1,2,3,4, I declare a ... poetry contest

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Mazzak, Mar 25, 2003.

  1. Mazzak Stylemongering Protodeity


    Mazzak has decided, and will not be dissuaded, that what the CPA needs right this minute is a dash of copper dust, a barrel of monkeys, and a hearty game of Find The Fish. But mostly, a Poetry Contest.

    The glorious and talented Casual Player who manages to please me most with his or her word-arranging skillz shall recieve in the mail an authentic Mazzak-style shiny object inspired by their poetic stylings.

    So go forth and create, and you may be rewarded handsomely...
  2. Svenmonkey Pants Chancellor

    Well, you know what I'm going to submit. Unfortunately, the computer that it's stored on only starts up in Safe Mode and will need a clean reinstall of Windows after we get everything we need off of the hard drive. :eek:
  3. Mazzak Stylemongering Protodeity

    I'm the Tumbleton Tractor Queen 1999 if that thing wins.
  4. Svenmonkey Pants Chancellor

    I'll start calling you the Tumbleton Tractor Queen right now, then, Tumbleton Tractor Queen.
  5. Mazzak Stylemongering Protodeity

    I am very disappointed in you all for not posting poetry in this thread. POST OR DIE SCALLAWAGS!!!!!!
  6. Svenmonkey Pants Chancellor


    Yea, the great opposum,
    upon his humble hind lay a flea of twenty,
    who's vast fisheries exceeded rest,
    "but why?" quoth the flea,
    "must I tabanise myself upon this marsupial hide?,"
    "The tollage lieth beyond."

    Along the line of sand grains Crotalus basks awaiting,
    till blazing sheets of flame parget the shining portal,
    and death lie awaiting infenitismal legions,
    abrasions on marsupial hides be lessened,
    Pestilence cometh to the Siphonapteran.

    The gate of peril gloweth before the fleafolk,
    blazing like an unearthen comet,
    pulling through the parasites three by three,
    three by three they disappeared,
    through the window of no mercy,

    Beat that you kids! I've already posted this on this forum twice, but it still retains its riveting storyline and jaw-dropping action scenes.
  7. Thallid Ice Cream Man 21sT CeNTuRy sChIZoId MaN

    The Ian MacDonald Saga (Inspired by Ian MacDonald)

    Thus died the acorn bereft of family nor titties.
    Sink, sink, sink, sink, sink little young man.
    The acorn, the apothem, the flowering walrusroot'n'cabbage-pie gyro,
    scratches its last ass like a 1337 kiddy dying in a hail of bad action movie DVD cases.
    the deft little meaty fingers on the big strong fishermens hands
    assaulted and defil't the can opener.
    Ian Macdonald could not have imagined a sweller scene, and Ian Macdonald dreamed of only saxophone rape.

    hired guns and waistcoats from the coast
    prance in staggering stark defiance of hope for any human development
    lick bite blood finger
    smiling stab tooth burning brush
    one note sol heil master egg puruple eye
    geldof gobber gibbon gherkin gfret
    6:37 shrapnel stirring stick
    shuttlecoKCk schwinn piston industry
    sandpaper on muscle
    Ian MacDonald where are you now

    retroactive addition
    pulse death
    bleed bled bleed bled bleed bleddededdedlbbdddblleeebeblb

    Ring finer finger 54 studious
    silhouetted winger wagons sear and insert the PAINFUL KNIFE
    thirteen eight, eight twenty eight
    enter MacDonald

    soleil solo saxophone
    da da da da-da-da-da
    believe thrust death cold hand obelisk
    warm and destroy little dog
    acorn call to me my pew powers
    no promise of freedom
    MacDonald do slump

    from the crowd:
    sheeps oink not in time of peril
    olde forbieen ways curse through the black as marinas vent night
    sink they to freedom of noth

    Edit: Oh great, I forgot it filters out shuttleco ck, the thing you hit with in badminton. That's all I edited (and this and the spaces, of course).
  8. Mazzak Stylemongering Protodeity

    Some good old fashioned nonsense.
  9. Svenmonkey Pants Chancellor

    I fail to see any edge-of-your-seat action in his. It's clearly there in mine. Anyway...

    The Place Where I Go Every Evening Around Five Unless I'm Watching Television

    Once a bush,
    nine point one two five eight,
    no more extraterrestrial,
    no more bean curd.

    Celeste, my rash!
    Oh the ponderous frippery!
    I require more than five batteries per hour!
    Less energy-efficient than a Beetle Borg.
  10. Mazzak Stylemongering Protodeity

    Sorry, but his has the line "soleil solo saxophone" which i find just cricket-spitting hilarious.

    Edit: everyone must post here. Don't make me start posting some of my own...
  11. train The Wildcard!!!...

    Jakc and Jill
    went up the hill
    each with a dollar and a quarter

    Jill came down
    with two and a half
    think they went up for water?!...;)
  12. Thallid Ice Cream Man 21sT CeNTuRy sChIZoId MaN

    "Celeste, my rash!" is really good though, I recognize that much. And "frippery..." someone else has been listening to king crimson... ;)
  13. Svenmonkey Pants Chancellor

    I do not know where my knowledge of the wonders of frippery came from, but it was in a short story I read for English class.
  14. Apollo Bird Boy

    I am far from a master poet, but I like writing goofy love poems to friends. :p My friend Dana was complaining that her boyfriend never wrote her love letters, so I told her that I'd write a letter for him and send it to her. This is it:

    I love you for your smile,
    Beautiful and sweet;
    I love you for your eyes,
    And can't wait till mine they meet.

    I love you for your cheeks,
    Blushing bright as they read this.
    I love you for you,
    Who I already miss

    I love you for your personality,
    Never arrogant or snooty;
    And most of all, dearest Dana
    I love that luscious booty.
  15. Apollo Bird Boy

    This one I wrote to my friend Erin one day... she told me she watned a poem, and I was hungry and feeling goofy...

    The Things I love

    You are like BBQ chicken pizza, enticing me with the first taste, but still promising ever more delight with the flavors to come

    You are like Cherry Coke, refreshing me and invigorating me, yet leaving me thirsting for even more

    You are like SweetTarts, shocking me, then diminishing to a level of divine sweetness before melting away each night

    You are like Chicken Parmesan, a delightful blend of everything that is good in the world

    You are like vegetable lasagna, with many layers and lots of depth to your personality, and ohhhh so good for me

    You are like a perfect steak, tender and warm, and best when filled with juices

    And finally, you are like ice cream, delicious, sweet, and really good when I'm all hot and sweaty
  16. Mazzak Stylemongering Protodeity

    Your ending lines are hysterical, mister fiery chicken.
  17. Svenmonkey Pants Chancellor

    I'm appalled by the cheesy love poems. I'm going to call mommy.
  18. Zero T Katama Silver Shadow Guardian

    The Tree

    The tree
    it does not know
    how deep and wide
    the roots of pain may go

    The tree
    does not learn
    how branches of love
    can be broken and make one yearn

    The tree
    it cannot see
    how woes like leaves
    drop down in twos or threes

    Yet my tree
    lies deep inside
    it is my heart, and knows
    these pains far and wide
  19. Apollo Bird Boy

    Hehe, thanks Mazzak, and Sven, I'm sorry if they're too cheesy for ya, but I guess I'm just a pretty cheesy guy. :p

  20. Prince RXI CPA Moon-Boy

    'Rain's Lore'
    By David Wanich/ Prince RXI

    At the sight of darkened skies
    I tremble as I realize
    That long ago on far off shore
    That mighty legend fell to lore

    There that lay a misty maiden
    Of which fate love-lorn had laden
    For her hero so bold and true,
    Vanished with words of love too few

    She who lost her love now lays
    And with her sorrows there she stays
    Love and friendship some may mock
    But for her mourn she is like a rock

    And still she sits and waits the day
    That by chance that he should stray
    And return there to where he left
    With his heart mourning her theft

    But here I sit on this side
    With the jewel for her I tried
    And wait the day that she comes here
    Rain, that one I love so dear.

    Prince RXI, ...Rain... I miss the.

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