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For those wondering why I still haven't updated this: I spilled water on my keyboard. I totally cannot afford this and was worried that something like this would happen. I will work out some sort of interim solution eventually...

The rogue graphemes have been suppressed. On my return to the office, I must report the unusual preponderance of dissaranged text. No hurry. These things happen. We came here to settle the matter of escaped wildlife. Remember? I have not forgotten. Thank you, everyone, for your lexical...

Throg inspects the door. Solid wood in worn but not ruined condition. It doesn't appear to be locked or to have any traps. Nothing can be heard behind the door.

Feeling unsafe, Ward attempts to shield himself with his shotgun and bicycle wheel while hoping the others can mount a successful attack this turn.

I don't think you missed anything. It was the only direction anyone had so much as suggested going and no one else was posting anything, so I wanted to move things along. If you'd rather go somewhere else, that's still a possibility. Basically all but the very last turn would have been necessary...

The card game? I've played it a few times. It's fun.

Dorgath fails to locate any traps or secret doors in the temple chamber. Since no one seems to have any objections, the party goes with Dorgath to check out the northern door in the mummy's lair. The journey is uneventful. Kelgar seems to have trouble getting his healing powers to work, but...

If the E can be captured, since we have a nice spot between P and D for it, that means we can use our J and A to demonstrate that the tiles have really only "japed" around with us this whole time. That should bring their morale down. If an N and O can be captured, Ward will attempt to use the B...

I cannot make anything useful yet. Try capturing the "T" and we can give the remaining tiles a serious "jolt." Or if we can get even more, Ward could really use a "larynx" to go with his piehole...

Ward grabs the king's men. Firstly, "piehole" is in the dictionary. It dates back to the eighteenth century as a term for an eyelet, usually in leather or cloth. The word was later used to refer to the mouth. Secondly, letters are not animals. Who ever heard of using nets to catch letters? The...

Careful, everyone. These letters are not to be trifled with. I do not recognize this particular font, so it may be difficult to ascertain their weakness... No, McGill! "Violin" doesn't even have an "H" in it. You're going to get yourself killed. Sophia, I forget, how do blank tiles... Ward...

And with one post, Melkor's character has become ten times as badass.

Ward will order dinner if it does not require funds to do so (I don't even know what the currency here is. Dollars? Bottle caps?).

I am Agent Ward Bashenthal: Grammar Police. Animal Control has received reports of a recent large-scale animal escape event occurring here. Since they are currently understaffed, Animal Control requisitioned me to travel here and, if possible, recapture the offending fauna. I have been...

Throg retrieves his axe from the wall while Kelgar helps Dorgath identify the items... Charm of Learning: This charm allows any warrior to assimilate knowledge required for training more quickly. If equipped, it will decrease the cost of training to the next battle-level by 300 gold, then the...

That would be Skabnoze, the orc shaman that the party encountered in the first deep of this dungeon. Carrow briefly pinned his foot to the floor with an arrow, and he panicked and escaped with what seems to be an invisibility ring. Then he showed up here with Magrak Manbane (the chaos warrior...

Dorgath's earlier suspicion seems to be correct: the gem appears to be a large pink sapphire. The compartment at the base of the altar contains three items... A stylized charm. A steel sword in excellent condition with an unusual design on its hilt. A map. Kelgar manages to heal himself with...

Let us press on. If time permits, there will be an extended recess for grazing and allowing sore muscles to recover. We are already so deep into the theater district that we may be unable to avoid a matinée. If there are further unforeseen delays, it is possible that we could be stuck here when...

Heh. Yes. I shook my head when I saw that roll. Poor Throg.

The ghouls and warriors charge each other. -Throg quaffs his Potion of Pain. It only heals 2 Wounds. -Dorgath throws his last firebomb, badly burning four ghouls. -Carrow becomes afraid of ghouls. His attacks against them are at -1 to hit. -Carrow slashes at a ghoul, but in his fear, doesn't...