Just so happens that I've been in a steady relationship for over a year now, and I've been going to college for twice as long. I'm afraid I don't want any woman you could possibly have to offer, though; I have bills to pay, food to buy, and suchlike...and I simply can't afford to spend fifty bucks on a one-toothed, yeast-riddled prostitute. I know this to be true, because I can't imagine any prostitute with an *option* actually electing to service you in any way...and since no woman would touch you of her own free will, you're left with whatever you can get. (Rubbing up against your dead grandmother does not count as her own free will.)

If you think I'm ever BEGINNING to insult, than, as always, you're wrong. I haven't begun. I'm only scratching the surface…wait until I indulge myself in your personality…that's where you're really a flaw.

I like you attitude - the false glory - it makes you look good in the eye of fools. There are no fools here…sorry.

Oh, don't worry. I have no illusions that you've begun to insult me. I wouldn't call what you've been doing insulting. Nor would I call it scratching the surface; your feeble attempts to chip away at me with falsehoods and vague personal implications have fallen sorrowfully short of any real competition.

Do let me know when you get going. This is...dull.

 

[DÛke]

...

I feel even more pity towards you now. You call the people on these boards “friends”? I mean, I do too…but I wouldn’t be so happy if they were my ONLY friends – which is your case.

[Laughs] And what makes you think I care if anyone on the net likes me or not? My life is in reality, not a message board. Let’s balance the act, shall we? You have many, many, many “digital” friends…and I possess a few. I, on the other hand, have many, many, many “real” friends. Now, which group is better depends on who you are. I thought I didn’t need to explain that; I guess I put to much faith in the mind of a boy like you.

Funny how you think you’re managing well, when your doin’ terrible. Let me direct your attention to something that needs directing to: the things you vibrate out of your mouth don’t really engross me in the first place, much less, reach my spiritual understandings and attempt to contusion them. Your terms are so lifeless, and lack feeling…my spirit is well taught to eliminate such consensual terminologies.

… verbal skills, mental acuity, financial positioning, scholastic achievements, M:TG deckbuilding skills, spelling/grammatical issues...I could keep going, but describing the ways in which I leave you in my dust is starting to hurt my fingers.

Verbal skills…[laughs]…you think you’re great because you have better “verbal skills”? How mentally retarded are you, exactly? I mean, I thought you were at the mild stage of your tardiness, but talkin’ to you, I believe I’m wrong! Perhaps you scored a new record of mental illness. Spelling/Grammatical issues do not define a man – I can see why you think so though – seeing how you come from the society’s lowest standards…you try to astound people by your superfluous abilities; and wow, “scholastic achievements”…hey, get that cotton out of yer ears and listen to me, I’m younger than you…you can’t evaluate your “scholastic” achievements with mine; however, I can assure you, by the time I’m your age, I will have accomplished more than you’ll ever do in the final stages of your already wretched, concluding life.

You know, a true leader in life…a true man…would gladly admit his imperfection…you, on the other hand, think you stand on a solid ground with an unshaken state of mind, and possess extreme spirituality. No man is perfect until he fully admit his flaws – obviously – you think yer flawless…

You’re not superior to anyone… but you have to admit, I do make you look like a wandering fool who only sees life through his own eyes and lies. You set a perfect example for yourself…and for yourself alone. Don’t be mortified to learn from me. I’ll make sure I propose you my unsurpassed knowledge…ANYTHING to reinstate your steady delusions about the "life" you have.

I don’t really crave to say something YOU will regret, but if you thrust my limits, I’ll be more than pleased to submerge you into my levels of extreme cruelty. I don’t want to hurt you, but YOU messing with me will break you more than you already are. I don’t desire to see another human crumble at the facts I unmask. Push one more button, Isty, and I’ll take you on the devil’s slide – the “entertainment” you’ve been moaning for…like a sexually deprived b***h.

 

[Istanbul]

(I'm on hiatus for a little bit. A couple of very bad things have happened in my life in the past couple of days, and if I get started, I don't know if I'd be able to stop. Sorry, Duke. If you want, you can say you won this round.)

 

[Multani]

Wow, you guys gave an exellent performance. It reminds of the old days when Isty, Chaos Turtle, Orgg and a host of others were chewing each other's heads out. Even Jackal was involved...those were fine moments.
You guys truly have had an exellent battle.

Isty: Sorry about your personal issues. I hope you sort them out.

"The battle is lost, but the enemy has yet to win the war." -Multani

 

[DÛke]

...

You have misjudged my morality. I cannot pretend as if I had won…that’s something you would commit, Istanbul: unjust acknowledgement of pretensions.

As sorry as I may be for saying this, I AM sorry that you have encountered personal issues, and DO hope that you eliminate any obstacles you’re destined to encounter.

May our egos reencounter in another era…

“I have yet to see the tears…”

 

[Istanbul]

Well, apparently, the feud is REAL. Duke has decided that his argument with me is genuine.

Whatever.